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 Post subject: Love and Loss
PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 9:53 pm 
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Quote:
Love: An emotional response to a logical subconscious assessment of a target that shows most if not all of the qualities that are desirable in a mate from the observer's perspective.
Kidd!!, this definition really changed my outlook on life and opened my eyes to the truth what's really going on between two people.

How would you define/explain the feeling of a 'broken heart' or the feeling of ending a relationship?

Thanks


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 Post subject: Re: Love and Loss
PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 10:38 pm 
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I know this is directed at Kidd but I'd like to take a stab at it.

You were attracted to that person, and got in a relationship with them, because they gave you value. When the relationship is over, you have lost that value. It is a process of grief because you lost something in your life that you valued. When you "have' that person's value, you feel love because you are the recipient of it. When you don't "have" it, you feel sad because you lost it.

From an evolutionary perspective: it conditions you not to end mating relationships. Just like when you touch a hot stove, and your body's pain response teaches you not to touch hot stoves in the future. The pain of sadness that you feel teaches you to continue mating relationships in the future.

Learning not to touch hot things will protect you from harm, which in the end, will make you more likely to survive and reproduce. Not ending a mating relationship will also make you more likely to reproduce, obviously, because you and your mate will stay together to raise offspring.


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 Post subject: Re: Love and Loss
PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 11:16 pm 
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Sparks wrote:
I know this is directed at Kidd but I'd like to take a stab at it.

You were attracted to that person, and got in a relationship with them, because they gave you value. When the relationship is over, you have lost that value. It is a process of grief because you lost something in your life that you valued. When you "have' that person's value, you feel love because you are the recipient of it. When you don't "have" it, you feel sad because you lost it.

From an evolutionary perspective: it conditions you not to end mating relationships. Just like when you touch a hot stove, and your body's pain response teaches you not to touch hot stoves in the future. The pain of sadness that you feel teaches you to continue mating relationships in the future.

Learning not to touch hot things will protect you from harm, which in the end, will make you more likely to survive and reproduce. Not ending a mating relationship will also make you more likely to reproduce, obviously, because you and your mate will stay together to raise offspring.
:shock:

Wow...you guys coming out of left field with these low ass post counts (9 as of this posting) is just blowing me AWAY! Well done! :ugeek:

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:


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 Post subject: Re: Love and Loss
PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 11:43 pm 
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For many it is not just qualities they 'value' - but parts of themselves they have cut off and now believe can only be gotten from a woman/man.

When they enter the relationship they now have "permission" to feel approved of, worthy, a real man, whatever. They attribute this to relationship itself, that the woman *gives* this to them rather than emphasizes something already within them.

Thus lines like "you complete me" (puke)

This makes the 'hearbreak' far deeper than just the loss of something you enjoy, but literally feel like part of you has died because you have attributed it to something outside of yourself, which is now gone.

Feeling and knowing you are complete does not lead to sitting on your ass, nothing being created, or no relationships. Quite the opposite. Red must be completely red and blue completely blue to make purple.

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 Post subject: Re: Love and Loss
PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 12:43 am 
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Sparks :D

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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 Post subject: Re: Love and Loss
PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 1:50 am 
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Flow83 wrote:
For many it is not just qualities they 'value' - but parts of themselves they have cut off and now believe can only be gotten from a woman/man.

When they enter the relationship they now have "permission" to feel approved of, worthy, a real man, whatever. They attribute this to relationship itself, that the woman *gives* this to them rather than emphasizes something already within them.

Thus lines like "you complete me" (puke)

This makes the 'hearbreak' far deeper than just the loss of something you enjoy, but literally feel like part of you has died because you have attributed it to something outside of yourself, which is now gone.

Feeling and knowing you are complete does not lead to sitting on your ass, nothing being created, or no relationships. Quite the opposite. Red must be completely red and blue completely blue to make purple.
I can totally relate and see this with the inner work that I'm doing and observing (myself).

I also remember that Star_Above said something like:
a man who needs a woman to give him praise, connection, bond and all that other stuff means that he is not his own best friend...

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"


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 Post subject: Re: Love and Loss
PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:37 pm 
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Posts: 760
almost every interaction goes between love an loss, the thing is to realize that there is no we, it is only you, not a an edgy comment,it is realizing you as the one.


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 Post subject: Re: Love and Loss
PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 11:49 am 
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StephenP wrote:


How would you define/explain the feeling of a 'broken heart' or the feeling of ending a relationship?

Thanks
A LABEL FAILURE. 8-)

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♫♫♩♫‿◦


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 Post subject: Re: Love and Loss
PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 2:17 am 
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Jared wrote:
StephenP wrote:


How would you define/explain the feeling of a 'broken heart' or the feeling of ending a relationship?

Thanks
A LABEL FAILURE. 8-)
:lol:

Thanks Kidd!! and peregrinus. I've been doing the reading.

One of my favorite quotes is something like "Everything makes sense when viewed in light of evolution." The discussions here on male-female relationships stay true to that. Sometimes when I'm chilling in public I like to put on my metaphorical safari hat and observe the homo sapien mating rituals in their natural habitat.


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 Post subject: Re: Love and Loss
PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 2:21 am 
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Quote:
Sometimes when I'm chilling in public I like to put on my metaphorical safari hat and observe the homo sapien mating rituals in their natural habitat.
Best show on Urf. 8-)

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:


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 Post subject: Re: Love and Loss
PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 6:41 pm 
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Sparks wrote:
Sometimes when I'm chilling in public I like to put on my metaphorical safari hat and observe the homo sapien mating rituals in their natural habitat.
Bravo!!!

One of my, if not, my favourite pastimes :D

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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 Post subject: Re: Love and Loss
PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 8:14 pm 
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peregrinus wrote:
Sparks wrote:
Sometimes when I'm chilling in public I like to put on my metaphorical safari hat and observe the homo sapien mating rituals in their natural habitat.
Bravo!!!

One of my, if not, my favourite pastimes :D
Yeah, it's fun, but only in the way that an Ipecac Syrup endurance contest is fun...

Mate guarding, PDAs, even just holding hands...

Oh gawd....

[ img ]

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“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. . . ."

-Thoreau's Walden


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