Natural Freedom

So.. I began practically with choice. I choosed that I'm going to believe that at some point my life is going to turn out for the better (health, money, girls..) - Even if it just would've been just unreal hope, I accepted that I may not have a control over what happens in my life, but at least I'm going to think and believe as if everything has it purpose and only thing I can do is hope for the best, expect the worst and do the best I can.. And everything is a matter of time.
Job offers and oppurtunities to make money started to show up recently, so my financial situation is better, and is probably going to be even better, if everything goes fine.
I found a way to work with my health (rediscovered, practically), so I'm able to influence my health big time, finally.
I met a new girl recently, she seems interesting to me so far... I don't know much yet, so time will show.
Before meeting that girl I accepted that meeting a girl I'd like may take days, months, even years and being ok with it.

A story for you:
Yesterday I went shopping for some food, I met on the parkbench a friend with his new dog, so I talked to him, played with the dog, talked about it.. Conversation lead soon to our friends, and he mentioned a party at one guy's house, when a drunk dude was really annoying overall and he kept on telling shit to a girl (Let's call her K.)
I said "Yeah, K. was so annoyed, she almost wanted to kill him "
Friend then said "I'm surprised that you didn't want to kill him. If I can remeber correctly, you liked her."
I replied to him "That's true, but what has been between K. am me practically ended some time later, so I don't really think about it."
We talked other stuff, then I bid him farewell and left to buy some food.

Few hours later, out of the blue that girl texted me, that she's bored at home and she doesn't want to stay there all weekend, so she asked me if she could take a train here and visit some of our mutual friends with me. So I said Ok, I had in moment a plan who to visit, a friend who lives nearby and his girlfriend I like to talk to, since we share interest in history of art, so I told K. she can come and I'll pick her on the train station (She doesn't remeber our town well yet)
So we spent the day at friend's place, talking all day - I had fun, I got to learn new things, regarding history of art, and other stuff, I read a book on making cocktails friend got at his place etc.. I felt everything is okay and as it should be practically. Then I and K. left, she happened to sleep at my place somehow, didn't plan that, it just went as it had by itself somehow..
So we watched two movies, the first was just a background for our conversation from beggining to end.. Then we decided to watch the extended version of LOTR trilogy, Two towers and the Return of the king.
But we still talked pretty much all the time, till 4. AM.. Then we went to sleep.. We slept practically few inches of each other, but I didn't really thought about touching her or anything and it seemes she didn't either.
Next day we proceed on watching LOTR, then I go with her to the train station and she tooks a train home.

It seems to me, that universe itself reacts to indiferrence.
The girl told me, she practically broke up with her boyfriend, since she didn't heard from him for about three weeks.. Maybe I could have get physical with her, maybe not, I don't know and I don't mind it happening or not - I was satisfied with the weekend just talking and connecting with these people.
I also felt a strange connection with this girl - The most accurate way I could describe it, would be something of liking to be with the person, talking to them, listening to them, enjoying their pressence, feeling safe with them.. This happens to some girls I had at some point of time not neccesarily sex, but something close to that.. And it's not like I have to have sex with them or anything, I just develop this bond with them.. I don't mind never seeing them again, but I like to see them sometime.
Is that indifference ?
I have a little different bond with some male friends too, but it's more about supporting each other in what we do, talking etc.
A person must share some really personal stories with me tho, for this bond to make itself.

And after the meeting with such a preson I almost always feel something I'd describe as stillness..

I don't know if writing this is of any use, it's not really "help please" post, but if you'd like post your thoughts aand opinions..

Indifference= To move from independence to interdependence.
=The capability to form a relationship and let it shrink or
thrive, whichever you choose, together.

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♫♫♩♫‿◦

Get out of jail card.....
She broke up with him? I doubt it.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Practically..
Yeah, I have the same feeling.

What makes you say that?

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

She still hopes secretly everything will be allright as it was at the beginning of the relationship..

Meaning that if a chick doesn't hear from me in 3 weeks, that would make her the dumpEE.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Oops I misinterpreted lol. I was thinking about her liking him and not breaking up at all. As in the whole break up story was fabricated.

Odd line for my brain to take

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

Interesting that your brain chose to take that line....

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Yeah its a projection

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

So basically you are her rebound, in a way she was using you to cope with the loss of her boyfriend
From the way you make it sound you definitely had your chance
This example by itself screamed at me, this was basically your way in right here. For her to even call you up and go out her way to see you in your town she was basically your X factor she felt potential from you IMO.
If you were conversing the whole time while watching the movie I'm going to out on a limb here and say she was waiting for you to make the first move be a man and take the lead pretty sure you would've been in a waterfall up in heaven that night . But hey this is good though for the most part sounds like you're returning to the fufe everyone knows and loves the more confident sure of himself fufe . But you truly would never know unless you try if you were truly indifferent or at least wasn't as attached as you once were you wouldn't have cared about the outcome and just let it go if everything holds true there will be a next time.
This the crucial part what did her body and emotions say versus her words that will tell you everything

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~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo

Resonance I pretty much knew it was like that, "escape everything" card.

Yeah, she may have been waiting for me to act.. But it didn't really come to my mind really - And as you are saying, if everything holds true, there will be a next time.. This girl took inniciative last time, so why wouldn't she this time, I thought..
Then I realised she may had guilty thoughts, about the bf so me taking inniacitive would make me guilty instead of her, or something, whatever...

So I'll see.. But I'm going to act only if I feel like it and thaat night wasn't the time really. Another chance is a matter of time so it doesn't really matter

Yeah I'm turning back to the old fufe, maybe fufe 2.0