When the woman picks YOU, then the magic happens.
For some reason picking the woman ALWAYS felt wrong to me, on a real gut level. Give them the space to pick you, do not desert them but do not hound and harry them.
Fishing is a real good analogy and your presence in the world is the bait, they are the fish, it is their job to be tempted by the bait into biting.. You do not force a fish to eat the bait when fishing do you?
are the stimulus, THEY
are the response]
Ok, addition here, to try and explain things on a base level:
THEY want the best seed they can get, if you have that seed they will try to convince you to give it to them. They will go to extraordinary lengths when they have picked you, far beyond what most men consider to be persistent, they will be very determined and focused.
They have far fewer chances to have a good child with good genetics than you as a man do, so it is in their favour to be picky and pick well. Present yourself to the world as a good choice (not socially or on a society level, on a natural level) and they will pick you.
When they see a man who shows them the right things that ticks their boxes it is a really powerful thing for them, they WANT
his seed, they are driven to get it, rationality and logic go out of the window.
Their boxes may not make sense to you, they may not even make sense to them. On a natural biological level they do make sense to her genes.
When you pick her and listen to her, you are another person listening to what she wants to talk about, another way to 'vent' or 'offload' some of her emotion. She is not investing in you, you are just there, if it was not you it would be someone else.
When she picks you and you are listening to her, you are expressing interest by spending time actually listening to her(You do not have to). She is spending that time INVESTING in you
. She is not talking from the same place as the other option, she is explaining herself, what makes her tick, what she is like, trying to find commonalities and connection with you.
She does this to try and build a bond with you, so that you will pick her
(She has already picked you).
It is a totally different dynamic.