Doing things like what Brent suggests is merely a band aid...and your mileage will vary depending how much in denial you are. If I'm bleeding out, I don't need a freaking band aid...I need STITCHES. Sure stitches hurt more and take longer to put in than slapping on a band aid, but in the long run, the wound will heal much more better and will be almost impervious to re-injury.
Good analogy Kidd.. However there is a step often missed even on the band aid approach, first you need to clean out the wound before slapping the band aid on. Otherwise you are effectively trying to seal in something which may cause problems later.
Checking the wound to see if there are any infectious agents in there and cleaning it up (even cutting some more possibly if it is a nasty wound) will help the healing so much more and make the wound heal quicker.
Doing both, cleaning and stitches is the optimum approach, not sure why people short change themselves when trying to heal themselves. Possibly they like to think they have dealt with the problem even when they have not. A Band aid never really helps anything it merely covers over it, I think of it similar as to brushing all the rubbish under the carpet.
Sure stitches hurt to put in, I would far rather have a few minutes of pain and know I have got a stitched up clean wound ready to heal, that I can expose to the air (which helps it heal better) than just slapping a band aid on in a few seconds (covering up the issue and possibly causing problems later).
What I see is a lot of men slapping band aids on dirty wounds.
But yeah, I sit in a quiet room or and just go through my head like a microfiche...I would visualize and identify situations that would make me feel a certain way, and then break them down to myself.
This is KEY
in my view, something I did a lot of myself.
Also being present enough to notice when these things come up in your day to day life and any triggers you may have been unaware of are fired. Then taking the time then and there to let yourself feel what you are feeling rather than dismiss it or cover it up, take notice of it and deal with it (possibly filing it away with a note to self to look at it at some later time alone also).
Purposefully putting yourself in situations YOU KNOW
trigger you, so that you can really feel those feelings and emotions, deal with them properly, get used to feeling them, seek out the root issues and causes.
Reliving situations that put you in certain emotional states and finding the root causes is a powerful tool, again people like the easy road rather than the effective one.
'I stopped fighting my inner demons, we're on the same side now' - peregrinus
He doesn't give (I may be wrong) soo much importance to letting go of your attachements (seeking approval, control, security). But I have only read a few of his podcasts and I don't know if he handles "letting go" more elsewhere.
This is the one thing that has always bothered me about Brent's stuff. Letting go, letting go of your attachments and facing your internal demons has a MAJOR effect, so much that I can see not doing them really holding people back despite other progress they have made, until they address them there is an 'elephant in the room'. Or as Kidd puts it, the band aid is on but it is only covering up the issue, it is not really dealing with it.
I have not delved too deeply into his stuff, as it always seemed a bit airy fairy to me, as though you should have all that stuff sorted BEFORE you get around to his stuff. I have not seen him deal with core issues at all, I may be wrong however I feel I am not.
To my mind a lot of the guys seeking help in this area would do best to focus on themselves first rather than women, sort yourself out and then you will automatically become more attractive. Then even simple improvements you make will have a massive effect.
Until you sort yourself out you are just sticking more and more band aids on infected wounds.
Should it surprise you when those wounds heal badly and cause even more problems?