Natural Freedom

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 4:16 pm 
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I have something in me I perceive as infinite anger generator.

I have been trying to solve this with meditating, and that has only resulted in supressing it even more.

I'm impulsive by nature.. But I'm not sure to what extent it's natural for me, to act angry.

It's something I've been supressing all my life, I believe


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 8:39 pm 
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I have the same thing, use your craft as a vehicle to transmute it. ;)

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 9:24 pm 
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Alchemist wrote:
I have the same thing, use your craft as a vehicle to transmute it. ;)
Traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaans-MUTE! :D

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:50 pm 
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I have no craft... I have no money now to do anything, drawing makes to torn paper to shreds, is that the way you thought I should do it ?


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2012 8:55 pm 
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fufe wrote:
I have no craft... I have no money now to do anything, drawing makes to torn paper to shreds, is that the way you thought I should do it ?
Have you ever thought of doing your drawings and then selling them on a penny stock site? They don't pay a lot per download but if you get a bunch up and thousands of people come across it and download it you got something.

There was one guy in university for art and photography he made more than his professors doing that. Just taking pictures from around his city.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 9:57 am 
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fufe wrote:
I have no craft
BULLSHIT

Try what Morpheus suggested, your talent is too great to go to waste.

And by drawing them out I mean drawing your frustrations ON the paper as an outlet.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 6:58 pm 
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In visualisation talk to your anger as if it were another person and you are a close friend of. Its a way to get some deep insights.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 2:51 pm 
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Could be typical passive aggressive anger suppression. If someone fucks with you and you don't say shit, holding that in can really fuck with you. ALWAYS speak your mind, check people that disrespect you, don't turn around and walk away and mumble fuck you after your out of their presence.

I was like that as a kid, typical passive aggressiveness and it can drive you crazy, once I quit that shit and told people exactly what I wanted to say I felt so much better, all that anger and self-loathing just evaporated.

Of course you can get to a place where you don't give a fuck and nothing anybody says bothers you anyway...but either way, there is no spoon, I prefer to speak my mind.

As for your craft, you have one trust me, you've just been led to believe you have to do something you hate to make money. What do you do in your spare time, or want to do...

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A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 11:46 pm 
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I am intimately familiar with the "infinite anger generator" - heh

That is actually an excellent word choice because the anger is not a static THING but something that is generated from moment to moment.

In my experience, anger is extremely easy to censor. I don't mean externally but internally (in many if not most cases in life you DO need to censor it externally - that is until you learn to truly process it internally).

You probably know that resisting it or telling it to stop is 100% pointless, so is trying to get rid of it. It needs to say what it needs to say and it will not stop until - this is key - it has expressed EVERYTHING it needs to express and you have listened to it and allowed it to do so. It just won't shut up until it does, which is why it seems infinite.

The more you take your hands off the anger and invite it truly come up and express itself, it can be quite intense some of the images that may come into your mind, some of the sensations in your body. You might feel like you are going to explode or have horrible images, and it is very easy to have the mind kick in at this point and shut down the process, or the censoring of the thoughts... which can be as simple as thoughts like "oh well of course I'd never actually do THAT or i'd never want THAT to happen" at which point you have stepped on the hose.

In a lot of cases it feels like you are doing the responsible thing because it can feel like truly letting it all up that it is going to take you over or make you do something stupid, and so it is always kept just a little bit at bay and is never fully let out of the cage, so it keeps rattling it.

The work is to keep going in and listening to it WITHOUT the agenda of fixing it or getting rid of it, and learning to trust that you are the master and that it is not going to take you ever when it starts to really rear in intensity the more you let it express itself.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2012 11:51 pm 
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I should add that if you have judgements or ingrained teachings about how wrong it is to express any of this, as the excellent post above mine said with the passive-agressiveness, this is another layer that will censor it and keep it from being expressed.

You must give yourself full permission to feel all of what you are feeling and not give a fuck what anyone has ever told you about how you are supposed to think or feel, because the fact of the matter is that you ARE feeling it and everything else is just layers of bullshit trying to cover up what is really there. That analogy accounts for how a huge percentage of the world lives and deals with everything.

As you process it more, you will not turn into a maniac with people nor does it mean you are some total spiritual pussy who people can walk on while you "process it" - it means you will say what you need to say and make your stance clear when you need to, handle the situation and be done with it.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 8:05 pm 
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What prize is there to be gained in your anger?

Simply letting go of the ego-imagined prize,
would deal with it every time you run into it.

And as above, creativity/channeling it out/processing
is a good way.

Anger is an awakening feeling that what you are doing
is not helping. (try something else?) Anger doesn´t rise
from how people/things are but how they are not,
in relation to your value-world and rules.

Every upset is a rules upset. What rules do you have
and how they conflict w/situation(?)

Languaging and reframing words/metaphoras is also a powerful
way to process anger.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:04 pm 
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You allow logic to override emotion. :ugeek:

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 11:02 pm 
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For some reason I still hold onto mine, sometimes.

I either observe and allow it to be, or hold onto it and use it to push myself to be superior. Works good, for all areas except emotionally, and spiritually could fall into that catergory as well.

An Achilles heel, I've just come to accept it.

Kinda like the Sith in Star Wars ;)

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A truly powerful Man jealously guards his most precious resources; his independence and his ability to maneuver. True power isn’t controlling others, but the degree to which you control the course of your own life and your own choices. -Rational Male


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 8:57 pm 
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Morpheus wrote:
For some reason I still hold onto mine, sometimes.

I either observe and allow it to be, or hold onto it and use it to push myself to be superior. Works good, for all areas except emotionally, and spiritually could fall into that catergory as well.

An Achilles heel, I've just come to accept it.

Kinda like the Sith in Star Wars ;)
It's an incredibly powerful energy to have access to when it's appropriate.

Spirituality and emotional work is not about getting rid of 'anger' from my perspective. It is more about seeing that all the judgments and labels ('anger' being a label) are coming from you. That energy we try to lump into a category anger may arise in the moment as needed and you respond as needed. Then it's over. No holding on to before or after the fact is required.

It's when you can't ever allow yourself to express it that it gets stuck, and then you have the worst of both worlds.

If you think you have to hold on to it like it's this 'resource' inside of you it can get ugly. If you think of it as energy that just arises in the moment and is CREATED in the moment then you don't have to worry that you need to hold it to ever have power or that you can dry up this imaginary well inside of yourself, if you know what i mean.

In my experience the more true inner work/spiritual 'inquiry' or whatever practice you do, the GREATER range of emotion and expression you have and you let what needs to be there be there -- without labeling it or judging yourself for feeling it. Certainly not turning into a pacifist etc. who has cut off even more of himself by saying now i'm spiritual so i only feel/act peaceful all the time. Big time trap. Please don't let yourself think that you are some dark force or are can't be a jedi to stay in the metaphor just because you have access to a natural and powerful energy.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 9:18 pm 
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I've been putting my anger into writing lyrics really.. But there's hasn't been much anger lately, which is interesting, makes me think now...


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 11:56 pm 
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That's a great way to give it voice. Let's you feel and express it without trying to get rid of it conceptually. Plus maybe you get some good lyrics and don't hurt anyone or do something stupid in the process. Nice work.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 7:44 am 
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Flow83 wrote:
That's a great way to give it voice. Let's you feel and express it without trying to get rid of it conceptually. Plus maybe you get some good lyrics and don't hurt anyone or do something stupid in the process. Nice work.

funny thing is I always liked Eminem and I found out just recently that he's been doing it all the time too lol


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