Natural Freedom

This is something that I've been struggling with for a bit and maybe others on here can relate. The idea of indifference gets thrown around a lot and for me at least it's still a concept that I have yet to fully internalize. You see logically we can understand something, but logic can also cause us to detach from our emotions and our gut feeling. To me indifference is a product of letting go, but letting go can become another form of resistance if done wrong.

I'm still trying to remove a bad habit of letting go in a false manner. What I mean by this is repression and my delusions that I have let go when I've detached. I've acquired a bad habit of escaping rather than accepting. I've learned that letting go is not a process, letting go naturally occurs when you accept. If you haven't let go of the issue, then you haven't accepted it and that's it. You can't force anything.

This leads me to my next topic, paranoia. Ever since I learned of indifference I became paranoid that I needed to let go of neediness, want, etc. and I went about it in a way of detachment. I was so afraid to not be indifferent that I didn't even realize that indifference wasn't being practiced. The ideas and knowledge I've collected in my head were utilized in a manner that didn't reflect indifference at all. I came to the conclusion that I'm not indifferent at all because indifference is a mindset and not actions.

So now I'm aware of the problem and acknowledge my shortcomings. I was so afraid of being needy that I didn't accept natural emotions and I acted pretty cold. These ideas and information on this forum though very beneficial, were taken too seriously by me and I recognize this now.

However, the biggest question on my mind is the subject of space. It's been noted a lot that space is important, but how do you fulfill the concept of space while also being indifferent? To me if you were truly indifferent you wouldn't follow such a concept, but instead do what your gut told you to do. That's what confuses me the most. I could be feeling as if I should talk to a girl, but then if I did that I wouldn't be giving her space to talk to me. How do you be authentic with your emotions while still maintaining indifference? If I gave her space just for the sake of her potentially talking to me that violates the idea of indifference and I'm no longer being authentic.

trust me you will be fine

When you develop indifference you will learn when to provide space, how much and when you're fucking up.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."