Natural Freedom

thanks rkd1990

Kidd, you have a problem with patience sometimes or maybe someone has pissed you off today- but don't take your shit out on Me.

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

Re-read your first comment that set me off...you weren't posing a question...you were being snooty, eye roll emoticons and all. Why? I have no idea...then you attempt to clean it up after you realized you stepped on it with that bullshit ass 'rephrase'...really? So now I have the attitude problem because you think rkd is backing you up?

You better rein it in man.

EDIT: Actually...I do know why...it's because you were butthurt that I said you read too much. I would think you would know better than to put me to the test at this point.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

I didn't put you into the test and I did phrase it incorrectly the first time (I was typing too fast while I was doing a school paper on the side- maybe that's why I missed rkd's first points...) I don't know why you concluded that.

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

Read the flow of the convo...it's all in the context.

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

I have a question about this...
Could this be because of the way society programs men? I mean, if a men doesn't get sex he is seen as a loser by society. If a women has sex with lots of men she is seen as a slut. Maybe this is one of the reasons men chase women. Because otherwise society sees us as losers and that would hurt our ego?
Understood. But maybe men can't wait because society tells us men have to have sex? So we want it fast to gratify our ego, so that society doesn't see us as losers? I mean if a men gets lots of sex (preferably fast) he is usually seen as quite a hero. A woman in the same situation would be seen as a slut.

You're on the right track, but you're on the wrong train.

Society is not programming men to do this shit to a large extent.

I do admit society has a strong influence, but society isn't with you 24/7.

The family living situation is programming men to do this shit.

Think about a baby. When the baby cries it receives a bottle immediately, the diaper is changed

immediately, the baby is held immediately. Do you get my drift? Doctors are recommending now that

you should let your baby cry itself out for a longer period of time because the baby can develop

dependency issues. Now imagine 50 million babies with dependency issues that grow up into adult

size. Do you see you how the family shapes the child? Most children, when they are rewarded, are

given their reward immediately in the forms of candy, toys, videogames etc. Can you imagine what

13+ years of immediate gratification can do to mind.

If you're thinking the way I'm thinking then you can see how the whole reward system shapes the

mind to like immediate gratification. Second, immediate gratification is a stronger stimuli than

delayed gratification because neuro-pathways won't be established as strongly. Think in terms of

Pavlov's dogs. They were trained by immediate gratification. It is only after immediate gratification

is established that a person can realize delayed gratification. So, most men stuck in this system

of chasing women haven't broken their self of the immediate gratification drive. I wrote somewhere

else on the forum of why men chase women. There are many reasons. Gratifications and drives

are just one facet.

Very nice, rkd.

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

I was going to post a reply to this, now I realise I cannot be arsed.

Sniper: go back and read this thread SLOWLY at least 10-15 times, without doing anything else at the same time.

Then ponder what else you have been taught as well.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Thanks very much for your reply, rkd1990. It makes sense now. Thank God my parents didn't spoil me that much!

"it's my natural sex drive" is an extremely easy and dangerous excuse.. mostly because men don't realize that it is one. That's just "the way it is" and so it's seen that of course it is natural that I chase women, that I need them, etc.

Most men don't even question it.

Of course there is a natural sex drive but EVERYTHING else attached to it, your value as a man, how cool you are, the belief that women hold *anything* that you cannot give to yourself (well, emotionally ) these have all been imprinted into men and on top of that there is domestication and programming that add layers of guilt, shame etc. making it one big clusterfuck.

ALL of that is unnatural.

The huge, huge and sad irony in all of it is that these things.. the very things that make one so attached to sex and create so much pain and suffering around this area of women are the very things that push the women and sex away.

This is a very cool thread and I obviously have to go through it more.. the only thing I'd throw out there is that I'm not convinced that women LIKE this either, even though many do use this for manipulation, at the core they want the man who would not be manipulated by it. I don't think the dynamic is deeply satisfying for them at all either (at least it certainly doesn't seem that way from the female friends in my life or in the general dynamic in society) but it is so rare to find what is really desired that you might as well get what you can out of the shitty system. That's my thought on it.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTXz8xMaJi4

Very succinctly stated...I think you're gonna fit in fine around here.

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Probably the most powerful shifts I've ever had have come from a teacher who talked to me and worked with me about this.

The rules of your tribe are made very clear when you are young.. even if not expressly communicated to you especially as a young kid you pick everything up.

If you rock the boat as a young kid, if you upset the family (the tribe) it literally triggers the fear of death. Being disowned as a kid, biologically means death.

This can happen with other events as you are growing up. Modern society is a big tribe in many ways. You do something "wrong" and it triggers you deeply - you make a promise that is ingrained in your nervous system never to be that way again.. we cut off all sorts of aspects of ourselves and crave that safety and approval thinking we are dependent on other sources for it. You grow up and you lose touch with how deep that impact is, and all of a sudden it's "why can't I just go do xyz" - "why do I keep doing xyz?" - why can't i just say screw it and not care about women right now?

Because the behavior, the dependency, whatever it is is very ingrained and associated with life and death. That is why you can have all these aha moments and read about the matrix and get all of this shit intellectually and for more than half the guys who do it, they just have this understanding but not too much actually changes. It takes more than an intellectual understanding to undo attachments and depencies that were formed when you were a little kid AND WERE QUITE REAL at that age. You can have this shit down mentally and read about it til you are blue in the face but a hot girl walks up to you, or a step further does or says something that triggers you, that doesn't magically all go away because you have a mental context for it.

You gotta go in and look deeper at what sex etc. means to you and what you associate with it to see that you're the one giving it that meaning.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTXz8xMaJi4

Thank you sir!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTXz8xMaJi4

This^^
very good

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

Yes

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."