It comes down to being how you would truly be in any given moment, IF you weren’t trying to get anything from a woman – or anyone for the matter. Just seeing folks say “well I think you gotta be macho then show a little vulnerability” means you are coming from the wrong place at the get-go, the “strategizing” shows an inherent flaw.
The more I have “observed” thus more aware over the years, the more I noticed how very un-similar different (true) ladies men can be. Just look at, say, Marlon Brando versus a Mick Jagger. Very opposing mannerisms.
Upon reflection, when things really clicked and took off for me, what I was doing and what I attribute a great personal transformation to is I would meditate/contemplate daily and often on how I would be if I didn’t want anything from anyone, was completely content on my own, and stopped trying to get something (attraction, respect, approval, them liking me, thinking I’m cool, etc.) from people. I did this for tons of different situations I would find myself in.
It didn’t take too long of doing this consistently, that I noticed great personal changes taking place, some of them freaked me out (due to more feminine and sensative characteristics and energies emerging), but I started to feel really good and comfortable in my skin. I became more of *my* natural or true self. And the response from others, especially women, was mind blowing.
Since then, I have had women ocassionally tell me they still sometimes wonder if I’m gay, or they thought I was gay at first, I’ve even met a couple girls and within the same night they adamant that I have to be gay/can't be straight, and then an hour later in my bed.
But it also makes you wildly unpredictable and intriguing to people (women) when you are acting from your true and natural self (a very masculine trait) as opposed to approval and validation seeking behavior that is in contradiction to who you really are, and this is extremely attractive to the opposite sex. So in addition to becoming more “feminine” (even maybe even “gay-er”)
, at the same time, girls tell me they have never in their life experienced someone before that hasn’t pursued them, or that they can’t eventually crack or tame.
And who knows, maybe for other people, becoming more of their true self would be to become way more masculine and macho (just didn’t happen to be the case for me).
So I think it’s not should I be more macho or more sensitive, but being true to yourself in any given moment. And this can only happen when you let go of wanting and needing things outside of yourself (and especially letting go of wanting women) instead of needing these things in order to be happy.