Yeah I'll stick to commenting on things where I'm more familiar with the subject matter
On that note though, TheDude, you might also want to look at the "what was I supposed to do?" element - which to me suggests a paradigm that
you HAVE to respond with something, and then it's about learning intellectually the 'right' thing to respond with.
Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, what you are actually feeling has a way of getting communicated no matter what you do.
How to actually not FEEL invested, how to actually be indifferent enough to completely not get sucked in even when there are still trained voices saying 'but i might lose this,' and how to actually feel both powerful and happy no matter what happens is a completely different animal than learning what external things might convey that.
The very act of consciously trying to convey those things via 'what should I say' inherently is coming from a different place. I actually consider this to be the exact same energy as 'chasing girls' in different clothes pretending that it's not- like a 'how do i actively show her that i don't care RIGHT NOW'
Flow I completely agree with you on this. I hint traces of PUA lurking inside my mind still. And, I wasn't far off from asking you all "what should I text her". I'm glad this showed up, as it shows what I need to work on.