Man. So much in this thread... Definitely some dark stuff, but so much that is important to see too. Treasure chest?
Sorry if this gets a little long...
Life is a lonely shitty place. No cunt is ever going to change that shit. No one is.
Theres no reason to live, we all turn into rotting corpses anyway.
Won´t have a satisfiying future anyway.
There is no reason to live, but there is no reason to die either. I think those that commit suicide miss this point - if there's no point to doing anything and nobody's ever going to change, then there's really no point to killing yourself either... I think Merrick even echoed this somewhere else in the thread, but I just wanted to reiterate it.
Fuck this shit.
I won´t get rid of my self-hate- or the contempt I have for others.
I wish someone would just shoot me in the head point blank so this I can get this over with.
Tried solving my problems but every step made me more messed up.
Too much attachment still. Why won't you get rid of your self hate and contempt? Why do you insist on hanging onto that when you have clearly given up many of the other illusions you once had?
I'll need to get my shit together quick.. unemployed, angry, frustrated, lonely.
Broken inside. My mother said i was a no good, all time failure, psychopath. A coward.
What if she had called you a rocking chair?
Would you have believed it?
Haha. Awesome. This might be the best Jared quote I've read yet.
HANDLE THE FUCKING TRUTH ALREADY...the sooner you do, the sooner you can start doing constructive shit to improve your lot in life.
Neo couldn't learn Kung Fu and kick ass inside the Matrix until he puked his fucking guts out, passed out, then eventually HANDLED THE FUCKING TRUTH IN THE REAL WORLD.
Moral of the story is: QUIT YOUR FUCKING CRYING AND MAN THE FUCK UP ALREADY. Once you do that, INDEPENDENT of what THEY think, you will earn a respect from them that you never imagined possible.
^^^ THIS!
Before this 'manning up' I collapsed when the weak display of {my mother's} begun; I felt like shit, and sometimes cried in my room because of the (inconsiderateness, grossiness, jerkishness, and how feisty I was) because of the shame she instiled in me. But not anymore. I can see clearly now. Now I am Icy and cold (when I check and assess the situation logically of course and is a clear disadvantage and abuse for me)... And it really feels weird, but is very liberating. It's like breaking the chains of motherhood in sense.
Even your beloved mom is part of the matrix, and she's programmed to manipulate you.
I love it - "Break the chains of motherhood." I'd say this is probably the most deeply programmed aspect of the matrix, that we all inherently "love our mothers". I mean the programming says that the only people that don't love their mothers are murdering rapist psychopaths (and even then, I seem to remember some movie where one of the characters says, "Even murderer's love their mothers...") Why is it that insulting your mom is considered completely taboo, while insulting your dad doesn't carry the same weight?
I don't love my mother. I see her as just another flawed human, pushed into doing what she has done because she has needs and wants that she is trying to fulfill in whatever way she can. She is just a person like any other - there is nothing that makes her different from anyone else I meet...
You['re mom is] not special. You{'re mom} is not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're {mom is} the same decaying organic matter as everything else. - Tyler Durden {edited by Meraki}
it's psychological warfare and a game with EVERYONE!! Even your mother. And remember, you don't owe anybody shit people, if your parents say "You were lucky we raised you good, you had food and a bed"...well guess what, if they didn't provide that for you you would have died and their asses would have went to jail....who does what for who?
Nicely put. My parents may have provided for me in the past, but that is not justification to let them manipulate and take advantage of me now. I fully expect that there will be a time in the future when my parents need to be taken care of in the same way when they can no longer take care of themselves. At that point I will provide for them in their weak state the same way they provided for me when I was a child and couldn't provide for myself. Until that time, however, I have decided to not let them manipulate me by playing the "we raised you" card. Whatever debt I "owe" them for providing for me while I was growing up will be repaid only once they really NEED it, not just because they WANT it.
I wouldn't put it like that Star,
your parents love you but like everyone else they have issues and programs they are dealing with.
for our parents it was harder to change the inner issues and programs because they didn't know or have access to inner work like we do now esp. with the internet...
I disagree Sniper.
I have 2 points for you to consider. 1: what do you mean by "your parent's love you"? I don't think my parent's love me. They get value out of me (or try to), but that is not the same thing as loving me... See:
http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=262
2: It does not matter why our parents are the way they are - that's simply a distraction from the truth of the matter. They are in the matrix, and they are programmed by the matrix just like everyone else around us. Remember from the movie - anyone who is still in the matrix, even your own mother, can turn into an agent at a moments notice:
"Morpheus: The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you’re inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inert, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.
[Neo's eyes suddenly wander towards a woman in a red dress.]
Morpheus: If you are not one of us, you are one of them."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXQozTxQSiE&noredirect=1
Peace is not the absence of pain, peace is there even during pain if the pain is not resisted and allowed to be there.
^^^ THIS! I've studied Zen a fair bit, and essentially Zen believes that "enlightenment" is non-attachment. One thing the monks at the monastery I visit say is that the more your legs hurt while meditating, the more progress your making. The more you meditate, the more flexible you become, and the less your legs hurt while sitting. Becoming non-attached to the pain and letting it go is a powerful exercise.
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As far as the love question - one way I look at it is if you want (of your own accord) to give someone more value than you get in return (and you are aware of this), then you love them. If they want to do the same back to you, then you love each other. If you love someone, then there is no reason to manipulate them, because you are already giving them more than you're getting back in return, so its illogical to then try to manipulate them into giving you more back. If someone trys to manipulate you, then it means that they want to get back more in return than they give, and therefore they inherently don't love you. Show me someone who is completely non-manipulative to you, and I'll show you someone who loves you.
My parents both try to manipulate me. My mother especially is incredibly manipulative. She does not love me - she just want to get something out of me.
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