When Patrice was teaching me his theory on men wanting to be alone, but not by themselves, he went back to the idea of entitlement and possessiveness.
Eventually, if you leave him alone long enough, he will find you and want to accommodate your needs to be heard, held or whatever it is you desire.
But just like in the case of the picture of his ex on the mirror, you are not entitled to his time and space and have to respectfully wait for it.
You have to inspire the desire in him to accommodate your needs, not force it.
People sometimes think if they deny the idea that they need their space, that’s love: forcing themselves to deny their basic human need.
That is not love. Love is being empathic to and understanding of your mate. Love is respect for your mate as a person, not a possession.
Love is allowing for space without combativeness, a nasty attitude, or unnecessary assumptions.
You only build resentment denying yourself or your mate their basic needs, so why would you want to do that?
Why build resentment so that even the minimum amount of time spent together is miserable, as opposed to allowing for space and missing each other so that you can enjoy each other when your desire to occupy each other’s time and space coincides?
With time and understanding of what the other’s needs are, eventually, the respect and love you have for one another will help mesh the flow of shared time and space into a perfect rhythm.
Reading this book again, in French.
Great quote above.