Natural Freedom

So, I met this girl at a piercing shop. We kicked it for two days, and had a good interaction. I'm busy and so is she, so, we haven't seen each other for a good week now. However, she's been texting me all the time. I "asked" her when she was free in the week, and she told me she was busy; ok that's fine.

There was a free Concert Sunday in our city and I asked her if she wanted to join. She said looks cool, but has work in the morning, and isn't sure if she could go. She doesn't let me know if she could go or not; pissed me off a little. She texted me saturday night "Whatchu doin tonight?" . I was at a music festival and didn't answer,

Last night she after the concert she texts me:

Her: How was the concert?
Me: It was alright
Her: Jus alright?
Me: it was great (include a pic of the event)
Her: How was your week
Me: ( I didn't answer; I was drained and sleepy)
Her: Hang out with me again
Me: (In the morning) I "guess" we could do that
Her: Psh fine be that way



Did I fuck up somewhere? I was being aloof and showing less than her. I feel like she's "testing" me right now. I haven't responded back; thought I would get some others, who are more experienced, to further analyze this.

I don't think you fucked up because she still wants to get together with you. But you want to create a sense of urgency for her to see you and over communication kills it.

Space is the place...and you aren't giving enough.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

She was actually the one to say "get to the point" (let's hang out)

To me even the second text is her saying "HELLO, i'm trying to hook up with you here"

Instead of naming time and place to get together, you took it BACK into "let's joke around w/ cute comments" mode.

You don't really need to be trying to communicate stuff when a girl is saying "come sleep with me" IMHO.

Less is more.

TheDude: I am not sure you have decided where you want to take this, so what is she meant to think?

If you havent decided, how is she meant to know what you have decided.

You are coming across as either not sure OR lacking some balls.

You are contacting her then pussy footing around.. Mixed messages?

Tell me I am wrong

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Was I not giving enough, by responding back to her daily texts? She was txting me, what was I supposed to do.

Yes, but with Pimp Tight Mentality I was under the impression that we give space to the girl to "ask us out"; not us asking her out (we are the prize, not her).
I wish I could say you're wrong.

Something to think about:

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

Not answer or get to the point - you, in my experience, actually got a rare softball where she was the one to take it there, "ok, fuck it, i'll just say it, COME HANG OUT WITH ME" - ie, dude, i'm trying to hint that i want to get together with you, will you stop engaging the chatty texts and get the clue.
While I am not familiar with the pimp mentality like the other gentlemen here who could speak to that, "come hang out with me", ready very carefully, sounds like a girl is asking you to go 'hang out' with her - some might call that 'she asked you out'

She's jerking your chain...power play.

...and you blew it when you told her you guess you could hang out.

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

@Flow ~ she pretty much did ask me out. In my head though IM THROUGH CHASING GIRLS! Why couldn't she just say: come over, or, wanna hangout tomorrow?

This is what I initially thought.

My advice would have been to lay way back if you guys had such a good weekend together initially. Short answers to any 'chit chat' texts or no answer at all depending on what your gut says. Eventually it would drive her crazy and she would be compelled to pursue you and ask you out.

EDIT: or maybe she wouldn't ask you out and there's your answer - minus all the effort and stressin'

I see. How would you have acted.

@StephenP ~ Should of listened to my gut.

Shitty day today and this is just adding to it!

I haven't responded to her last text. Should I drop her; not respond and let her reinitiate?

I was thinking of texting her : I want you. Had a shitty day today (I'm being direct and have intent?)
Letting her know I like her; is this sympish?

Please don't

Or do...In the name of science

oh boy!!!

I was having a crap day, but it's getting better chatting with you guys.

She did invite you out, from my experience and what I gathered from it she probably would've left that decision up to you decide the day, time, and place. She was basically letting you lead home boy

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~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo

Nope...she's setting an ego trap.

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Interesting. Can see I was assuming a lot of things and not looking at the whole context, and even then may not have seen it.

IMHO when there is 'text chatting' and convo's, especially where you are engaging in them but doing the "i'm intentionally trying to say stuff that sounds like I'm kind of aloof" (if it sounds harsh it's directed at older version of myself ), then you are in a whole different zone so to speak.

I will say that my world around this stuff transformed when I actually began dropping the attachment, combined with being busy enough, that not engaging anything except directly what I wanted became something that just 'happened' and was no longer thinking about it as some kind of technique. This also could mean literally months of no communication, something I would never have done if I was *trying* to not communicate and thinking about it. It's not really even patience at that point, because you have let it go out of your agenda.

EDIT: btw, not sure if this would change TheKidd's response either way, but I was assuming you two had slept together and that "hang out with me again" was a "let's do that again" ...

You didn't...I didn't get this perceptive overnight, you know.
Yup...and at that point...it's what I like to call TRUE INDIFFERENCE...the ULTIMATE trump card for men in the battle of the sexes.

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Was the ego trap her stating "hangout with me again " from there I would have responded with: "ya wanna hangout tomorrow" or some shit, but doing that would be have given her the power?

p.s. When she said "hangout with me again" I thought why the fudge she wouldn't say "I WANT to hangout with YOU again ". One of the first giveaways that she wasn't as invested in me as I thought.

So guess who's invested?

...AND you're projecting harder than IMAX.

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!