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Love and Loss
http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=2450
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Author:  StephenP [ Sun Aug 12, 2012 9:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Love and Loss

Quote:
Love: An emotional response to a logical subconscious assessment of a target that shows most if not all of the qualities that are desirable in a mate from the observer's perspective.
Kidd!!, this definition really changed my outlook on life and opened my eyes to the truth what's really going on between two people.

How would you define/explain the feeling of a 'broken heart' or the feeling of ending a relationship?

Thanks

Author:  Sparks [ Sun Aug 12, 2012 10:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Love and Loss

I know this is directed at Kidd but I'd like to take a stab at it.

You were attracted to that person, and got in a relationship with them, because they gave you value. When the relationship is over, you have lost that value. It is a process of grief because you lost something in your life that you valued. When you "have' that person's value, you feel love because you are the recipient of it. When you don't "have" it, you feel sad because you lost it.

From an evolutionary perspective: it conditions you not to end mating relationships. Just like when you touch a hot stove, and your body's pain response teaches you not to touch hot stoves in the future. The pain of sadness that you feel teaches you to continue mating relationships in the future.

Learning not to touch hot things will protect you from harm, which in the end, will make you more likely to survive and reproduce. Not ending a mating relationship will also make you more likely to reproduce, obviously, because you and your mate will stay together to raise offspring.

Author:  The Kidd!! [ Sun Aug 12, 2012 11:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Love and Loss

Sparks wrote:
I know this is directed at Kidd but I'd like to take a stab at it.

You were attracted to that person, and got in a relationship with them, because they gave you value. When the relationship is over, you have lost that value. It is a process of grief because you lost something in your life that you valued. When you "have' that person's value, you feel love because you are the recipient of it. When you don't "have" it, you feel sad because you lost it.

From an evolutionary perspective: it conditions you not to end mating relationships. Just like when you touch a hot stove, and your body's pain response teaches you not to touch hot stoves in the future. The pain of sadness that you feel teaches you to continue mating relationships in the future.

Learning not to touch hot things will protect you from harm, which in the end, will make you more likely to survive and reproduce. Not ending a mating relationship will also make you more likely to reproduce, obviously, because you and your mate will stay together to raise offspring.
:shock:

Wow...you guys coming out of left field with these low ass post counts (9 as of this posting) is just blowing me AWAY! Well done! :ugeek:

Author:  Flow83 [ Sun Aug 12, 2012 11:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Love and Loss

For many it is not just qualities they 'value' - but parts of themselves they have cut off and now believe can only be gotten from a woman/man.

When they enter the relationship they now have "permission" to feel approved of, worthy, a real man, whatever. They attribute this to relationship itself, that the woman *gives* this to them rather than emphasizes something already within them.

Thus lines like "you complete me" (puke)

This makes the 'hearbreak' far deeper than just the loss of something you enjoy, but literally feel like part of you has died because you have attributed it to something outside of yourself, which is now gone.

Feeling and knowing you are complete does not lead to sitting on your ass, nothing being created, or no relationships. Quite the opposite. Red must be completely red and blue completely blue to make purple.

Author:  peregrinus [ Mon Aug 13, 2012 12:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Love and Loss

Sparks :D

Author:  Sniper [ Mon Aug 13, 2012 1:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Love and Loss

Flow83 wrote:
For many it is not just qualities they 'value' - but parts of themselves they have cut off and now believe can only be gotten from a woman/man.

When they enter the relationship they now have "permission" to feel approved of, worthy, a real man, whatever. They attribute this to relationship itself, that the woman *gives* this to them rather than emphasizes something already within them.

Thus lines like "you complete me" (puke)

This makes the 'hearbreak' far deeper than just the loss of something you enjoy, but literally feel like part of you has died because you have attributed it to something outside of yourself, which is now gone.

Feeling and knowing you are complete does not lead to sitting on your ass, nothing being created, or no relationships. Quite the opposite. Red must be completely red and blue completely blue to make purple.
I can totally relate and see this with the inner work that I'm doing and observing (myself).

I also remember that Star_Above said something like:
a man who needs a woman to give him praise, connection, bond and all that other stuff means that he is not his own best friend...

Author:  rant [ Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Love and Loss

almost every interaction goes between love an loss, the thing is to realize that there is no we, it is only you, not a an edgy comment,it is realizing you as the one.

Author:  Jared [ Sat Aug 25, 2012 11:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Love and Loss

StephenP wrote:


How would you define/explain the feeling of a 'broken heart' or the feeling of ending a relationship?

Thanks
A LABEL FAILURE. 8-)

Author:  Sparks [ Thu Aug 30, 2012 2:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Love and Loss

Jared wrote:
StephenP wrote:


How would you define/explain the feeling of a 'broken heart' or the feeling of ending a relationship?

Thanks
A LABEL FAILURE. 8-)
:lol:

Thanks Kidd!! and peregrinus. I've been doing the reading.

One of my favorite quotes is something like "Everything makes sense when viewed in light of evolution." The discussions here on male-female relationships stay true to that. Sometimes when I'm chilling in public I like to put on my metaphorical safari hat and observe the homo sapien mating rituals in their natural habitat.

Author:  The Kidd!! [ Thu Aug 30, 2012 2:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Love and Loss

Quote:
Sometimes when I'm chilling in public I like to put on my metaphorical safari hat and observe the homo sapien mating rituals in their natural habitat.
Best show on Urf. 8-)

Author:  peregrinus [ Thu Aug 30, 2012 6:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Love and Loss

Sparks wrote:
Sometimes when I'm chilling in public I like to put on my metaphorical safari hat and observe the homo sapien mating rituals in their natural habitat.
Bravo!!!

One of my, if not, my favourite pastimes :D

Author:  The Pokemon Trainer [ Thu Aug 30, 2012 8:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Love and Loss

peregrinus wrote:
Sparks wrote:
Sometimes when I'm chilling in public I like to put on my metaphorical safari hat and observe the homo sapien mating rituals in their natural habitat.
Bravo!!!

One of my, if not, my favourite pastimes :D
Yeah, it's fun, but only in the way that an Ipecac Syrup endurance contest is fun...

Mate guarding, PDAs, even just holding hands...

Oh gawd....

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