Natural Freedom

So this is just me and something I realized today. All the tactics you learn about observing and analyzing, they are a great skill no doubt, but don't let them be a crutch. What I mean by this is make sure you could be good enough without them. If a woman still shakes you up inside, you have to fix that. I should be able to cold approach a woman without giving a fuck, but that's not the case and now I see how the covert tactics were a crutch rather than a bonus. I used them as a way to avoid rejection, but rejection shouldn't bother you in the first place. That just brings me back to the idea of indifference and that it's a mindset, not actions. Every guy should be able to approach a chick without giving a single fuck, otherwise it's not true indifference.

Just to clarify this was MY fuck up. Nothing wrong with Covert Tactics. Sometimes the mind can devise little tricks to make you think that you are being indifferent, but you have to be honest with yourself and look for the truth. Rejection sucks, but it shouldn't affect us. I fell into the trap of taking this stuff too seriously to protect my ego and now I realize that I need to think a lot more about this.

Exactly the community focuses on actions rather than your lifestyle. Like a ying yang everything is balance

_________________
"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

Well...you should be able to interact with people and not needing anything from them, including women...but the ones you are going to have insane sexual chemistry with are the ones that show the most interest from the beginning.

Ryan

Not giving a fuck, is an extreme place to be at. I never been to place where I didn't give a thing/zero about this matter. The only things I could care zero about and leave me totally cold if I didn't get it, are things I'm not the slightest bit interested in. But since I like sex/dating/etc. with women, I on some level care a little bit about it, so I can't say I don't give a fuck, because I do give a small fuck about it. Thus I think it's normal that going up to chicks, makes you feel certain things (nervous, wanting to try to do well, etc.). Imo, it's just that you shouldn't keep continu hanging in that spontanious (emotional/bilogical/hormonal) response/feeling/emotion.

Not giving a fuck imo, is an extreme place (and not sure if realistic); and something leaving you 100% cold can imo only be the case for things you don't care about. If you like sex with women, it's imo normal you care at least a little bit about it, and thus it's normal it doesn't leave you cold (or emotionless/thoughtless) 100%.
To me, haveing an spontanious feeling/response to a rejection seems normal to me. Also it's biological measured, that loss in most people creates an automatic response in the brain and hormones (and thus emotions/feelings).
But I can say for me, that beyond that initial (automatic/spontanious) response (which often lasts like 10 or 20 seconds orso); I have managed to just leave it, and then in me it always just dissapeares/ends. With leaving it, I mean: not trying to do anything with or about it, not trying to change it, and most importantly not thinking about it (in any way, and especially not in away on how to fix/change it).
this makes/helps me to stay happy and content (or neutral at least), during my days.

_________________
There is no individual doer of any action or deed. Yet deeds are done and actions happen.

It seems a little scary but it's really not...I hardly care anymore whether or not I get sex with a girl, hell, most times I hold out and let them leave without getting any. But in return, it makes them want me even more. If I'm in the mood and she doesn't progress things, I'll pull her in and make her f- me. But like I said, I don't care whether or not anything happens. Even a small hint of caring can cause mayhem. Sex is just a fun bonus (like be treated to dessert after dinner), it's not a need and it's not anything you should really care about.

Rejection can be rough...I remember when it used to bother the f- out of me. But now I'm completely careless of it. Just remember, there is no reason to dwell on it. There are many reasons why a woman may reject someone. Just keep focusing on and improving yourself and you'll begin to see rejection decreasing. Here's a fun fact... Both Brad Pitt and Casanova went through periods of lots of rejection. It happens.

Ryan

I like this analogy! I already ate, so why bother going for a desert/sex. It's the interaction that matters, sex is optional.

Gonzo

I see what you are saying and I agree. I'm not talking about not caring and being cold. I'm talking about being carefree and allowing myself to enjoy it. As of right now anxiety pretty much destroys any enjoyment I might get out of talking to women and rejection would be another hard blow to my self esteem.

I can see how my wording could be interpreted as detachment, but trust me that is not my intention. I want to liberate myself so I can experience feelings and emotions that have been drowned out by my anxiety.
Yeah that's true indifference right there. I know I'll get there eventually because I'm not one to quit. I just remind myself that I'm growing every day because I refuse to give up.

Freespirit, what are you doing to grow in confidence and indifference?

I can suggest something for self esteem something that Nathaniel Branden indirectly touches on, don't place your self esteem in anything that can fail.

My director once told me "Place your self esteem in your creativity" a year later I got diagnosed with schizophrenia and had to go on medication that took my creativity away so its lucky I didn't do that! I did however put my entire life purpose and self esteem in to acting and went through a major depression not veing able to act anymore due to the medication.

What I'm saying is: becareful what how you value yourself and have a backup plan in case things don't go your way.

_________________
Don't be sexist, bitches hate that.

Good you cleared that up. To me reading your initial pots (might by my english, because it's not my 1st language), it seemed to me asif that was the goal you were aiming for
I dunno about what the best solution is for that.
For me I got over that through: experience (doing it) and changing my views/ideas about it.
My view on approaching chicks nowadays is (which works for me), something like. "I go to talk to a girl because I think she is interested in me (or I have the feeling she showed signs of that), and I like what I see on first sight also. With me just going up to her and blurting out a word, I've done my part."

_________________
There is no individual doer of any action or deed. Yet deeds are done and actions happen.

That's really good advice. I realized that on my own about a year ago. I had a knee injury which prevented me from skateboarding, which I loved to do. I was pretty upset and depressed for a while and then realized that you shouldn't base your happiness and self worth on anything outside yourself.

And to grow in confidence and indifference, I'm using subliminals to change my mindset. Before anyone tells me they don't work or it's a band aid, I'm following my own path and this is my decision.

They don't work!...it's just a band aid!....oh wait...

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

_________________
"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

I figured I'd get this reaction. At least you guys gave me a good chuckle.