Natural Freedom

So, all you gotta do is work on being the best man you can possibly be...physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially.

...

Does this mean that you are stuck in a holding pattern until all of the boxes are checked off? Hell no! Potential being realized is just as potent as realized potential if you know how to portray it. It all boils down to how you feel about YOURSELF...your un/subconscious vibe is what really does all of the work. The message I preach is so simple yet so powerful it boggles MY mind sometimes.

...

It's not about wanting/needing approval from women...it's about wanting/needing approval from YOURSELF. You know when you aren't living up to standards that you know you could be living up to.

...

So, why NOT get your shit together? The bonus is that during that process you become someone that women want to date by default!

Kidd :
The PRACTICAL way to stop approval seeking behavior is to dig deep to determine why it is so important to you that others approve of you and/or your behavior in the first place. Maybe you didn't get enough attention as a child? Maybe you always wanted to fit in but didn't? I'll bet there is an underlying issue that needs to be identified, addressed, and then promptly squashed.

--

Check the other posts of Kidd and Grinus.

And : Tap your subconscious - One way
Inner work preferences

The Kidd!! : Fill the void with yourself.

...

Yeah. Learning to be your own best friend has nothing to do with self intimacy...if anything, it's about self acceptance. Maybe Sniper is confusing intimacy with self love?

You basically become dependent on yourself for emotional support...you are no longer needy, or attention/approval seeking because you yourself is all the approval you need. There is a difference between liking/appreciating human interaction and NEEDING it...I no longer NEED it because I've gotten used to being my own best friend.

Once you get to this point, you will no longer ACT like you don't give a fuck...because you truly WON'T. That's when life becomes VERY interesting inDEED.

Kidd :
Basically, you do whatever it is you want to do...minus the feeling that you can't do things without someone else company. Like some people just can't go to a movie theater by themselves and enjoy a movie...I have no such problem. Just get into yourself.


Grinus :
If I feel like going somewhere then I go, if I am alone makes no difference.

Restaurants, Bars, Cinema, Walks, Museums, Gallery's, Sailing, Shopping - the list is endless.

If you can have fun on your own that is a good thing.

I keep having people tell me how brave it is to go out alone, they would not dare to for fear of feeling uncomfortable. Quite amusing, but very true. Especially women.

There are quite a few things which I prefer to do alone, without company, sometimes someone else gets in the way.

Kidd :
Knowing your worth directly correlates to your overall self image and self esteem. Knowing your worth means you won't settle for anything less than you feel you deserve. I've turned down PLENTY of pussy because I felt like the bitch they were attached to wasn't WORTH my time.

Knowing your worth dictates what you will and won't put up with. It will make you absolutely indifferent on a whole new level. I will stop dealing with a broad on principle ALONE...I don't care HOW fine she is...and won't think nothing else about it. Not because I'm TRYING to be indifferent, but because I truly don't care.

It will all gel when it needs to...you'll see.

...

YOUR principles...whatever they may be. To thine self always be true.


Grinus :
Have them.

Stick to them.

Make sure they are because you want them, not because of external influences.

Be prepared to do things which others advise against, in order to be true to your principles.

If something is against your principles, do not do it, walk away and know why Be secure in your choice.

How do I deal with that ?

well sure, but.. Any specific steps ?

All the stuff that is stopping you, or getting in the way:

Let it Go!

You already know what it is, you have the answers within yourself.

I can't make up for the past, go back and experience missed opportunities or create new ones to make up for that lacking feeling, undo my mistakes, take revenge into my own hands against those who have wronged me, everytime I attempt any of these (minus time travel) it's always worked against me in an ironic way. But I can forgive myself, acknowledge my mistakes, move on and become the best man I can be and become my own best friend.

Last night I made a mistake and for the first time I didn't beat myself up, as shitty as I felt for it I saw this mistake as an opportunity to address this issue once and for all, to shift perspective and handle it maturely, I had a real heart-to-heart with myself and heard some shit I didn't want to hear, for the first time that little boy inside of me took these words not as insults but as honest and constructive criticism, and he said "I forgive you".

I see these posts about tests from women, but the ultimate test comes from life itself, your own journey, life is the test. The most important thing for me to do now is to take more time to address my core issues, not to seek revenge or try to make up for my past which I have failed miserably in my attempts, if patterns occur in anything it's something screaming for attention, in my case some things to address that have been long overdue for attention.

Neglecting that will cause something to come up and remind you to get your shit together, it's the most important step in moving forward, the first vital step.

Stop doubting yourself

Your gut instinct is right, listen to it clearly and without noise.

It was developed over many thousands of years, many many generations of people who successfully survived their environment, attracted a woman and SUCCEEDED in mating and producing offspring.

Your ancestors WERE survivors.

Your GENES are those of survivors and people who prospered in their environment.

You do have it within you, to be happy, to achieve things, to survive and prosper.

Have faith in yourself.



Let all the other stuff go.
Let it go

If you have read my posts, you will have noticed that I talk a lot about 'space' - creating space and allowing space to exist.

I have done quite a lot of experimenting with the notion of space, both by myself, with a single companion and within groups of people. There have been some surprising and very pleasant results and observations that have come out of it.

Some of the most profound were on my own, creating space for myself. Not hounding myself with thoughts, observations and other things. Simply put, existing - being in a place and being present with it without needing to think about it, label it or describe it to myself.

Thoughts will come to you, as you describe above - the key in my view is not to try and 'grab' and 'hold onto them' - let them flow in and out of you. Like water flowing over you. When I try and hold them or think about them it destroys the effect, if I watch them like an observer without interacting with them it leads in some quite unusual directions and not usually ones that you could anticipate.

There is a thing in quantum mechanics, where you cannot measure something without affecting it - this is described by the tale of Shrodinger's Cat (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat)
I see this in a similar vein, as soon as you think about what is happening then you change the flow, the flow is lost. You have to let it happen, trust it will be ok, your thoughts will do it all on their own they do not need your help.

In the modern world we are taught to go a million miles a second, not to take time to just be, to constantly be busy and doing something. Break the mould, take some time and just be, exist with nature without wanting to shape or control it, merely be part of it, let it happen.

On another slant:
Femininity loves to fill space, it will take any gap you let exist and fill it. If you leave no gap then there is nothing for them to fill.

How can they fill a space if you are already filling it?

How can you enjoy the space if you constantly fill it?

This is also why I believe it is VERY important for men to spend time away from ALL women. Either with MEN or with themselves and nature.