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PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 11:00 pm 
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Quote:
"A Reply From CEO of J.P. Morgan To A Pretty Girl Seeking A Rich Husband".. !

...A young 'n pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

... ----------------------------------------------------
Title: What Should I do to Marry A Rich Guy?
----------------------------------------------------

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style 'n good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.

You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income,'n it seems that this is my upper limit.

If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names 'n addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks 'n are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, 'n who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty
Quote:
A Philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" 'n "money" : Person A provides beauty,'n Person B pays for it, fair 'n square.

However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, 'n you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it 'n it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. 'n by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO...

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 11:06 pm 
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haha, loved it :mrgreen:

_________________
"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 5:20 pm 
Ok, that is too pimp. I wonder how much brain damage that post caused to her psyche.

I feel like it would be catastrophic and irreversible; both are good side effects.

I wonder why he even bothered to right so long

if he is a real CEO. That point raises a red flag for me.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 6:16 pm 
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This was sooooo epicly GLORIOUS! :twisted:

@ rkd: Probably because, like he, he once couldn't get those same bitches to give him the time of day. Now he can see them for who they are from where he's sitting...so karma forced his hand. :geek:

Everybody likes a little payback now and then. ;)

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2011 8:40 pm 
Ahhhh....yes.

The juicy repository where vengeance bubbles, seathes, and finally percolates through the masks of social behaviors we wield is a dandy phenomenon. It is strange and funny that he exacts his pound-of-flesh from a random female (possibly male) on the internet. She got the business. He tore her out the frame. I'd like to read the comments of the first symp. to pick her spilt cantaloupe off the pavement.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 10:25 am 
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Glorious doesn't even begin to describe my glee at reading this. Epic 8-)

_________________
"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 3:45 am 
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I read this often 8-)

I managed to find the original version unedited...it's a bit different. I'm pretty sure this girls ego was shattered after reading this.

http://www.thehulltruth.com/dockside-ch ... n-ceo.html
Morpheus wrote:
This post appeared on Craigslist as a classic that hit the frontpage of thousands of websites worldwide. Apparently, a supposedly beautiful 25-year-old woman was trying her luck on Craigslist...

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York . I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.


Wall Street banker Rob Campbell (Employed by JP Morgan) gave our girl a shake that she'll never forget. =)

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity!in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold "hence the rub"marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

_________________
"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."


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