Natural Freedom

When I was in High School, WWE (Wrestling) was hugely popular in my school. I believe this subject line, "Know Your Role & Shut Your Mouth, " was said by The Rock, can't remember for sure.

The point is that I'm finally starting to understand my role in the mating game with women. After reading a few genetic books (The Red Queen was one), introspection, and reading various posts throughout the forum, I've come to the realization that I choose among women who ALREADY choose me. The have first chooser advantage and based on their initial choice I can make my choice. This stark, but simple realization totally destroys my previous notion that I had to impress girls to get them (ala throw money around, etc.). This previous thought pattern simply does not compute with me and I finally understand why.

At the end of the day, the chicks will either choose me or they will not. Why would I try to impress them?

To be honest, as I've brought more issues to the surface my life for the time being has been worse, but when I look over the long term it has been improving. I liken this negativity to the burning sensation that you get when you pour rubbing alcohol on a cut to disinfect it. It may sting for a minute, but overall you are better off long term.

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"Truth is not something that can be truly and deeply understood by having it spoon-fed to you." - Adyashanti

Bravo

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

It's also a blessing in disguise. The pressure in on them not you.

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

This is something that at first I had a hard time accepting however like Morpheus said:
'It's also a blessing in disguise. The pressure in on them not you....'

on one hand it's not the 'get any girl you want' - something that a lot of PUAs say in their marketing pages. On the other hand: there are a lot of girls that you think you want-
but when you get to know them you find out that they have issues and stuff and that it's not really what you want...

Also as Kidd said: what you really want is often not what you think you want.
Example:
when it comes to physical beauty:
When you do observations you see that many times the girl that a lot of people see as a 10
will only be a 7 for You.

and while some girls see you as a 7, for other girls you might be an 8 or a 9...

I remember that when I was young I thought that Pamela Anderson is not so attractive. yet everyone around me kept telling me she is a 10 and I'm crazy for not seeing it.
so At one point I started to beleive that she is really a 10

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

And some girls everybody sees as 6 or 7 may be 10 for you.. That paid off the most for me personally

Fix'd

Yes its a a belief that has been drilled into you since god knows when so it will be sometime before you can truly accept it. My example is I went out last night with my boys along with a friend of ours we have known for a while now I believe she was into all of us. The indications of how she dances provocatively has me touching her parts of her body to feel on. I make light conversation just to keep it somewhat engaging but the other 2 I let handle it because they were on the hunt for ass more than I care to.

I felt she was attracted to me the most because I gave her (here comes Grinus favorite part) Space I didn't do nothing but conversate and felt on that big ol onion booty.

I didn't take it any further because my boy likes it and I know she is into him to but he has this ego thing where he must always be dominant especially when he is drunk. If he just calm down and let that pop off I'm pretty sure he would've bee in some ass but he basically ruined it for himself by doing what he was doing.

I personally did not care one way or the other and it felt good I think having this mindset is very important to have gain back the freedom from yourself.
Agreed once you get past physical beauty and find out more about her to see if she will bring up or bring down your life. Everybody has issues and I don't care what woman it is or how cool she is to someone else she is a pain and a headache on some level. The degree of what level of headache you put up with is on you.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder or your own perspective of what you find attractive. This one I still have somewhat of problem with because I still have this thing of seeking approval but it is not as strong as it use to be but I want to eradicate it completely so it will no longer be in the way.
Fix'd

Uggh I thought she had a hot body for a long time when I was a kid but I didn't know any better about the plastic surgery or implants back then but as I look back on it and see her now I don't know what I thought I saw in her, but she doesn't turn me on whatsoever anymore.

Actually no female has that kind of effect on me like they use to I still like tight bodies but it doesn't matter to me as much anymore. What gets me off now is flipping the script on these ho's Pussy doesn't fascinate me as much now soon I won't care at all.

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~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo

@ Resonance, that mindset will definitely help you. You are in a better position (not selling your soul, effort, and cash for pussy) and those women won't be as likely to manipulate you...it's as if you have a "Sniper's" view of how the dynamic unfolds....

I was out with a group of friends last night and saw some hotties, but to be honest and it was very subtle, I did not feel this knawing feeling like I used to that I 'need' to have this girl....I'm slowly improving

I wouldn't get that feeling from NG/Goddess worship

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"Truth is not something that can be truly and deeply understood by having it spoon-fed to you." - Adyashanti

Women are the least of our problems when your talking about true freedom. At least that's my experience. I mean I definately used to have that attachment because I too thought that having tons of women would make me happy but it has nothing to do with anything that's actually important to me. Natural freedom is the goal and women really don't have anything to do with that. Don't you agree?

I totally agree for me this is a stepping stone towards something great. I was just merely expressing how good it feels to be free of a vicious cycle and not have anymore concern about this particular area even if it means that women will no longer find me attractive.

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~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo

In the grand scheme of things, yes. But for me, one thing at a time.

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"Truth is not something that can be truly and deeply understood by having it spoon-fed to you." - Adyashanti

I got you. It's all out of habit when it comes to what we think is important or what were attached too. For me (maybe this will help you a little bit) when it comes to women I thought sex was a big deal. Like I thought I needed to have sex with tons of hot women to feel good or accept myself. What I did in order to let go of that belief was I just continued to reject that belief. Like when that thought would come up I would just stop it immediately and focus on something else. No those thoughts hardly ever come up anymore. It's really a non issue now. Having a women approve of me really doesn't matter to me at all now.

My biggest "problem" now I guess is just believing in myself and being 100% comfortable in my own skin. I have definately made a lot of progress with this mainly through meditation and I think yoga has taken me to another level of self awareness. Yet I still have those days where I have tons of anger inside of me and a feeling of negativity towards myself.

But yeah dude, the women thing is something that needs to be dropped if you feel a really strong attachment for. I like the ideas of Brent when it comes to women like not pursuing. But I don't actually worry about that shit anymore cause the way I look at it now, I have much bigger things to worry about.

Yeah I totally agree with that too. The funny thing is some guys tell us that when you do become indifferent towards women that is when you start having a lot of success and guys believe this so they start to try and become indifferent in order to attract women. This is not true indifference because your not free from anything. You still have an agenda and your still playing yourself.

Great post NY!

When you let them choose you it's so easy, it's like fish in a barrel, you really don't have to do anything like you said.

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The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."

@mikeyswag do you do yoga in a studio? What type do you practice? I'm curious because yoga is something I've considered taking up.

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"Truth is not something that can be truly and deeply understood by having it spoon-fed to you." - Adyashanti

One day I just found some DVDs in my basement. My mom must of bought them or something so I just do it at home. I bought a yoga mat for $5. The DVDs are labeled "yoga for relaxation", "yoga for flexibility", "for strength", for physical, mental, and emotional health". I have a bunch of them.

It definately opened up a new kind of awareness of my physical being. Like when I stayed consistent with it and made sure I was doing it 3-4 times a week I got better and felt like I could feel a lot of tension being released.