Hi guys!
I have a question that maybe since I got here I didn't found and answer yet.
How can I differentiate my gut attraction from the idealized one, allow me to explain. The thing is I tend to do this shit in my mind so much it came to the point of annoying me big time, and I found myself punishing internally due to fantasies about girls I see that jock me subtly sometimes not so subtly, and obviously I form an attachment previous and without ever talking to them (I know how ridiculous is that!?). How can I let some space create in this recurrent and involuntary toughts, sometimes I feel trapped, and this is not nice, I actually want some freeing myself. I want to get rid of it, most of the time I let this shit be like (let the toughts run wild) I do not identify with this toughts but because they're allways here, they want me to tell me something, I just do not know what.
Actually when this girls actually stare at me or look at me, I feel in my gut like a blow so hard and I don't know what to do. Im actually very introvert dude, but I see this chicks whenever they have the opportunity came to proximity to me positioned in my line of sight, but I have so much shit in my head it comes close to trow up, or take a pill or something to annihilate this mindless bullshit.
I mean this is the situation what I've been strugging most of the time, every morning same bitch or some other in my head, then I see her in "real life", and well, sometimes I don't feel the same impact that in my mind or gut but it's the same story: Where I am like some master and I'm teaching her things, and they asking me things... like I'm some sort of guru or some stupid crap like that (this is the shit my mind comes up frecuently) like a teacher/student relationship, actually I feel sometimes dumb and very very awkard with myself by thinking this, but I cannot control it... I digressed, but actually this is the shit I think deserves most of my attention, any suggestions to let go of this?, I let the mind speak but It tends to revert to this needy imaginary "cassete" I want to be ok with this or without it.
I feel so pussy with this shit.
Thinking too much leads to indecision, I am trapped in this shit.
Like he who hesitates, waits, and waits... and then masturbates.