Welcome back Fresh,
Interesting post that belies much introspection and exploration, some important realisations held within.
Fresh wrote: * | Sun Jun 05, 2022 7:33 pm |
I was unsure about committing to her
Yup
Fresh wrote: * | Sun Jun 05, 2022 7:33 pm |
"Eventually, I ended the relationship because I simply didn’t know how to deal with everything."
"I didn’t know how to manage the emotions of what I was dealing with, and keep her happy at the same time."
"I ended the relationship so that I didn’t bring her down with me."
The clarity in these statements is nice to read.
Fresh wrote: * | Sun Jun 05, 2022 7:33 pm |
In other words, I think because I was not able to deal with my emotions and challenge the beliefs I had led me to ultimately break things off with her. These reasons only became clear to me after I cried about the relationship (out of guilt – because I don’t think she anything wrong). I think the emotional release of the cry helped ‘clear my thinking’. Previously I would be vocal about my concerns with her but it was driven with emotion. I didn’t know how to deal with it, and I struggled to rationalise it out with logic.
I would encourage you and others to cry, when it is needed. I was dissuaded during my childhood and many men I know were, it is something worth exploring for yourself.
as you note, it can be a release, a way to move things on.
Finding a way you can explore, vent or otherwise deal with your emotions and release them will help longterm.
the 'reasons' imho are us trying to turn our feeling into logic, so in a sense we can explain them to ourselves and possibly others... the reasons why we feel the way we do.. ie, unwilling to commit to her at this point
ie. your gut is screaming no at you, but you dont really have any solid logical reasons, so you go exploring to find out what is setting your gut off, those then become your reasons, if you are open with yourself.
Fresh wrote: * | Sun Jun 05, 2022 7:33 pm |
It always felt vague to me and difficult to grasp when I read it on the forum years ago.
I've found myself saying this often recently, seems appropriate.
some lessons are sitting there waiting for us, out in the open, waiting for the point where we are ready to understand them and open to them, until then they seem like fog. One we gain the key, usually through an experience that changes the way we are able to view them and suddenly they are there plain as day... "why didnt I see this before, i've read this many times before"
we may be reading the same text but we are different from last time we read it.
Grab a chair, some refreshments and have a browse of the shelves, plenty for you to browse, enjoy.