Numbness is a feeling. There is a subtle quality to it. Because you get something so subtle and not what you expect, you immediately label that as suppression, numbness, and generally approach it as a problem to be fixed which shuts everything down. You don't welcome that numbness probe into the nuances of it, or ask what might be there that feels the need to be blocked. If that's what it is doing it is doing so for a reason- which again, you can only get directly from the source.
It is a nice protective mechanism, it lets us say "well I have this special problem where I am numb to my emotions, so I need some special process or thing I need to discover" which is how it avoids confrontation. The good news, and the bad news, is that you are not special and the process is essentially the same
Also, I wouldn't assume how you are coming off to women nor worry about it. There are a lot of things it can be, and 'i'm intimidating to them' is the most flattering for our egos but it is something you check in with, it may or may not be the case. Women are not the barometer for this, your inner state is. The rest comes from that.
I didn't mean intimidating as too much to handle, but, well, they are afraid I will tell them to fuck off too hard and be only cold to them without any affection or feeling.
I actually very strongly believe that if my inner state is ok and I don't have any blocks around the neccesarry stuff, that there is nothing standing in my way to get women
If that's what it is doing it is doing so for a reason- which again, you can only get directly from the source.
I understand what you guys are doing - I tried it a few times, even guided through but.. I find things may happen while doing it, but I also felt like nothing is happening. It feels like scratching a surface and not going deeper, because I don't want to - I wouldn't know what to do with emotions out of control. It happened to me once and I was dysfunctional for 2 weeks and depressed really hard after that - No amount of allowing helped me through that..
I also have EXTREMELY hard time gcalling and watching emotional issues on command especially when told by another person. Most of the time the issue hides or masks and the process can't go on, Imho at all, because there is endless spin of different things and nothing gets really looked at..
Only looking at the issue, the emotion(s) and logically trying to see what is the issue trying to protect me from or get me. Seeing it as a mechanism operating because it hat is still believes it is profitable to be doing what it does.
I solved "depression" with this.
You remeber how I used to self-loathe a lot - This happens when I have no idea what to do with my emotions. My highest priority is being functional - Now. Not after a few seconds or minutes sitting and hoping on faith that somehow the emotion will make up it's mind and let go. No. I lead it and when it's seen that there's no profit in doing what it's been doing, it let's go.
I am grateful for another, your perspective. It confirmed what I've been thinking today - That I have to solve the overall-numbness issue as I did lot of other issues, that there is no other way getting around, and this is the harsh, cold truth. I was having second-doubts because of the subtlety of the issue. And also, coming from and experience with the "depression", I know that if you live at one state 24/7 all your life, it is hard to comapre to what is normal and healthy and what is not..
I wish I could do what you guys are doing - I'm going to continue some sessions I still have with Ugi if he's interested, but in the end... The problem with what I'm doing, is that it feels like polar opposite of what you are doing. I don't know if you can do the same at the same time.
I tried FasterEFT after a long time again and I can't handle it - Had a session and I had to spend about 2 hours sitting and figuring what is behind the feeling of hopelesness, fear, etc - I was told only to tap, which I did for about 20 minutes with no change, so I did what I know worked and it worked - It was an issue of having to be certain of everything.
It feels in the end simmialr to what you are doing - The most efficient way I've found out is seeing the emotion the most precisely possible and letting the words come to describe what it wants. Now reading this it feels like the same that you do lol, but I know it's a little bit different
It's the attitude.. But If I didn't have the goal-oriented problem-solving attittude, I'd be careless even indifferent (in a not so productive way) to my problems and nothing would be done, only life lived still dysfunctional because of the issues..
Sadly I don't know anybody who is doing the same thing as I do. I found this process out by pure blind faith in myself, when at one point I was sitting down and I said to myself "I have to figure this out now". And after a while I did