@peregrinus
indifference is a side-effect of:
Not 'needing' her.
Not trying to get anything from her (manipulation).
To add to where I've come to now, concerning indifference
to the outcome
The "process" has basically 2 steps/happenings imo.
1. The first step/happening is: there is a "want/preference" (thus no indifference there yet) for something. The "want" can range from a low level of intensity being for instant: "A preference that you like"; all the way up to a "want" of a high level of intensity being for instant: "I need this so bad and I got to get this!"
2. The second step/happening is: there is indifference to the outcome and the outcome affects how you feel not at all or verry little; Or there is a high level of attachement to the outcome and not
getting it does cause much negative change to how you feel.
I think, that one of the largest thing: so to have the result of step 2 being indifference to the outcome. Is that I go in with a low level of "want/desire/preference", which can be achieved by things like: seeing the want in perspective, not overvaluing what it can bring, having equally as desired substitute thing to do, seeing that it won't change how happy tou are about yourself.
Because every time I have entered something wit a high level of want; Like "I need to have/experience this". I was overvaluing what it could bring me and was having way to high expectations, ususally I thought it would make me view myself more higher and be more happy about myself, etc.
When I went in like that; I was never indifferent or even somewhat relaxed about the outcome. Because I went in with to much "want" for it.
So i think going in with a low level of want, can make a hugh difference already.
Like was stated:
I enjoy spending time with women AND I am not attached to the outcome with any particular one.
I have posted that I enjoy spending time with women and sex.
I have also posted before that I could quite happily live the rest of my life without a woman or sex.
As I read it.
I seem to notice he goes in of it/starts of. With a low level of want for it. Like he stated: "I enjoy". And he doesn't use words that would imply a stronger level of (initial) "want", words like for instance: "I desire" or "I need" or "I want very much to".
And since he goes in with a low level/intensity of "want"
He comes out of it as a side affect, with an indifference towards the outcome.
I bet if he went in with a high level of want, like: I want this very much, or I need this, etc.. The side affect would then not be that he das indifference towards the outcome. Probably more the opposite, a strong attachement to the outcome.