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PostPosted: Tue Sep 26, 2023 12:11 pm 
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A Divorce Attorney's Thoughts On Love and Marriage - James Sexton
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interview and portrait of James Sexton, a divorce attorney in New York City.

His books: How To Stay In Love:Practical Advice From An Unexpected Source and If You’re In My Office It’s Already Too Late:A Divorce Lawyer’s Guide To Staying Together
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5z8-9Op2nM

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 28, 2023 11:06 am 
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Oh wow.
This was an amazing hour.
Thanks for the rec. :ugeek:
Recommended watching for sure.

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"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2023 9:59 pm 
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I actually had a friend send this to me and tell me that I had taught him all that.

I was actually amazed by how much of his views I had espoused.

The pessimism though…..it’s the way it goes. It’s just the way it goes.

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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2024 12:26 pm 
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MGyiqVjdKI

James Sexton is America's top divorce lawyer, and bestselling author of romantic advice books 'How to Stay in Love' and 'If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late'.

Official timetable :
00:00 Intro
02:02 I Am A Divorce Lawyer
02:37 How Many People Divorce
08:51 The Dynamics Between Gold Diggers And Millionaires
12:33 What's Prenups? And The Legalities Behind Marriage!
17:14 The Perfect Prenup
18:56 Disagreements Over Prenups
26:48 Are Prenups Legal?
28:34 The Most Shocking Prenup (Don't Get Fat)
29:59 Appearance As A Measure Of Love In A Relationship
32:33 Prenups With Fidelity & Cheating Clauses
37:30 Are Prenups On The Rise?
39:39 Are People Fake Happy?
44:18 Stop Comparing Your Relationships To Others
50:44 How To Prevent Divorce
55:25 "Happy Wife, Happy Life"
01:02:59 Is Sex The Biggest Cause Of Divorce?
01:07:53 Fixing The Marriage
01:09:36 Who Cheats More?
01:10:02 Who Wants More Sex?
01:13:05 Most Shocking Deceit
01:14:18 Why Husbands Like To Sleep With The Nannies
01:16:36 Killing To Get Out Of A Relationship
01:22:17 Have You Ever Cried?
01:24:29 Love And Loss
01:37:01 Seeing Relationships As Chapters
01:40:55 Have We Been Sold An Idyllic Lie?
01:44:34 Is Money The Biggest Cause Of Divorce?
01:48:59 Can You Hide Money?
01:50:16 You Are Liable For Debts
01:51:49 Winning The Lottery And Keeping Quiet
01:53:20 LGBT Rights & Divorces
01:59:19 Are Open Relationships The Answer?
02:02:00 Is Cheating Okay?
02:05:44 Should We Get Married?
02:13:14 Last Guest Question
Quote:
AI made timetable and summary

Here are 8 key ideas from the video summary:

- ⚖️ Common reasons for divorce: Sex is a major factor, but not the only one.
- ️️ Marriage misconceptions: Most couples lack understanding about marriage realities.
- ⚡️️ Financial issues in divorce: Money disputes are a controversial cause of divorce.
- ⚖️ True chances of needing a divorce lawyer: Statistic: Over 50% of marriages end in divorce (considering those who consult a lawyer).
- Redefining marriage failure: Includes staying together unhappily or for external reasons (e.g., finances, kids).
- High remarriage rate after divorce: This statistic suggests a strong human desire for marriage despite its challenges.
- ❓ Questioning the purpose of marriage: James questions the assumed purpose of marriage.
- Repeat Marriages and Lack of Learned Lessons: James Sexton discusses the common belief that remarriages are different from failed first marriages.

Here are 8 key ideas from the video summary:

- Open communication about finances: Prenuptial agreements can be a tool to facilitate such conversations around finances [21:45].
- Strengthening a marriage: James Sexton reframes prenuptial agreements as a way to strengthen a marriage [24:01].
- Communication vs. Legal aspects: James Sexton acknowledges the difficulty in separating the legal aspects of prenuptial agreements from the emotional aspects [25:58].
- Enforceable prenuptial agreements: James Sexton clarifies that prenuptial agreements are legally binding contracts, as long as they are entered into willingly and without fraud or duress [28:28].
- Lawyer's perspective on prenuptial agreements: James Sexton describes a lawyer's perspective on prenuptial agreements, focusing on the legal enforceability rather than the emotional aspects [30:47].
- Fidelity clauses: James Sexton introduces the concept of Fidelity Clauses in prenuptial agreements and postnuptial agreements [32:37].
- Emotional fallout of infidelity: James Sexton highlights the emotional complexities of infidelity [34:43].
- Prenuptial agreements and generational shift: James Sexton observes a significant increase in the use of prenuptial agreements among couples in their 20s and 30s [37:19].

- Mask of wealth: Public perception of wealth may not reflect reality [41:25].
- Unrealistic standards: Social media can lead to feelings of inadequacy [43:31].
- Intimacy and communication: Sex is important in romantic relationships [45:10].
- Open communication for a healthy marriage: Communication is key to maintaining a happy marriage [47:40].
- Love and facing challenges together: Romantic partnerships offer emotional support [49:35].
- Thoughtful gestures and appreciation: Small acts of affection can strengthen relationships [51:08].
- Respect and appreciation: Avoid negativity and cultivate a positive dynamic with your partner [54:08].
- Communication and shared values: Prioritize communication to address issues before they escalate [56:16].

- Honesty, respect, and timing: When addressing sensitive topics in relationships [01:00:14].
- Open communication and understanding: It's important to have open communication in relationships [01:02:11].
- Intimacy and connection: Sex is a defining feature of romantic relationships [01:04:17].
- Intimacy and communication: A decline in sexual intimacy can indicate problems in a relationship [01:06:35].
- Career shift and specialization: James Sexton discusses his career shift from marriage counselor to high conflict divorce lawyer [01:08:53].
- Complexity and context: Infidelity is often a symptom of underlying problems, not the sole cause of divorce [01:11:15].
- Deception and complexity in divorce: James Sexton shares examples of complex marital deception [01:13:07].
- Advice for wives and self-care: James Sexton offers advice for wives to maintain their identity within a marriage [01:15:08].

- Serial decisions and bad choices: Small bad decisions can lead to bigger problems later [01:17:13].
- Difficult situations in divorce: Divorce can be emotionally difficult and unpredictable, with some clients being violent [01:19:36].
- Emotional impact on lawyers: Divorce lawyers experience emotional weight from their work [01:22:06].
- Cherishing relationships: Appreciate loved ones in the present because life is temporary [01:24:11].
- Appreciate love in the present moment: Love is powerful but fragile, so cherish it now [01:26:41].
- Paradox of love and loss: Love comes with inevitable pain, but it's worth the risk [01:31:36].
- Love is brave: Love requires courage because loss is inevitable, but the joy outweighs the pain [01:33:54].
- New chapter on love: People can have multiple fulfilling relationships throughout their lives [01:37:17].

- Money and Power: Money issues in relationships are complex and can be tied to power struggles [01:44:45].
- ‍を失業 Job Loss for Men: Job loss can negatively impact men emotionally and damage their relationships [01:46:58].
- ️‍♀️ Hiding Assets: People sometimes try to hide assets during a divorce, but courts have measures to prevent this [01:48:51].
- ⚖️ Debt and Misconceptions: Dividing assets in divorce is complex, and debt can significantly reduce the marital estate [01:50:43].
- ✅ LGBT Divorce: LGBT divorces share similarities with heterosexual divorces but may have unique perspectives on tradition [01:53:14].
- ✨ LGBT Relationships: LGBT relationships have historically challenged traditional norms, and couples may create their own structures [01:55:34].
- LGBT Marriage Equality: Marriage equality may have shifted the focus for some LGBT couples from commitment to future planning [01:57:24].
- Open Relationships: The speaker questions the long-term success of non-monogamy but acknowledges bias in his perspective [01:59:28].

- Rethinking Monogamy: Societal acceptance of infidelity and the prevalence throughout history challenges monogamy as the default [02:04:03].
- Should We Get Married: Questions the societal assumption that everyone should get married [02:05:38].
- Marriage as a Solution: Proposes marriage should address a specific problem, not be the default option [02:06:06].
- Reasons for Marriage: Discusses common reasons for getting married, including religious beliefs [02:06:45].
- Love and Marriage: Expresses skepticism about the inherent connection between love and marriage [02:08:09].
- Marriage as Symbol: Views marriage as a symbolic representation of a loving relationship, but not essential for it to exist [02:08:24].
- Positive Aspects of Marriage: Marriage as a public declaration of commitment and love [02:08:49].

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler


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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2024 6:28 pm 
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The best lifestyle choice is to stay single.
The second best lifestyle choice is to find a good, traditional woman and stay single.

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