Natural Freedom

I've been inquisitive myself into self-help. Reading books watching clips online. As many of us know the benefits and guarantee's they proclaim sometimes are luring.

I just found out that when I was an adolescent, 6-8 years old, my mother enrolled me in a seminar. One which helps young people expand and be 'successful'. I was not aware of this, nor do I remember anything from it. However, when we're young we are like sponges, ready to devour experiences and knowledge as it comes.

Just today my mom told me about how she enrolled in an Anthony Robbins Seminar. I can see where I get my self-help seeking habit from. Now, I think I'm a bit biased towards self-help books and what not at the moment. One being there's masses upon masses of books available for everything on self-help (communication, love making, self-esteem, confidence,...). She told me how the gent who signed her up is my age and new in town. Hinting that I should hangout with him. I'm weary of it all.

A quote from Peaceful Warrior He also says something along the lines: people are scared of what's inside.

Anyhow, I'm curious to know how many of you guys have benefited from self-help and what's your outlook on them?

I like the quote you posted.

My criteria is anything that inspires you to look inward or gives useful practices for guiding yourself in that direction (there are many) so that you continue to get your own answers. Anything that approaches it as a tool / training for realizing the resources are within you and actually about accessing them, identifying blocks or limiting ideas etc

What I avoid: anything that says the magic technique will do it FOR you.

Anything that emphasizes the quick fix- that something will just wipe out your inner stuff rather than giving you assistance in confronting yourself.

Anything that focuses on getting to a magic place where there are never any challenges again and money and women fall from the sky etc - ego and safety appeals rather than making yourself into the person who is equipped to handle what life brings.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTXz8xMaJi4

Exactly flow! That's the A grade garbage I learned to stay away from.

I guess at this moment I'm a bit fed up with the word 'self-help'. A bit of anger. I've been working on myself for the past couple years with many ups and downs. Getting far in the process, but NOT where I want to be. And, honestly I'm not sure where I really want to be (I have a hard time visualizing a future me of what I want). I think that may be a problem...driving in the night with no headlights type of deal. Flip side though is don't imagine how I want to be; just be what I am...confusion many ways for me?

I slipped on the fallacy that results will come swift. And, after completing in my eyes 'hard work' of all these self help ideas and exercises. I was butt hurt that I wasn't a PUA Guru by now with TOP NOTCH INNER GAME! hahah life!

EDIT: I BELIEVE a reason many of the somewhat useful information gathered from self-help was no use to me was, because of my belief deep down, I mean deep, sometimes not even aware of it that I CAN'T CHANGE. I'll always be the way I am...like a curse.

Self help exercises etc. are done through your current identity- which is the root level and far deeper than thought (which has been brought up in a few other places.. I think I used the analogy of trying to use affirmations or self-help techniques to make your hair or nails stop growing).

You hold a fixed concept of what 'thedude' is and perhaps it can be tweaked to make a better version of thedude, or thedude with better more functional beliefs. That can bring a certain level of results.

It's when you get down to the realization that you're NOT THAT, that the whole thing is a programmed structure created to keep you safe and functional in the world when you were young. You are not "thedude" - you created it and now identify with him entirely..

again, when there's a thought, you assume it's thedude, with your current identity that is having the thought. What is it that actually looks at the thought? It's pure awareness without limitation.

This is what is really important and I'm lucky I had/have a teacher who explained this to me and took me through it: techniques will work but then they hit a point where they don't anymore, because you start going for something outside of your identity, which was created for protection and will not allow it. But we start thinking we didn't do the technique right or we just need a new better one.. and we're trying to work on 'our thoughts' and our actions and not questioning the entire structure that is in place, especially because we are so deep inside of it, it doesn't even seem like something maleability it's just "reality."

This is where a deeper level of exploration and inquiry is in order. And the dismantling of who you are does not happen without a fight, and it's not a yellow brick road that is filled with money and pussy with each step you take.. but it's what must go if you are ever truly going to be free.

As was also posted somewhere else here, if there was no internal conflict - you'd just say what you want to be and you'd be it. Where does the pain come from? One wants to express more / be more, the other thinks it won't be safe. Your nervous system DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT if you are happy, your goals, your dreams -- if you are alive, if you have access to food, it is doing it's job and it does not want the system to be rocked. There's no external evil force that doesn't want you to change, all the pain/resistance is that one is safety and one is freedom. The "I can't change" is super deep, it's below thought and rooted in survival. Everything that created 'thedude' *worked* because you're not *dead* - dig?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTXz8xMaJi4

I find it very ironic that most self help advice out there is external..

Surely the clue is in the name:

Self Help.

It isnt called : Let me help you while you pay me.... hmm, thats an interesting marketting strategy...

Your default state is to be happy, let that sink in.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Taken in.

@Flow83

I dig it. Had to read it twice. I know what you speak of. 'thedude' is a habitual pattern I have created. It's my safe garden where things can be assumed and compartmentalized. I haven't grasped the entire picture of it all.

I have a pit in my solar plex where I feel most of the tension residing in. And my thought and feeling is this is where I am holding onto identity and the illusive 'me'. As far as what you talked about books of Power of Now and new age books of that helped open the door, but where does it go from here?

EDIT: As far as Pure Awareness I believe the reason I and others enjoy drinking would be for the disconnect with myself and doubts. It's unfiltered.

Cameron teone had an interesting article on this subject. Basically he says that the point of self help is to get out of it once you start using it.

Truth is people go to self help material to fix an issue they have. No satisfied and fulfilled individual would read "awaken the giant within" or "10 steps to happinness."

My issue with self help material, especially mainstream garbage like robbins, debbie ford, etc. is that they offer whatever technique try have as a solution to life's complicated issues.

Its usually about self empowerment cheerleader style which doesnt amount to much. What self help tries to do is provide means o fix your issues instead of syaing, hey we all have issues and arent broken.

Helps on the worldly level, such as developing better
learning strategies and learning faster. (languages,
music)

Aligning self help with what I do in the world basically.
I grow anyway.

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♫♫♩♫‿◦

Here is the best self help advise about annoying women, much better than Mystery, David D. and Zan's advise And it only takes two seconds to read :

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

Selective hearing is much better than tape

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."