Natural Freedom

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 02, 2022 5:01 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jul 10, 2011 6:00 pm
Posts: 1665
What’s Stopping You?

The aim of this worksheet is to clarify your own internal barriers to change—to identify what holds you back from stepping out of your comfort zone, trying new things, facing your fears, tackling your big challenges, pursuing your goals, practicing new skills, taking action to solve problems, and so on.

There are two ways to fill out this worksheet. One option is to do it for a specific domain of life (e.g., work, education, friends, partner, parenting, spirituality, hobbies, health) or a specific behavior you want to start doing (e.g., exercising, cooking, playing with your kids, studying). The other option is to do it as a broad overview of life in general.

What reasons does your mind come up with for why you can’t, shouldn’t, or shouldn’t even have to take action? What bad things does it tell you will happen if you do take action? Please write them below.

The antidote: If you get hooked by these thoughts, then you probably won’t take action. So use your unhooking skills. You can’t stop your mind from saying these things, but you can unhook from them.

Personal growth and meaningful change means stepping out of your comfort zone. This inevitably brings up discomfort. And if you aren’t willing to make room for that discomfort, you won’t do the things that really matter to you. Please write below all the difficult thoughts, feelings, sensations, emotions, memories, and urges you are unwilling to have.

The antidote: Use your “expansion” skills; practice opening up and making room for your discomfort. Before you set out to do the challenging things that matter to you, think ahead: What sort of discomfort is likely, and are you willing to make room for it?

What values are you ignoring, neglecting, forgetting, leaving behind, or failing to act on when you opt out of doing these important things?

The antidote: Connect with your values. Why bother to do this challenging stuff if it’s not important? If it is important, then connect with what makes it meaningful. What values will you be living with every step you take?

On a scale of 0–10, how realistic do your goals seem to you? (10 = totally realistic, I’ll definitely do it, no matter what. 0 = completely unrealistic, I’ll never do it.) If your goals seem less than a 7, it’s doubtful you will follow through. Are your goals excessive? Are you trying to do too much? Trying to do it too quickly? Trying to do it perfectly? Are you trying to do things for which you lack the resources (such as time, money, energy, health, social support, or necessary skills)? Please write down your goals below, and scale them all 0–10 in terms of how realistic they seem.

The antidote: Set more realistic goals. Make them smaller, simpler, easier, matched to your resources, until you can score at least a 7 in terms of how realistic they are.

"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

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