Haven't posted recently, but this thread prompted a response....
@The Dude, these are excellent realizations which will definitely help you, but I feel like it's a sport to you to see how much internal pain/frustration you can inflict upon yourself. Lighten up on yourself, give yourself a break!
You're young, you mentioned your college age (what percent of college dudes even are aware of this stuff, .01? .001?), and keep an overall perspective on this topic and when you find yourself yourself falling into despair look at the whole timeline you'll be surprised at how far you have really come.
I'll be 30 in a little over 2 months, and even as recent as 6 months ago (before I found the natural freedom forum) I was watching smiling asian singers thinking it would lead to tons of women, enlightenment, and no problems...
My progress has been amazing to me, I've learned more in the past 6 months on this forum (recommended books, observation from a different mindset) than 29 years, but on a day to day basis it does not always seem that way.
I recall from one of your previous posts you were way deep into PUA like Sniper or myself. The biggest issue with PUA is that they give you this routine that will allow you full control of every situation so you can make it work to your best outcome. But that is not how life is.
So with this PUA mindset, we delve into this efforts of mediation, inner work, etc. and try to control the process instead of realize that actually we have very little control. When things do not go exactly to plan we beat ourselves up.
We'll have peaks & valleys and not everyone's path will be the same, but keep your head up, I think your progress is coming along nicely
Also, I'm sure you'll have eye opening and insightful experiences just working with the bar staff. I assume that the girls are attractive.
Onward!