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Jared
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 8:03 am 
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Star_Above wrote:
The Kidd!! wrote:
I tell my mom all the time that she was a GREAT provider but a VERY SHITTY mother. :ugeek:

My mom used to tell me to my face that if I didn't meet her expections scholastically I would get no love...so Merrick, your case is not special. I'm not going to baby your ass like some of these other cats might. HANDLE THE FUCKING TRUTH ALREADY...the sooner you do, the sooner you can start doing constructive shit to improve your lot in life.

Neo couldn't learn Kung Fu and kick ass inside the Matrix until he puked his fucking guts out, passed out, then eventually HANDLED THE FUCKING TRUTH IN THE REAL WORLD. :ugeek:

I just told myself one day...FUCK what my mom thinks. :twisted:

...and I've been free ever since. 8-)

The other day my mom asked me to put her on my bank account 'in case of emergency' (translation: she wants to know how much money I make)...I told her that I'm showing her how financially responsible I am by NOT putting her on there (translation: FUCK YOU, BITCH. :twisted: ). She instantly threatened to remove me from the will. I just laughed and said, 'Go right ahead...and have a nice day.'. That bitch has never treated me better since. :mrgreen:

Moral of the story is: QUIT YOUR FUCKING CRYING AND MAN THE FUCK UP ALREADY. Once you do that, INDEPENDENT of what THEY think, you will earn a respect from them that you never imagined possible.

Trust me. ;)

Nicely done!

As Kidd's example just showed, it's psychological warfare and a game with EVERYONE!! Even your mother. And remember, you don't owe anybody shit people, if your parents say "You were lucky we raised you good, you had food and a bed"...well guess what, if they didn't provide that for you you would have died and their asses would have went to jail....who does what for who? :o
If you’re tolerating it, it MUST change.

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Sniper
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 10:51 am 
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Star_Above wrote:
As Kidd's example just showed, it's psychological warfare and a game with EVERYONE!!. if your parents say "You were lucky we raised you good, you had food and a bed"...well guess what, if they didn't provide that for you you would have died and their asses would have went to jail....who does what for who? :o
I wouldn't put it like that Star,

your parents love you but like everyone else they have issues and programs they are dealing with.

for our parents it was harder to change the inner issues and programs because they didn't know or have access to inner work like we do now esp. with the internet...

What did our parents have access to in the 60's, 70's or 80's?

sure psychology was around but it wasn't like today when you can read stuff on the internet and search... or buy self help \ inner work programs from the internet instead of having to fly miles away to get the knowledge.


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Altair
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 12:23 pm 
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That's good point Sniper..our generation has so much more access to tools and information much more so than our parents.

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Flow83
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 12:41 pm 
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Jared wrote:
If the problem is pain, it is rather useless to
talk peace. Mere talk about peace isn´t peace.

Too big of an Awareness Gap.

But a reasonable degree of advancement is possible.
Peace is not the absence of pain, peace is there even during pain if the pain is not resisted and allowed to be there. You don't have to self-help all your problems and "limiting beliefs" away before you can be peaceful, that's an eternal trap that keeps you there and buying product after product etc. or constantly depressed because you aren't "there" yet. You're not broken, even when you feel like it.

There is a ton of power and energy in pain, can be huge impetus for change and to man up. Accept it's there - move into it. Fixing your life and being everything you want to be takes plenty of time. Peace you can find in your next breath, it's not far away and not dependent on circumstance.

It has nothing to do with wishful thinking or airy fairy BS. The shit that happened to you happened -- you feel the way you do. Even it's pure hatred, it's there - you can embrace it or try to get rid of it, one is going to give you power the other will suck the life out of you. So there's anger and hatred and depression here - now what are you gonna do with it :twisted:

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Flow83
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 2:06 pm 
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Quote:
One cannot be his own therapy.
One cannot look at himself objectively.
We are slaves to ourselves and our own thoughts.
That is my prison.
This is a closed system - there is no escaping it.

Getting a glimpse that it is not true is key - it does not mean all your problems magically vanish. It does show that there is something beyond it to get your ass out of total apathy, and that the solution is not getting rid of thoughts or making everything pretty and perfect.

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Jared
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 2:21 pm 
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Flow83 wrote:
Jared wrote:
If the problem is pain, it is rather useless to
talk peace. Mere talk about peace isn´t peace.

Too big of an Awareness Gap.

But a reasonable degree of advancement is possible.
Peace is not the absence of pain, peace is there even during pain if the pain is not resisted and allowed to be there. You don't have to self-help all your problems and "limiting beliefs" away before you can be peaceful, that's an eternal trap that keeps you there and buying product after product etc. or constantly depressed because you aren't "there" yet. You're not broken, even when you feel like it.

There is a ton of power and energy in pain, can be huge impetus for change and to man up. Accept it's there - move into it. Fixing your life and being everything you want to be takes plenty of time. Peace you can find in your next breath, it's not far away and not dependent on circumstance.

It has nothing to do with wishful thinking or airy fairy BS. The shit that happened to you happened -- you feel the way you do. Even it's pure hatred, it's there - you can embrace it or try to get rid of it, one is going to give you power the other will suck the life out of you. So there's anger and hatred and depression here - now what are you gonna do with it :twisted:
Talk about peace is just what it is,
talk about peace.

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Sniper
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 3:19 pm 
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Morpheus wrote:
That's good point Sniper..our generation has so much more access to tools and information much more so than our parents.
it goes even deeper than that for a lot of people. See Our parents often carry stuff that their parents passed on to them and in many cases their parents had to live with collective traumas (not just personal traumas) from stuff like:
World War II
holocaust
genocide (if the grandparents are from Russia for example)
pogroms, murder, abuse or no rights (if your parents or grandparents were black people in America)
poverty which was a big problem after world war 2 and even later times...

(depends on where your grandparents are from...)

our parent's parents sure didn't know or have access to inner work - and they often carried bigger traumas than personal traumas (collective traumas), they passed a lot of stuff to our parents which also didn't know or have access to inner work.

We are very lucky to have access to inner work and psychology often without even living the house thanks to the internet. Now it's up to us to change, forgive and be better fathers in the future (for those who want kids...).

Oh, just make sure you marry the right woman (if you decide to get married) and don't be a symp father.... :lol:




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Star_Above
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 4:24 pm 
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Quote:
I wouldn't put it like that Star,

your parents love you but like everyone else they have issues and programs they are dealing with.
Is it really YOU they love? Why do they love you? What the fuck is "Love" anyway - Dig deep... This is the toughest pill of all to swallow, your guilt for believing the truth will make you gag and want to throw it up. Luckily I've digested it and shit it out on 4th street.

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Aragorn
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 4:27 pm 
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Star_Above wrote:
Quote:
I wouldn't put it like that Star,

your parents love you but like everyone else they have issues and programs they are dealing with.
Is it really YOU they love? Why do they love you? What the fuck is "Love" anyway - Dig deep... This is the toughest pill of all to swallow, your guilt for believing the truth will make you gag and want to throw it up. Luckily I've digested it and shit it out on 4th street.
The illusion of my parents loving me has been properly squashed and debunked.

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Star_Above
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 4:33 pm 
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moose35 wrote:
Star_Above wrote:
Quote:
I wouldn't put it like that Star,

your parents love you but like everyone else they have issues and programs they are dealing with.
Is it really YOU they love? Why do they love you? What the fuck is "Love" anyway - Dig deep... This is the toughest pill of all to swallow, your guilt for believing the truth will make you gag and want to throw it up. Luckily I've digested it and shit it out on 4th street.
The illusion of my parents loving me has been properly squashed and debunked.
You just became my new favourite person today!

Listen up bitches, K-dawg didn't put "EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:" as his sig because he was tired of crushing ass and felt like working on his typing skills.

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The Kidd!!
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 4:33 pm 
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Star_Above wrote:
Quote:
I wouldn't put it like that Star,

your parents love you but like everyone else they have issues and programs they are dealing with.
Is it really YOU they love? Why do they love you? What the fuck is "Love" anyway - Dig deep... This is the toughest pill of all to swallow, your guilt for believing the truth will make you gag and want to throw it up. Luckily I've digested it and shit it out on 4th street.
Awesome, ShitCrane! :twisted:

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Aragorn
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 4:43 pm 
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Star_Above wrote:
You just became my new favourite person today!

Listen up bitches, K-dawg didn't put "EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:" as his sig because he was tired of crushing ass and felt like working on his typing skills.
Exactly. Only now are my eyes starting to open, and I've been here for almost half a year. Guess I didn't really want to face the truth on a lot of subjects.

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Flow83
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 5:08 pm 
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Telling someone to experiment to move into their emotions and embrace their demons is not talking about peace like a theory textbook. I'm only sharing what works for me, different perspectives and approaches that have literally moved me out of hopeless, stuck places. if you think it's a bunch of silly bullshit, that's cool. It's not like I'm selling a ebook here or saying one way is the truth, there is no absolute truth. If some words helped me, even though they are words, they may help someone else. Let them decide if it does.

I am enjoying the parent discussion by the way, thanks everyone.

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Flow83
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 5:21 pm 
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moose35 wrote:
Star_Above wrote:
You just became my new favourite person today!

Listen up bitches, K-dawg didn't put "EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:" as his sig because he was tired of crushing ass and felt like working on his typing skills.
Exactly. Only now are my eyes starting to open, and I've been here for almost half a year. Guess I didn't really want to face the truth on a lot of subjects.
The truth can be ugly, but at least it's the truth. I find when you really want the truth more than you want your version of it to be true, you start seeing what's really there. Then you can actually deal w it. Might suck balls for a minute but you see that you survive it, you can in fact handle it and then you don't have to spend the rest of your life putting so much energy in denial.

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Flow83
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 5:27 pm 
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Actually, the more you do it, you realize that the ugliness of it or prettiness of it -this is a judgment that comes from you. It's just what is. You can handle it. It doesn't turn everything into smiles and rainbows, but the truth really can set you free :)

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Jared
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 5:30 pm 
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moose35 wrote:
Star_Above wrote:
You just became my new favourite person today!

Listen up bitches, K-dawg didn't put "EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:" as his sig because he was tired of crushing ass and felt like working on his typing skills.
Exactly. Only now are my eyes starting to open, and I've been here for almost half a year. Guess I didn't really want to face the truth on a lot of subjects.
There must be certain conditions set before
we see them manifest. Relationships change people.

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peregrinus
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 9:48 pm 
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Star_Above wrote:
Quote:
I wouldn't put it like that Star,

your parents love you but like everyone else they have issues and programs they are dealing with.
Is it really YOU they love? Why do they love you? What the fuck is "Love" anyway - Dig deep... This is the toughest pill of all to swallow, your guilt for believing the truth will make you gag and want to throw it up. Luckily I've digested it and shit it out on 4th street.
following on...

What is love?

Is your parents definition of love the same as yours?
Are their definitions the same as each other?

If you cannot say what love is, how can you say they love you?

Do they love you, or what they want you to be? or what they get out of you? or what others think of you?

Again, what is love?

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The Kidd!!
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 10:12 pm 
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Quote:
What is love?
Baby don't hurt me...no mo... :mrgreen:

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Aragorn
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 10:13 pm 
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peregrinus wrote:

What is love?
Baby don't hurt me.

But yeah, exactly. A child is a reflection of their parents' and usually serves as an ego boost when they can proudly say "That's MY child". Not to mention them using their children for their own purposes and harming them in the process, which I saw with my aunt. Sick shit sometimes, when you look at it clearly.

I can literally see my parents' reactions to me change depending on what they want out of me. If my mom needs help on the computer or my dad wants help with his paper, I'm treated completely differently then when I ask something of them, even if it's one euro for a bus ride. It bugged the shit out of me because I never really knew why they did it and kept on thinking I was this horrible human being for wanting to have things my way some of the time, but seeing the truth has let me accept it and move on. I sometimes get the feeling that love and empathy is taught was taught to me so they had leverage and could guilt trip me. Again, scary scay shit but it is what it is.

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Flow83
 Post subject: Re: HATE
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 10:21 pm 
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This may be sappy from me, but ALL of that can exist because they are still human but that doesn't mean that there is literally no "love" for you underneath it-- it may not "conquer all" but I don't believe the behaviors automatically mean there is no "love" for you.

That said, I also don't believe it automatically IS there just because of the biology!

Without getting into thinking about what love is (baby don't hurt me) -- all i'm really saying is even if you can see all the evidence of the purely "utility" relationship w/ you, things they get out of you, ego, etc. - it doesn't automatically mean that that's ALL it is. As for what the other component is, and what amount is there (if any) - that's up for grabs.

Doesn't automatically mean there IS more to it, either :geek:

Disclosure- there's a lot of "love" in the relationship w/ me and my parents so I'm not even going to pretend for a second to know what it is like in other situations. I would describe this as a genuine concern for my well being and a desire for me to be happy/what is best for me. I don't believe this is related to external stuff. I haven't taken a cent from them in years and years, but feel this, whereas I know people who get a lot of material things from their parents and do NOT feel this, or it is given with a sense of guilt and obligation.

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