"I mean here's the thing, we all look at the outside world and think that we need this thing. Well if you look closer, you'll find, it's not the thing you want, but the emotion that you think you're going to have when you get the thing. So why not just skip the process and just feel the way you would feel if you already had it, then it really and truly doesn't matter. This is how you leave the realm of wanting, and step into having. In this place, you'll find that it doesn't matter whether you get it or not, that it's irrelevant. You'll also find, at least in my experience, that the thing you were wanting, now just seems to fall in your lap. But that's what's so tricky about it. It no longer matters and you really don't give a fuck if you get it or not, because you feel like you already have it anyways. Prove it to yourself."
so if a want 100 girls, it's not the girls but the feeling of happiness or the feeling of being a true man what i'm seeking, so instead of working on having these girls, i have to feel like a true man?
did i understand it rigth
Bottom line: Improve yourself for YOU...because YOU deserve a better life and lifestyle. This will attract women to you like flies to shit by DEFAULT. Become borderline self absorbed...then you will see some unbelievable shit.
Kidd explained in impressively catchy words
I will try to explain myself too. If I want girls in my life, like having an abundance of women to hang out and have sex with, I don't want the women or the sex itself but the feelings I get when I have them. And with "wanting" it is meant that: when I don't have women in my life I think my life lacks of something -> "When I finally have women in my life I will be happy."
Having beliefs like that has the effect that we are not happy with ourselves. We think that we need something outside to make us happy. Its the same with money or other stuff "When I have that big house I will be happy." Our happiness then is dependent on external stuff. Now when you finally had women in your life, it wouldn't make you happy (or only for a very short time) since wanting leads to more wanting. If you finally had women you would start to regard something else as the source of happiness like money or fame or whatever. Wanting is just a big illusion that WE created.
Ergo: Happiness comes from within. True happiness means being independent from outside influences, being happy is being happy with just oneself. When you are happy with yourself you still can and do desire things but having it or not doesn't affect your happiness. Jake mentioned the ice-cream analogy: Having women is like ice-cream. Eating ice-cream is a nice thing and sometimes we feel like desiring ice cream but if we don't get ice-cream its no big deal. It doesn't effect our happiness when we don't get it. Its the same with women. Having women is cool but we don't need it to be happy.
And as Kidd said, there's nothing more attractive for women than a man who loves himself and enjoys his life and is happy with himself. Everyone wants to be like that. Everyone wants to be happy. What is more attractive than someone who is like that?
Now I come back to the feelings-thing. As I wrote, we don't want the thing itself but the feelings when we finally have it. The good thing is that we are able to give us these feelings ourselves. Just imagine as completely as possible to have an abundance of women right now. Our mind is very powerful and we can get everything all the time (in our imagination).
Bottom line: Focus on being happy and satisfied with YOURSELF. Nobody can do that for you. The most important relationship you can have is to yourself.