@Sniper - What should I have gotten out of what you guys wrote?
You told me to not think about what she's thinking... this is useless advice because it's a rule to have ON THE DATE...not at home. At home you can think whatever you like as long as you don't internalize core negative beliefs. It's good to NOTICE when things are not going how you'd like them to go...
<Therefore make peace with yourself and accept what you can't change and try to love yourself and give yourself the appreciation you deserve no matter how you look.> Probably the only good piece of advice I got here...
Now what conclusions can I draw, Sniper...besides getting comfortable with myself and accepting the fact that the women that I like in many cases will go after the more "attractive" guys?...just like Adriana Lima rejects you and hooks up with George Clooney...
@Alchemist - I can believe I'm attractive... and still not get checked out as much as they check you even though you DON'T believe you're good looking.
I DON'T ASSUME they wouldn't go for me...that's stupid and I never do that. That's like shooting yourself in the leg and then trying to play soccer. I draw conclusions when I'm home. You can't say you're an excellent soccer coach when your team gets its ass kicked with 20-0.
I didn't get compliments over the years... mm... the best compliment I got was "you're not ugly" and 2 or 3 girls said I was good looking (in 22 years) ....instead....I got hundreds of "Are you his little brother?" when hanging out with classmates... I'm constantly hearing stuff like "22? I thought you were like 16" ... and I constantly notice other guys being called good looking and sexy by girls...
It would be a limiting belief if I would say "I can't get girls because X". Anyone can get girls... the things is I want more choice... like a Spanish player who wants to play for Barcelona...is this about limiting beliefs? No, it's about selection. No matter how much you're the prize and confident and indifferent and so on...women still have to "select" you.
Now who did you get that advice to go to the gym from?
@Kidd -> I wonder where I heard that before.... "Accept what you can't change and work like hell to change what you can." AAA...I know... it's my friend Amadeus Hellequin (Harlequin) from NG.com . He had it as a signature. "When you don't accept what you can't change that's insanity...when you change what you can't accept, that's revolution."
<That said, you never know who is going to like what...so stop beating yourself up with limiting behavior and enjoy life. Celebrate the fact that you beat that serious illness of yours and LIVE!> I'm not beating myself with limiting behavior... I'm just asking what can I do to increase my attractiveness...
Let me give you an analogy. My name is Jose Santos and I'm a soccer player...I'm 28 (not young anymore)...and I play in the Spanish Segunda Division (2nd Spanish League). I always wanted to play for Real Madrid or Barcelona or some other Primera Division team..and I've heard that some of them need an offensive midfielder...and guess what...I'm an offensive midfielder. So I go to Barcelona... they pick Busquets cause they find him better... I go to Real Madrid...they pick Iniesta cause they find him better... I go to Racing Santander, Real Sociedad, Atletico Madrid... and the same thing happens. I'm just not good enough to play in Primera. Now what do i do? I settle for my Segunda Division team? (that's what I meant by settling with women... ) (BTW, I never say I'm not good enough for her... I say it didn't worked for whatever reason... "not good enough for her" makes me feel like shit... but in reality, no matter how it feels...it's pretty close to reality)
Sometimes the limiting belief is simply an acknowledgment of reality. The problem is when it's exaggerated. If you're 5 ft tall and think you're a tall guy you're an idiot...
I could always get girls...but those girls weren't the girls I was REALLY attracted to... I'm looking for an alternative to lowering my standards.