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PostPosted: Fri May 21, 2010 2:31 pm 
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A woman will always put herself into a position for you to "take the lead" if she is interested. I don't really call that approaching, per se...I call it "jockin". An example for contextual purposes.

I was at a nightclub back in '98 with my cousin (who is also my best student and partner in crime) in Las Vegas. I made sure we got there early to be able to have a seat. So, as we sit, chat and enjoy our drinks, the place starts filling up. Soon it is packed, and we are just having a ball looking at all of the women interacting with each other and how the guys are just acting a fool to get their attention.

Suddenly, I noticed this FINE mixed black chick with flowing hair and a body from hell who kept on passing by us, back and forth with her friend. What made it funnier was because their was always a guy behind her trying to get her attention. My brain didn't alert me to it until about the 3rd pass. Reason is because I always to my best to rule out coincidence versus interest. So, my brain starts rationalizing...if I could describe it, it would probably sound something like this:

She just passed me again!...Maybe she is checking someone else out...hmmmm, she does glance at me with every pass...naw, I'm are being presumptuous...here she comes again!...maybe she is checking out my cousin or someone else...naw, I think it IS me...okay, if she passes again, let's find out....

So, while my brain is processing the data, I'm also chopping it up with my cousin, who also concurs that she is either checking me out or him out. So I say, okay, next pass we'll see what the deal is, because if what I think is true, she WILL pass again.

Sure enough, in the next 5 minutes she was making her way through again. This time, I met her glance, which transformed it into a gaze. She was coming toward my left side. So, with no sudden movements, I raised my left hand, brought my fingers to my thumb like I was pinching something quickly about 3 times, and mouthed the words, "Come see." (it was loud, so speaking or yelling would have killed the "beckoning", I believed.)

This was all the green light this chick needed. She instantly made a beeline for me, plopped right into my lap, and started chatting away. I think my cousin's eyes almost fell out of his head. After I had given her my number and told her to enjoy her evening, he gave me the rundown of how everyone in the general vicinity was just in shock over the situation (because I was so focused on her, he kept an eye on the perimeter).

I said all of that to say this: Never second guess yourself...and trust your gut. If you think a girl is putting herself in a position for you to talk to her, 8 times out of 10 she probably is. Just make sure The Most Interesting Man in the World isn't sitting behind you first or something. :lol:

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PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 11:27 am 
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The Kidd!! wrote:
A woman will always put herself into a position for you to "take the lead" if she is interested.
The Kidd!! wrote:
I said all of that to say this: Never second guess yourself...and trust your gut. If you think a girl is putting herself in a position for you to talk to her, 8 times out of 10 she probably is.
Really nicely put Kidd.. Good example also, gave me some flashbacks to events :) Thanks for that

In the past before people kept slinging slang and all this terminology at me, I referred to these events in the following way:

Display: Woman/girl doing something to bring herself into your awareness - being in line of eyesight, doing something at a distance to draw attention while it not overtly being aimed at you. Think of a group of girls going all high energy, there is a usually a reason - they are trying to get someones attention. Someone who was not in your line of sight moving into it and staying there, going more high energy or coy(to draw attention). Volume rapidly going up. Someone repeatedly moving around to make sure they stay in your line of sight.
These can range from very subtle to gob smackingly overt, usually at a distance though.

Circling: Repeatedly passing by, close enough to your awareness radius that you end up recognising it, or it getting your attention. Will often do this at a distance, then gradually hone in distance wise until she has hit your awareness radius and knows that you noticed her in some way. She will be very aware of when she has, regardless of what you think, women seem to have a real awareness of this.

halfapproach: Putting herself close to you or in your way, so you have a real good chance of either running into her, talking to her if you want to. No real way you cannot notice her unless your head is on mars at the time. She has approached you without the opening bit, not usually face on - side on or half facing, real close to you.

Ballsoutapproach: Anything along the lines of appearing near you, walking up to you and facing you full on and plainly opening you.

As spaceman added women can be very subtle, quite a lot of times, it will be a subtle test of your interest. They want to draw your attention, see how you react to it before they go further. That way there is no risk of rejection or making a fool of themselves, they also do this just for fun and the excitement of it. Think of girls playing, hyping their emotional state and enjoying the feelings that this gives them.

Some do it for kicks, because they love the feelings and emotions it gives them, for validation and for pure interest. Your reaction to what they are doing tells them a lot about you as a man. It is a very subtle test of your character, the way you react to it is very telling. Just as if you do it as a man to a woman how she reacts can tell you a lot about her if you pay attention.

It is a sliding scale, on some level she is trying to get your attention and judge your interest to her, get a read on you and move the interaction forward. She is making herself available in some way, main difference being how much.

It ironically enough is also a really good test of your options. If you are a man used to scraps and not getting much you are more likely to jump at the slightest sign and react to it. If you are a man used to getting these signs and displays from women it will probably take more for you to notice her and react to it. The reaction you have is also very important to her on a gut level, are you observing it and calmly taking it in, or are you doubting it, or do you really just not notice even if she is right in your face. In this way she can judge how used to getting attention from women, how aware you are and how 'needy' you are for the attention. It really is quite clever if you think about it.

As Kidd said in his post, once the girl had seen how he reacted and given how she was behaving, when she got the green light from him (I have noticed you and reacted and told you non verbally that I am open to you approaching) she felt safe in approaching him and being quite physical. She relaxed because of what she had seen before she even got close to him, she had read a lot from him before this point because of the way he had responded and reacted throughout the whole 'dance'

Some need to get more of a read on you first before they either feel comfortable doing it or feel they are not making a big mistake with you and have read you totally wrong. Some will just be balls out and walk up to you as they have seen enough from watching you from beyond your awareness radius and are sure of what they have seen, not needing confirmation or any kind of evaluation before approaching.


Vegano: sorry to have slightly hi-jacked your thread, I feel this is a worthwhile discussion with a real world scenario that you presented.

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PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 4:24 pm 
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This is a separate topic for the very valuable answers in my "journey to indifference" thread.

I thought that those great posts deserve an own thread, for more attention.


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PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 10:24 pm 
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peregrinus wrote:

Circling: Repeatedly passing by, close enough to your awareness radius that you end up recognising it, or it getting your attention. Will often do this at a distance, then gradually hone in distance wise until she has hit your awareness radius and knows that you noticed her in some way. She will be very aware of when she has, regardless of what you think, women seem to have a real awareness of this.
You're right, they are really aware of this.

They know when you get that flash through your chest or whatever bodily reaction and your attention is subconsciously on them when they show up, when your system trips and you have to try and concentrate on your business because you were just interrupted by their presence, the presence of an attractive female.

So from that I guess they can project into the future how you'd be in the bedroom situation, that's what I think anyways I might be wrong.

Thinking about this shit though make me chuckle.

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PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 2:23 am 
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The Kidd!! wrote:
I said all of that to say this: Never second guess yourself...and trust your gut. If you think a girl is putting herself in a position for you to talk to her, 8 times out of 10 she probably is. Just make sure The Most Interesting Man in the World isn't sitting behind you first or something. :lol:

I agree, but I'm the most Interesting Man in the World so I got nothing to worry about. :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 4:45 pm 
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I wanted to bring this topic back to life, because - well - it's phenomenal

But also had a question that maybe takes this a little deeper.

Kidd said:
Quote:
I said all of that to say this: Never second guess yourself...and trust your gut. If you think a girl is putting herself in a position for you to talk to her, 8 times out of 10 she probably is. Just make sure The Most Interesting Man in the World isn't sitting behind you first or something.
Let me just ask if you guys can expound on the following a little more.

I started noticing a while ago a strong, distinguishable gut feeling while out, that certain girls were attracted and interested in me. Hard to describe, hence it being the phrase “gut feeling”, but it’s also small part feeling of me being strangely more attracted to them than others in the area.

The weird thing I noticed though, is these girls totally giving what on the surface seem to be signs of disinterest. Avoiding eye contact, not giving me the time of day, rolling eyes if inadvertent eye contact is made, acting like I don’t exist, etc. But the feeling was still there.

After noticing this happening every now and then, I thought what the hell, let’s see what happens. So I would wait for an opening to where it seemed like it just naturally, yet randomly happened and opened them. (maybe while "just happening to be ordering a drink next to them" kind of thing - subtle girl-tactic type stuff 8-) )

To my astonishment, they lit up like a lightbulb and we either had simply an awesome conversation or a couple times it went further.

Total sings of disinterest, yet the feeling, and wah-lah. My guess is it's them being compared to a shy guy and how he would act around a beautiful woman.

Anyone have any insight?


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 8:10 pm 
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Quote:
Total sings of disinterest, yet the feeling, and wah-lah. My guess is it's them being compared to a shy guy and how he would act around a beautiful woman.
Eureka. 8-)

Plus, you listed somewhat obvious signs...because eye contact and most everything else you referenced is obvious to me...which is why I focus so intently on subtlety. Women have mean poker faces...if you can't read subtlety you'll never be able to bluff them out. What you are feeling is your GUT REACTING to the subconscious signs and symptoms of jocking that the women are putting out but that you consciously have yet to have learned how to identify. Next time your gut goes off, LOOK CLOSELY. ;)

Bottom line is: Trust your gut, pay attention and look for the truth behind the truth. A woman may not even glance at me ONCE...but if every time she passes me she has to squeeze by where her ass is grazing my wrist or leg and there was enough space on either side of me to drive a tractor trailer through...well, I'm gonna start thinking that something's up. 8-)

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 8:28 pm 
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Haha, ya :ugeek:

Good point, when i get that feeling gotta really observer deeply and subtly what else is going on. Nice!!

Another one that happens a ton is, standing or sitting at the bar, watching the game or talking to a friend.

Two girls will come stand in the space next to me, never look, make eye contact, or acknowledge me, and the one with her back to me will slowly inch closer until her ass is literally against my arm or me, plant there, and continue talking to her friend like nothing is going on, maybe adding little bumps when she laughs hard at something her friend says, …

How’s it going girls 8-)

edit: spelling


Last edited by StephenP on Fri Jun 03, 2011 8:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 8:37 pm 
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Quote:
Two girls will come stand in the space next to me, never look, make eye contact, or acknowledge me, and the one with her back to me will slowly inch closer until her ass is literally against my arm or me, plant there, and continue talking to her friend like nothing is going on, maybe adding little bumps when she laughs hard at something her friend says, …
Classic example...NOTHING IS A COINCIDENCE. 8-)

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 5:14 pm 
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The Kidd!! wrote:
Women have mean poker faces...if you can't read subtlety you'll never be able to bluff them out.
wait a minute...
so you are saying that some women will have mean poker faces, won't look at you, won't make eye contact with you or 'act like they don't acknowledge you'
and underneath all that they still want you\feel some attraction for you?

I'm a bit confused :roll:

you wrote:
Quote:
A woman may not even glance at me ONCE...but if every time she passes me she has to squeeze by where her ass is grazing my wrist or leg and there was enough space on either side of me to drive a tractor trailer through...well, I'm gonna start thinking that something's up.
can you give another example of something like this please :geek:
something that happened to you in the past

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 7:06 pm 
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were have you been all this time sniper


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 8:01 pm 
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StephenP wrote:
My guess is it's them being compared to a shy guy and how he would act around a beautiful woman.
BINGO!
The Kidd!! wrote:
A woman may not even glance at me ONCE...but if every time she passes me she has to squeeze by where her ass is grazing my wrist or leg and there was enough space on either side of me to drive a tractor trailer through...well, I'm gonna start thinking that something's up. 8-)
Of course something is up, women are very aware of their space. Also as you say, nothing is a co-incidence.

And

There is an interesting thing to do with this.

Quite often I have women stand behind me and subtly (LOL) back into me, gently at first, real light contact, testing - feeling me out, then maintain contact.
It may only be a very small area of contact to begin with.

When I notice them doing this to other men, I see one of two things:
A) The man will move forward, breaking the contact, as he is uncomfortable with it (for whatever reason).
B) The man will PUSH into her, forcing her to break the contact.

I tend to just let them do it, occasionally moving into them by small amounts in a relaxed way. They also do the same to me.

It is a way for her to establish physical contact with you.. From this you both learn something.

She learns how relaxed you are, as she is feeling your body and will pick up any tension or nerves in you.
You gain the same thing from her.

You also both get to play with the feeling, get to feel the other and their state at that moment..

It is interesting to observe the different reactions in women when this takes place, without ever looking at them at all.

Some women have done this for over an hour, us playing back and forth, her leaning full body onto my back, then us both dancing with each other in a way that is so subtle that others around you do not notice.

However when you both turn around, you both know it is on.

Feeling a stranger laugh while talking to her friends, while she is moulded to your back is an interesting sensation, if she is tense or nervous you will feel it instantly, if she is relaxed it will be so obvious.

Observation

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 10:05 pm 
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rant wrote:
were have you been all this time sniper
I guess I was looking more for the obvious sign- which I seemed to get a lot of...
but now I'll go even deeper with my observations 8-)

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2015 8:42 am 
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bump

A thread that came to mind as I read this one: "I want to meet you, I have been watching you and want to spend time with you"

-
peregrinus wrote:
Quite often I have women stand behind me and subtly (LOL) back into me, gently at first, real light contact, testing - feeling me out, then maintain contact. It may only be a very small area of contact to begin with.
About a month ago, I was having drinks with an old co-worker and a woman was doing the same to me. Once I realized it wasn't an 'accident'...this thread came to mind, lol.

We ended up spending the remainder of the night with them. And at one point the woman's friend said something along the lines of, "Yeah, my friends was bumping into you softly to get your attention and I bet you didn't know that!".

I had to hide the BIG smile I felt in that moment! :lol:

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2015 9:42 am 
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bliss wrote:
About a month ago, I was having drinks with an old co-worker and a woman was doing the same to me. Once I realized it wasn't an 'accident'...this thread came to mind, lol.

We ended up spending the remainder of the night with them. And at one point the woman's friend said something along the lines of, "Yeah, my friends was bumping into you softly to get your attention and I bet you didn't know that!".

I had to hide the BIG smile I felt in that moment! :lol:
:D

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2015 12:42 pm 
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Also,
Gym Time by The Kidd!!

http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... uch#p22697

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 09, 2015 2:12 pm 
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The best is when your in a crowded party and they grab your hand as they're walking by but don't stop so you can doing anything lol,.

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