Natural Freedom

I was reluctant to post this, but it's bugging me.

I currently see one girl that shows signs of interest that I like. I do want to go to prom, however, my family has put on the pressure over the years. I got asked to prom twice in years past I didn't really feel like going with those girls so I said no.

My family chastised me for that. I used that to justify not going to dances. Truthfully they scare me. I'll literally feel like a failure if I don't got o prom. Class dues pay for it and thats partly why my parents paid them, I think. Now I was never that interested in dances other than I thought I was probably missing out on some fun. I do kinda like them. Oh and that girl seems to like me and my best friend and he's liked her for like two years so I wouldn't.

I got felt out for prom by two girls this year. I didn't want to go with either. One I couldn't get past she was a sophomore (I liked her) and I'd feel low for taking her. The other isn't that attractive and I'd get ripped on by my friends. She does have something about her personality that draws me however.

I was being prideful thinking I'm so pretty (Evidence proves I have some looks, but this is mostly a cover for insecurities. On a deep level I feel inadequate and even unattractive.) girl will probably ask me. I was sure I'd be in a relationship by now. That was probably all fear. I was just afraid of being a "failure".

I want to prom, but I feel I need a pretty girl. Or I'll be a loser. Cause I mean then I'd less than all those other kids right? Man there is a big disconnect between my mind and feelings. I work with a lot of pretty girls, a girl that I'm sure I could've gone with, I'm pretty sure I pissed off because my joke went wrong. I walked out afterwards because I was leaving and stopped because she wanted to talk to me. I joked about her work to a manager. Wile I'm sure the manager understood me joking, she didn't take kindly and note taken.

If nothing comes up, my plan is to probably ask a girl that shows signs of interest from work. I want a girl I'm at least attracted to a fair amount. Most girls that like me are sophomores, does mark value even apply this earlier? I'm not sure why that seems to be the case, other than I really don't associate with many girls in my grade. I don't really have any female friends either. I have like 1 month I need advice.

Deja-Vu already? I can't

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Another thing I think I should mention. I don't have many many friends in school. I'm pretty shy in school, not really how I have descovered I am naturally. Pretty sure I have more out of school and this makes it waay hard to go alone. I'm not sure how much I'd be able to enjoy it alone.

When I went to that girls bday that I had a thing with (it was a dance) I went and had a good time, but there I had friends (closer than school) and there wasn't nearly as much pressure.

For future reference your family shouldn't ever do this to you guilt you into something you don't want to. From what I can tell it seems like your parents are projecting inadequacies on you with expectations that you should live out for them since they couldn't do it themselves (I could be wrong though but that is what I gathered).
Sounds like that is your friends problem now if you think the friendship is worth it you should put him on game and see how he takes it considering he's still a young buck there might be hope for him. You did the right thing by not involving yourself with the female in question as far as that situation goes drama could have unfolded. Or if executed correctly if you want to put that work in and be discreet no one would be the wiser. As Kidd!! would say push ups Reeks of approval seeking you need to validate yourself before you worry about these ho's real talk.
There is a time for cloaking and a time to follow your gut for the sophmore you spoke of was it that big of a deal really? And if so does the environment you currently in strongly go against that. For the other one if there is a force drawing you 2 together just go with it as long as you find her attractive who cares there is Grinus story i need to find and post that will be perfect you to read on this exact scenario.

Found it enjoy: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=453
It does mostly the brainwashing from our parents about this nonsense its the form of popularity and nerds and other various forms.


You need to read these:
viewtopic.php?f=31&t=2512
viewforum.php?f=20

Another thing I think I should mention. I don't have many many friends in school. I'm pretty shy in school, not really how I have descovered I am naturally. Pretty sure I have more out of school and this makes it waay hard to go alone. I'm not sure how much I'd be able to enjoy it alone.

See above

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~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo

Take two? Forget it.

I was exactly like you in high school. I was also asked by a girl to go to prom but I didn't want to so I didn't.

People will always say you'll regret it but if you don't want to go who cares.

Less energy spent worrying about others...MORE energy spent on listening to that voice inside your head that your ignoring right now. You already have all the answers.

High School seems like a big deal now. But it isn't.

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

Bro trust me prom is not worth the stress it's all about walking across the stage with that diploma in your hand and moving forward in life.

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I don't love them. I don't chase them. I duck them.

Whoa an epiphany I think he gets it

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~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo

...pause...

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

I take it you've been watching the boondocks

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~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo

That was a beautiful post by G. Thanks for that.

As for my parents my mom was voted most beautiful and popular in the yearbook and dumped my dad when going to prom. My dad busts her still occasionally for that she came back to him. My dad doesn't seem to care too much and my mom I think would be disappointed if anything.

Funny. Today we had a fire evacuation. No biggie. It was cold and wet so I went inside the grounds keeping shed. That girl (sophmore) found me, actually we seemed to find each other at the exact same time and lock eyes. She came over and stuck with me the whole time (about an hour). We talked me mostly to pass time it was nice but not really anything more than small talk. When we had gone to the auditorium, we sat alone away from everybody front and center. I said somewhere upfront, maybe in the middle she picked dead center I feel that means something. Although I didn't catch it then I feel she wanted to talk deeper. Her dad has cancer and is being treated I think and I look back now and see she seemed to have something on her mind. I noticed neither of us looked each other in the eyes, yet her body was pointed to me, until the conv died and she turned neutral and played with her phone. I think she must be slightly uncomfortable with me because to fill space in between she did that talk to herself stuff girls do while on her phone instead of conversing.

I wasn't sure if I should go deeper, was uncomfortable, and didn't. She have me the opening. My mind sounded an alarm and threatened me that she might dump emotional baggage on me and I don't want to be a dumpster. And yet...

She walked out I assume the other aisle or way behind me (not consistent with previous actions). Whatever.


While I do care about her situation, I don't consider her my friend she does to me, but emotional baggage seems uncaring to me. Perhaps that was selfish of me she opened and I wanted to, but I refused because those Pua's said I would be stuck a friend. Ha no I will do next time.

You are still too outcome attached.Less is more

Oh my god, I actually read on the title:

Porn...

What a dislexyic horny mofo I am.

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GMST

You are WAY in your head to be analyzing such details while they are happening (she sat here, what does that mean) -- you are drawing all sorts of conclusions and truths and they are all in your mind, potentially nowhere near the truth-- she faced this way, it probably means that, but we used to do this blah blah blah. A very dangerous combination of having read a lot of stuff, being in your head, and drawing all sorts of conclusions based on mind information and 'data' rather than FEELING it and being present in the interaction.

IMHO the worst thing here is for anyone to break down your interactions more and say 'this means this and you did this' -- you are doing all of that WHILE the shit is happening. Could you imagine if you were this analytical and detached while you were in the middle of playing a sport?

I want to be clear that being OBSERVANT and being completely in your head and forming stories are two very different things. The bitch is when you are doing the latter you often think it's doing the former.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTXz8xMaJi4

I'm beginning to understand how The Kidd!! feels when it comes to getting confirmation man it feels good to be right
You gave space when unsure of something this is the best default actually.
If she's choosing this shouldn't be too big of a deal but still be careful
This! don't give a damn regardless of the outcome you are fine with or without her.
Honestly tell her to shut that shit up (not in those words) if you can see yourself doing that, as Star Above (or possibly Morpheus) once said these bitches don't know what to do with kindness they perceive it as weakness and will test your breaking point they see that as eventually getting their way. I personally dress up the words and make them pretty and say something like its unfortunate what happened but I was having a good day until brought that depressing topic up I would like to continue to have a good its not very often I get to enjoy days like this especially with all the nonsense I hear on the news everyday, translation: tell that to someone who gives a fuck because I don't.

You should address that PUA shit as I said if she is choosing this isn't a big deal but as I said be careful with that see above.

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~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo

While you are right I am in my head to much; most of this analyzation is after the fact. I took mental notes and while my mind did label, I was however, experiencing to a large degree. I need a clear distinction between the too. I think I'm even more confused now that you bought it up.

I get the picture that you think I'm carefully analyzing everything and planning my every move, I'm not. If I felt like talking I did. If not I simply observed the others around me. Did I analyze my own feeling, yes. I felt uncomfortable where I think the conversation would have gone. I did not realize this at the time, only after the fact. Initially I did not see why she made the statement she did; later I remembered something she said a few weeks ago and understood. She in a way restated something she had said before so I know I must be mostly right.

It is my nature to want to understand the why and how. I want to understand myself. I care more about becoming better socially in general and with women than a specific women. I'm going to be a math major, so yeah.

Understanding yourself is valuable.

The more you examine the "me" that is "observing myself," and the more distinction you begin to make between observing vs. projecting the deeper and more useful your understanding will be. You'll be more fully BEING yourself, and that understanding goes from mental knowledge to wisdom that will flow into your actions. You'll feel the vibe in the moment and the solution will present itself in the moment.

I'm not knocking analysis or you looking at what happened or what you did with things in general -- but you can analyze after the fact whether you are in total flow state or totally in your head. Football player watches a video of himself to analyze what he's doing in the moment but he's going to be playing the best the more fully 'there' he is. You train your mind and you also play full on when it is time to play. These are not mutually exclusive things at all, they are complimentary.

I can introduce you to a lot of people who "know" all the reasons why they do the fucked up behaviors they do, the whole self esteem/attachment/childhood reasons, what their therapist says about it, what they are 'working' on and it is not integrating into their actual behavior or changing their life. Knowledge and wisdom are different.

You honestly have no idea how much in your head you are, until you experience more and more vividly what it is like to be coming from the gut/balls/direct experience etc.

It is just something to be aware of.

And, yes- notice how attachment to the outcome colors the whole process. Even 'wanting to get better socially' you are going to have to explore what you think that means, why you want it, what you want to get from it, all of that good stuff.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTXz8xMaJi4