Wow! Have so much more to comment on...
First, I wanted to share some insight on the thought process involved in this decision:
I go to the front part of the bar (a separate room) and order a beer and chat with the bartender that I am acquaintances with,
It was like when you barely avoid a near accident. A thousand thoughts run through your head in a second, everyone perfectly clear when looking back, and you instinctively grab onto THE best option in that same second. The very first thought was to fucking leave, but then the next quick thoughts were 'no, then she will think she has gotten to you and you either stormed out angrily or ran out crying'
Many more clear thoughts passed through, when all of a sudden my gut latched onto - go to another part of the bar and chill, collect yourself. At least then she will either realize this dude is a douchebag and come back to you, or she will see that you are not affected (outwardly). So I went with this. GUT
They had to see me sitting there unaffected, at least on the outside, chatting with the bartender when they passed. And, because I was involve in my conversation with the bartender, which also took my chaotic mind off the matter, I didn't see them until they were heading out the door. But, again, I KNOW she/they saw me.
Thanks for the CONfirmation 'Grinus:
StephenP wrote:
I go to the front part of the bar (a separate room) and order a beer and chat with the bartender that I am acquaintances with,
I approve of this.
And:
StephenP wrote:
I strangely feel good and free, as this thing I feared actually happened and I survived and am doing fine.
^^^THIS!!!
Really think about that one....
It is a massive step and realisation....
It happened, right in front of you and you are ..... FINE!!!
So fucking true!! I feel a ton of other irrational fears have fallen away upon realizing this as well.
Onto The Kidd!!
(get the new chick to spend some LOOT on you...she knows that you KNOW she's got it!)
Genius! This just reinforces the fact that nothing is COINCIDENCE. She mentioned this for a reason.
And @ you and 'Grinus, appreciate confirming that no response (SPACE) was the way to go. My rationale for this was a saying I heard once, that had a great impact on me. "Whenever you are unsure of how to act in a situation, Do nothing". Meaning allow yourself time to process, give yourself the space to let your gut react properly.
@The Pokemon Trainer
Mr. P, you are a stone cold pimp and you don't even know it.
Perfectly fine to have those feelings because that's just the monkey in you who wants to brain that fool with a bone club for threatening the passage of your genes to the next generation. Fortunately, you're human and humans are capable of transcending beyond the primitive reach of their innate nature. And that is exactly what you did on that night.
Chapeau, mon ami!
Appreciate the swingers reference
And so spot on with your comment.
The french meaning? - "hat's off to you, my friend" ???
@Dali: That post was literally life changing for me, as I struggled with jealousy my whole life. READ THAT POST IF YOU HAVEN'T. As it has been said many times, all the answers are here.
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Onwards, this whole situation led to MAJOR epiphanies in two ways ~
1) I can't find the recent post talking about how boys are no longer initiated into manhood through trial by fire, involving possible risk of death even. But this was definitely trial by fire for me. I (very) loosely compare it to the social version of (what I envision) combat to be like. There was zero time for thought, everything done was on pure instinct alone (which unconsciously considers all past learnings. i.e. from reading this site inside and out). So many emotions and thoughts, far too many to consider them all, that you can ONLY react from your gut and nothing else.
2) This was a turning point. I was raised to be a nice guy and treat everyone good because "this will get you into heaven". It was, through this experience, drilled into my brain how self serving humans can be and no longer feel bad about serving my own best interests. Treating others in kind. I'm still chewing on this one!