Natural Freedom

Hi, how's everybody doing ?

My life's been getting better, I've got two job oppurtunities that I'm working on, it will be matter of weeks so my financial situation is better, overall my life is more cool.

I met a girl, that has been showing me signs of interest - looks and some subtle things, but I mostly felt it from her.. I liked her so I practically initiated conversation.. We take a walk, talk.. Then she takes train home, I pull out my cellphone, then hold it in my hand (She couldn't stop talking lol) and when's got to take the train she ask for my number, so I gave it.. She told me at Friday she's got some high school reunion after 6 years so she's in my town and we can go somewhere for a while. I tell her ok, and bid farewell.

At Friday I text her, we meet up at restaurant, she's there with a friend.. I join them, friend leaves after a while. While talking she sometimes touches my hand (evidence). When she has to go to the reunion, the waitress comes and asks about the pay, she offers to pay it all, so I say ok.

I'm pretty sure she likes me. I like her too.. I can't really imagine the relationship would last for more than few months but why not I wouldn't mind.

Things is. The girls I talked about in this thread: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=2204
She texted me again, (the next day after I was with the first girl) if she could stop by again. This time she could have been at other dude's place who lives near her, so it wasn't that much escape card as before. I didn't have any plans, I told her ok.. I called some friends, had fun all day (too long to tell you, nobody would read it !! it's long even now I know.. ).
She slept at my place again.. We watched a movie, but it was more of background noise, we talked all night (till almost 5AM). She asked if I don't mind her putting her head on my shoulder (I can't tell this well enough in english), So I said ok.. She was pretty much lying on my chest, with my arm around her -
Now this is why I'm confused. I don't know how much I'm be friendzoned, this didn't feel sexual, more friendly sort of, but I could be just stupid and blind as fuck.
She told me I'm her psychiatrist, then that I'm a good friend.. But I felt immeadetely it's a bluff or a lie. It feels more that she's trying to not like me, for whatever reason.
I didn't really touched her sexually, because she told me about the (tons of) guys that literally try to sex her, tell her "pls give me blowjob" (literally) etc, so I don't want to join their ranks.
I'm sure she's testing me, but I don't know exactly how or anything

But I like this girl.. Especially after this.. And I can't really choose from these two, they are different like day and night and I like both

My avatar speaks for myself

Advice, experience and opinions welcomed

She feels relaxed by you but not excited. She is considering her options.

The key here is to focus on the improvement of your life and get excited about the fantastic opportunities coming your way.

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Sparkling All Over

Oh Ok - She's got options, she can pretty much point a finger and a dude's hers.. But she underestimates herself also.

So practically I should not focus on her much and just live my life etc right ?

Correct let her build up the frenzy for you, let her chase you

In the end a man doesn't exist in a woman s world keep that in mind all she cares about what value you have to offer. Since she's holding off on you I would start scheming on how she earn her way on your team like getting her to court you since she is holding out on you feel me.

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~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo

I don't really understand this

Since she is considering her options of what would best suit her and testing you to see how much of a man you are for her, you should concentrate on getting your life pimp tight. She's basically not going to get on her back for you anytime soon, until she feels like you are her best pick, you should start coming up with ways to test and qualify her to see how and why she would best be suited to be on your team. Will she complement your life like ice cream or will she make it sour and pungent, make her jump through hoops of fire or as The Kidd would put it "ball steal"

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~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo

That sounds cool, but I don't really get any practical ideas.. So far she demonstrated lots of things I like.

Sounds positive.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Thank Peregrinus

I just wanted to tell you guys I had to go public with my knowledge.
For a long time good friend of mine kept telling me I should write blog or something about this stuff, that I have enough experience and I understand a lot of things - I talk about girls with him a lot, the only reason he's not here with us he's lazy to learn proper English.

So I wrote a blog article.. I wrote about attraction and values in general. I posted it, send it to a friend.. He told me it's great, sent it to other people, and we shared it on our facebook walls.

What happened next surprised me as hell. People start PMing me "Dude that article is so true you are right." Even females. One girl told me "Write something for girls, they need it too." Couple of people told me to go on writing.

So yeah.. Looks like I'm probably going to help some people
And probably myself in the proces

And I thought I'm motherfucker who's good for nothing

Even the poorest thing shine.

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GMST

So I texted the girl that I'm sure likes me, what she's up to this weekend. She sent me a list of things, long as hell, I think one doesn't have even a minute of free time with that kind of list, there was nothing to be said than "I see".
She mentioned earlied she likes to structure her day, plan every minute etc (Which I myself can't do) so it didn't actually surprise me, it confirmed my thoughts.

What a joke. I keep on meeting and attracting girls that don't have a man, because they don't have time for one.

Ask yourself why she plans her days so completely...
You may find the answer illuminating.

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Good question, here goes:
I know some people who just can't have anything unorganised, including their time.
Or she doesn't want to be bored, or to "waste" time.
Some people like routine.. And don't want to change it
But that's not deep enough..
Maybe she's afraid of something, so she escapes it this way, runs away from it all day long
She could be very lonely

Or maybe she just has to do all the stuff thanks to her family..

That's all I could come up with, sorry

I believe that girls genuinely do love a guy who is insightful, who they feel unthreatened by sexually, who is their psychologist and best friend. It's rare and refreshing and they do appreciate it.

I was this guy most of teenage years at the least. And girls thought I said the greatest things and seemed to know so much. Lots of conversations and such, never turned physical.

Just don't expect this type of respect to be an "in" to a sexual fun exciting vibe - its not. The whole thing they like about it, is that it's not that. It's this unique other thing that gives them something of value to them. Without the "annoyance" of sexual energy in the equation.

My take is they're not going to screw that up by sleeping with that guy. You don't get rewarded with sex by being non-sexual when the opportunities are presented.

Only be that guy if you are okay with being that guy! If you want a close female friend it's cool but if you want something sexual then don't be the refreshingly non sexual guy. You may find they actually find this far more insulting (because it can be seen as fake and deceptive) then a guy who says "hey want to fuck?"

This is just my experience and perspective. I've never been the friend psychologist again and never been happier. Except when i choose to willingly take that role in a situation knowing very well it doesn't lead to something other than that, and am ok w it.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTXz8xMaJi4

There is a difference between indifference, and having no clear picture of what you want.
Of course it is good to be happy with "whatever happens" but as men we are greatly driven by whatever our vision is.

You can be unattached to the results, but you're not going to be Michael Jordan without having a goal and committing to it. What kind of relationships with women do you want? If you have no clear answer, don't expect a very clear result. This is not in conflict with indifference they are both very important pieces to the puzzle.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTXz8xMaJi4

Why are you apologising for coming up with some things.

From the way you wrote this, you looked a bit, then did go no deeper.

I would say you nailed it That would be my guess.. She is not giving herself time to face up to the thing she runs away from.. She is removing space because she is not comfortable with herself, in some way.

Now from observing her (which you do) what is your gut telling you is behind this?

The rest is you making excuses for her. The usual excuses.

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

First of all my gut is telling my this most probably won't work out.. We are too different, as far as I know - But it could show up later that we aren't that much different, I don't know

I don't know, it could be anything.. Most people escape from something, everybody has different way of doing it.
Sometimes it's obvious what's the person trying to escape from, by looking in their eyes and listening to them, but in her case I'm not sure. It may be because she doesn't know what she wants for herself, at all..
She most probably wants to fill her day with various tasks, so at the end of the day she can tell herself she did all those things, so she's living a good life - Links to the suppressed fear of not knowing what she wants to do

I'm not bad at this analysis, but I'm bad with coming up with solutions.
I've got problems telling what's an analytical thought and what's a gut feeling, really

Think of this as an experiment.

You have already said that you do not think the two of you will work together well... So being unattached to the outcome may be somewhat easier, as you do not want an outcome with her.

Observe and ingest... No thought to judgement or outcomes or using the information.

When you are around her, observe. Something will jump out at you. The more you still yourself the more it will jump out.

--

This not not about her... It is about you... Think of the situation as training...

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Ok, good.. That appeals to me.

But I suppose I have to iniciate contact.. She won't, even if she's inetersted as she is (Or has been, I don't know). She added me on facebook, but she won't text me or anything

Thanks, I'll see how it goes

You might experiment with body awareness exercises and noticing how one FEELS to you vs. analysis which can almost entirely disconnect you from other feelings. For me this opens the door for the distinction between the two to grow from extremely subtle/can barely tell to very clear.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTXz8xMaJi4