Natural Freedom

There's a constant theme that's been suggested to me from many angles for the past few weeks.

I lack patience with myself, especially when it comes to progess in myself and learning anything.

So today at the gym I decided to give up expecting to be mr.badass every session, because I've always been skinny and weak and certain people took advantage of me because of that, the little kid inside is angry and wants to be physically strong to take on potential foes, everytime I can't lift anymore I have this thought "you're weak, that's not good enough, get better NOW!!" but if I'm stuck on that I'll lose focus on form and stagnate my progress.

Also I've always been naturally tense, I realised if I keep telling myself I'll be relaxed when I achieve a certain goal it'll never happen and neither may the goal because I'm always trying to get there, keyword trying...if I keep my mind in the future I'll miss out on what I gotta do now.

The mind's asking me "but what if this or that fucks up because you're not paying attention?", ironically being more present and not worrying about this shit would make me more aware so I'd know what to do, I have a feeling this is true.

Maybe this constant tension will go away, maybe things will flow better, this is what my gut's telling me to do now, so for today onwards I'm giving up this struggle to attain everything I want for myself, the mind/ego always wants something to fix, it focuses on the problem therefore perpetuating it, I'm not gonna worry about anything and just get to work, will get back in a week for an update.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

I know I may sound like broken record, but I have "giving all up" experiences lately as well..

At wednesday night before sleep, I thought about making a choice to choose only few girls that choose me.. I made a choice of not making the count of how many women I've slept with, to matter. Then I gave up wishing for a girl I would really like, to show up, since furthest I've went with those was conversation. I don't know how to get to them and I've been told I'm doing it wrong with hunting and not fishing instead.. It felt bad, because I felt there are no keepers for me, like they don't exist. But eventually I made a choice to give up and focus on other things in my life.

Next day I walked to the train station, to meet a friend there.. It was interesting, I felt very calm, a somehow more free inside, very hard to describe. But I think those night thoughts made difference. But I felt emotion-less also..

I've also made peace with my inner-beast who would fuck 24/7.. I don't know how to say it really, but he is now satisfied with not fucking any woman for a longtime.

My problem is lately, that I've been feeling more and more cold and emotionles.. It's sometimes practical thing, you don't get stressed so easily and you take rarely something personally.. But I don't think it's how it should be

Maybe you're going to an extreme, but I don't see anything wrong with a lack of emotions.

I think it's healthy to have some emotions but when you get strong feelings for a girl that's when it's over, I'm not learning that lesson the hard way again lol.

As for keepers, who cares really....I'm sure there are some good women out there for us, at least some who are somewhat good nor not completely shit, that's good enough for me, I don't need one.....hoping for this perfect girl to show up that doesn't exist is a waste of emotional and mental space.

I find myself caring less too when I remind myself of what will happen if I go the other direction but I've spent so much time there that it's taking some time to adjust, it's getting gradually easier to put my feet on the ground when I'm fucking up, being younger than me you're in a much better place to move forward dude.

You know what though there's nothing wrong with feeling less, we can't give them 'everything they want', at best they can only have little, the girl I'm seeing now's accepted that she won't get what she wants from me, if they find you worth sticking around knowing this, then that's even more solid proof for you that it's whatever value they see in you at the time that influences that decision and what they need takes priority over what they say they want (no matter how much they try to convince you otherwise), I'm fully aware that this is subject to change depending on certain factors so I'm not going to worry about this shit anymore because as Kidd told me before it's an eventuality, resisting the inevitable would only hurt more when it happens.

It doesn't mean you'll 'keep them forever' cuz they're not your property and it's their choice to stay or go but they'll have a good frame of reference for what's good for them for future guys, you're doing them and you a favor by not giving them what they want but what they need instead.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

when you're in the weight room don't think just fucking do the shit. Get a partner that's going to hype you up and encourage you to work harder on your final sets.

Hard work and dedication is the only way you'll get bigger fast. Don't overwork yourself though. Make sure you get the rest you need.

Don't stress about keepers, fellas...once you get your mind right, they will appear when they are supposed to...so take comfort in that and stay the course.

Mine appeared like a wild shiny pokemon...totally unexpected and the last thing on my mind...that's how it happens.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

This is PURE GOLD! Thanks, Sensei!

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I had always believed that a man could love only one woman. I have been badly misled. It is absolutely incredible to me that just a few hours ago, Dona Julia was the only woman who existed, and now, now, there is the magnificent Sultana Gulbeyaz.

You're right Kidd, as always.

I just had another major epiphany, something about the fickle nature of women and how that nulls any attachment towards them, being attached to them is being more feminine than they are, it's not about avoiding pain now it's about being in the right mindset, when you don't take shit from them they have more respect for you, like you said rubbing a puppy's nose in shit, I aways relish in that.

It's like another weight's been taken off my shoulders, I've let go of wanting a keeper, every girl until they show up anyways is practice.

Orxmiolc, see what your signature looks like when you replace the genders.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

I always thought that a woman could only love one man, I have been badly misled.

That's what you mean, amigo?

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I had always believed that a man could love only one woman. I have been badly misled. It is absolutely incredible to me that just a few hours ago, Dona Julia was the only woman who existed, and now, now, there is the magnificent Sultana Gulbeyaz.

Something this girl indirectly told me a couple days ago, a woman can only 'love' one man at a time, in terms of being completely devoted to him or whatever.

Maybe someone else can confirm this but I did see it somewhere in Esther's books.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

You mean Esther Hicks?

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I had always believed that a man could love only one woman. I have been badly misled. It is absolutely incredible to me that just a few hours ago, Dona Julia was the only woman who existed, and now, now, there is the magnificent Sultana Gulbeyaz.

Esther Vilar (See her two principal books : The Manipulated Man, The Polygamous Sex) You can find them on the internet if you want, or PM if you want

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"You can tell a lot about a person by how they react when someone dies." - Charlie Kirk

Just had a lightbulb moment...

Women trap men into insecurity and attachment, unless he's a golden goose or they don't have any better options at the time they'll keep feeding him bullshit until it's quttin time...they convince a guy that they want a nice guy who doesn't neglect them etc. but when you put your foot down they cling to you, females lie when you set yourself up for being lied to.

Women constantly probe for weakness in a man and exploit it when uncovered, whether they're conscious of it or not, no woman is exempt from this, not even the 'nice' ones, because it's in their nature.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

Screw the week plan, it's been a great couple days and I wanted to share what I've hit upon.

I let go of trying to control everything over the weekend, the self-doubt in my mind vanished for the most part.

I stopped giving a shit about these shitty looks women give me, now I'm gettin checked out like crazy and when our eyes meet I don't feel self-conscious.

This other woman at school is less subtle with me now that she knows about me and this girl, we briefly met for an assignment and I didn't stay long cuz I had to go, I had a feeling she wanted me to stay longer and was hoping for some kind of coffee date, and I don't even care.

But the most awesome thing I've learned these past few days is: not giving a fuck simply means not giving a fuck.

That's it, no need to try anything, just simply stop, I've been told this so many times but didn't fully grasp its simplicity until I took a step beyond and ignored the problems my mind wanted to fix, my ego fought for control and threatened me with the prospect of failure, whatever I ignore dissolves....my gut's been loud and clear since and I'm gradually letting go of my anger towards the matrix and my past, something's getting through to that kid inside.

Letting go created space within myself to allow my gut to expand its voice, I have a peaceful feeling that everything will be ok.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

simplicity before understanding is simplistic; simplicity after understanding is simple.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

I can feel this now, love it.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

Something Kidd told me awhile back: don't get hung up on what she says, watch her actions instead.

If her actions are favorable then I can let go of some of my pessimism, I always expect the worst but never consider anything good, my gut will let me know when something's up.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."