Natural Freedom

It's been awhile guys, I've been all kinds of busy but wanted to share some recent experiences.

I currently have a group of friends whom I have sex with. They all know I'm sleeping with the others and I've been upfront and honest from the start. One of them tried to get me to end it with the rest and be exclusive with her. I stuck to my guns and without apology remained firm on where I stand. I was really expecting her to bounce but she's still here, having conceded that she is struggling with sharing me but ultimately dealing with it.

Having multiple women in rotation has taught me a few things:

-There will eventually be varying degrees of feels on their end. I've already had a situation where one got territorial but it all worked out in the end.

-Me time is important, this situation really made me appreciate and value my own space. I've had more time to myself lately which is most welcome, I get more sleep.

-I have a greater view of the inevitable, like who's interested and that it will eventually play out in the ideal conditions. Every time it happens it still kinda blows my mind.

-If the right girl came along I'd happily go exclusive. I don't care if this situation is only temporary or could go on forever, but something tells me I'll probably be swinging for awhile.

More insights to come in due time.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

Bravo on your journey and the lessons it will teach you.

Bravo also for keeping your eyes open and learning from it.

Look forward to further distillations of your experiences and moments of enlightenment.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Proper

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Very interesting read Alchemist.

I'm also interested in how you met them, since when, how did your stable grow over time etc.. etc..

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Where men are forbidden to honour a king, they honor millionaires, athletes, or film stars instead; even famous prostitutes or gangsters. For spiritual nature, like bodily nature, will be served; deny it food and it will gobble poison. C. S. Lewis

Just popping in to add a note.

As great as it is to be fulfilling my high school fantasy, there's an intimacy missing that you can only get from one person you really connect with.

I had such a connection this summer, she was basically Stifler's mom. We grew close over the past few months and then things happened, we were both just having the most amazing sex ever, exploring new dimensions of that, really mind blowing stuff for both of us, through me she discovered new things about her body, it was nuts.

Anyways it was on/off and whenever there was sign of trouble I just fucked someone else almost immediately. So she ended it finally (for real this time I think) and I just slipped into someone else a few hours later cuz I thought it would make me feel better but it didn't help.

I know the part I had to play in that, not going in 100% because of some cynicism I still reserve. I just had a depressing feeling today about being lonely, I don't know what that means but I can't fuck my way out of it.

_________________
"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

I'll deliberate on that soon, it was a crazy period which really took my already growing confidence boost.

_________________
"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

Congrats on the progress over the years that led you to this! It's not the part about seeing multiple women, but everything else.

I think about this sometimes. Do I really want to sleep with multiple women? Or am I just looking for something else. Recently I dug deeper and realized I really want the recognition, respect, etc of it all. Which is really all b.s.

The real mind-blowing part was seeing I put value in women that really isn't there. (you have a hot girlfriend - you're cool).

I've been brainstorming more about how I would enjoy my life if I never saw another women.

If it was me. I would take it as a sign I need to become more of my own best friend.

Part I

So here is how this began, these will be in separate posts as there's alot to digest.

A couple years ago I had split up with my girlfriend at the time, we were not together for that long but she was the first person I felt really happy with. When she went on vacation it felt like she had been gone forever. When I saw her again I knelt before her, she was the most beautiful thing on earth. Not long after that she ended it with me because we were not on the same trajectory. I wasn't in a hurry to settle down and she needed me to shit or get off the pot. We're still very good friends.

A couple months later I met a customer at work, just friendly chats to begin with then we start flirting. She asked for my number and I went to hers that night. We ended up together for a few months on and off. Ultimately it came down to me not providing the emotional intimacy she needed and being indifferent whenever she would leave. The breakup was not amicable but she reached out and we're still very good friends and very much an important part of each others' lives. She's a champion for me and has supported me and propped me up in my endeavors and getting my shit together.

I felt at peace with being alone at the time. I was free of the drama of a relationship and just focusing on myself, and then a couple months later I caught up with a friend of mine (we were seeing each other briefly after my really bad breakup, the 'fuck it' one from another thread). She ended up at mine that night, unexpected, before that I'd accepted that sex was off the cards and that we'd just be friends.

Around that time my ex (last relationship above) came over to hang out and I seduced her into bed. She had a boyfriend at the time but I did it just to see if I could.

Not long after that I got with another customer at work, this time it was just a fuckbuddy situation for a couple months. With her I had a 3-some with my buddy and my first 4some with spectators. She stopped sleeping with me after awhile, she later told me it was because we didn't have an emotional connection, which was fair enough.

During that time I was fucking 3 girls in rotation and another one just a one-off but she later returned (that will be in part II), the girl above being one of them. 2 of them were friends and they all knew each other, sometimes we all hung out for drinks. I even had them all over once and there was some competitiveness . In that period I was completely open and honest about where I stood and it felt natural. I was enjoying the shit out of it too because it made up for my shitty personal and professional life at the time.

I went back to my hometown for vacation and had a couple dates whilst I was there with the most attractive and intelligent girl I had been with yet, we spent my last night at a hotel. For me that was serendipitous, it put all those years of growing up there with anguish about sex behind me.

I was effectively trying to fuck my way out of chaos. I was bitter and angry and had a whole lot of hate-fucking to get out of my system. Ultimately though it felt empty and a loneliness was creeping in every time I spent the night alone.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

Oh wow. Thank you very much for this much details.

Weirdly, one of my best friend was having the same thing for a couple of months too.

And, that's why your look back at yourself hits what was my understanding of his situation too.

"Fuck my way out of chaos". I'll send it this phrase. I'm sure it'll hit home

I'm very much looking forward to Part 2. I'm pretty sure it goes crescendo

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Where men are forbidden to honour a king, they honor millionaires, athletes, or film stars instead; even famous prostitutes or gangsters. For spiritual nature, like bodily nature, will be served; deny it food and it will gobble poison. C. S. Lewis

Part II coming soon. The last couple years have been life-affirming.

_________________
"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

Part II: 'Situationships'

At the peak of that period, I met someone and we became emotionally invested in each other. But she lived in another country and was separated from her husband and going through the process of divorce (she also had two grown kids). We travelled together and enjoyed the honeymoon period until Covid which kept us at a distance. When things eased up we saw more of each other every few months,

On one of my last trips in her country she told me I could sleep with other women, as long as I used protection. That surprised me as I never brought it up, but unbeknownst to her I was already sleeping with a handful of other women She never once asked me if I was, so I never brought it up.

In hindsight was a rebound. As great as hindsight can be, I'm no less jaded now than I was when she ended it. When I got the text from her that we needed to talk, I knew it was over so we arranged to talk the following day and I immediately called my friend over for sex, which didn't make me feel any better but at least I got something out of my system.

During the call she said she had missed out on other opportunities with men and it frustrated her, but she still wanted me in her life and proposed an open relationship. Initially I agreed to it but quickly realised it was not gonna work out. We talked for a couple more weeks and my responses were short and cold. Eventually she wanted to have one last talk for closure and I shut that down.

I continued seeing my friend on and off for the next couple years. She'd date a guy and come back when it doesn't work out every 3 to 6 months. She clung unto the idea that she could change my mind and make me a stay at home husband, which I definitely did not want and made it clear. I think I pissed her off for good now but time will tell. I'm in the longest dry period in years now by my standards, which I think is needed because I need solitude and no distraction as I carry out my current goals.

So reflecting on that period, in spite of the craziness of these women, I would say it was the best for me because of how little effort it took (as it should be) not that I was inclined to make that much effort anyways. I did not derive any sort of ego boost from having a revolving door of women, as some guys would purport (that's for another thread and some of the jealousy I had from other men was nuts). I just went with it, accepted what was coming my way and loved it.

Being with multiple women at the same time is what works for me. Monogamy is not for me. I tried enough times and it just does not fucking work.

Not for me anyway.

_________________
"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."