When I was 17 I read the Game. It was exciting and offered this solution to something so insoluble to me - why was it that even though a girl could like me, I just didn't know what to do - and the more I tried to not mess it up, the more that things unravelled.
So when I found the book- I read through it like a dirty secret. I figured all I had to do was practice and it would be copacetic. It was a perspective that offered easy answers, and made everything controllable: connection could be manufactured if you just did xyz.
It never really worked for me. I knew if anything it was making the problem worse - layering on some sort of persona, and underneath there was no real confidence. I had much better relationships before
reading that nonsense.
I remember I was around 19.. about to go travelling. David X and Shark (Ranko Magami - who later went right off the deep end) were the only two who seemed to see the problem. What was the point of any of it, if you were just trying to fake who you are?! David was like a politically incorrect uncle who truly didn't give a shit and told it to you straight. He had a story about being made an honoury member of the Hell's Angels - and well my dad was a Hell's Angel and i'd grown up in one of those club houses - so there was something about him, and his attitude that I admired and wanted to emulate. Something he said that always stayed with me: "the toughest thing you can do - is to look anybody in the eyes and tell them the truth".
Was sad to see this, and yet it comes to everyone. From what I saw of him, he seemed to have really lived his time. A couple of other things he said that come to mind: "honesty is the true north principle" and "he who loves least controls the relationship" (I read it now as least attached). He had a great story about having an entitled date, and asking her to jump out and check the back tire - before driving off
I think he had some real wisdom - and none of it was esoteric or creepy. Just plain old, be yourself, value yourself, know what you want in life, and go for it. Just be honest, respectful, and value trust.
If it weren't for his great sense of humour and colourful language he'd just be really wholesome
RIP David Rosenbaum - you were a good influence on the young me - even if I turned honesty into a rule at times, to hilarious results. <3