Thanks guys.
Kidd made me aware awhile back that these shitty situations with women didn't 'just happen', I had a part to play in it too.
Looking back at my mistakes objectively I don't feel half as bad anymore because realistically, most women would have treated me the same so instead of lamenting on how bad they treated me I'm investigating where my mindset was at the time and how that caused negative reactions, not excusing their actions cuz some of it was downright cruel but just seeing these situations as they are.
With my mindset back then I set myself up to be an easy target for manipulation, they acted accordingly.
My reaction time is still slow but getting better than before having cleared some of this up, the closer I get to the core the residual stuff is easier to dissolve.