I want to ask you something: what are in this case the signs of "aloof/cold/bitchiness/queenofbitchland" she gave you at the beginning? I mean physically/body language/face expression... (a part that the true evidence was her asking you personal question like your name
).
So I left just a little bit out. The first time I ever saw this girl was very brief with no personal interaction whatsoever though it did set the stage for the way all of this took place and actually makes sense why she's probably been over the top in being cold/aloof.
Some nights they have 2 hostesses working this restaurant. So I come in to order takeout and a different girl is there. She immediately is all over me and just submits her femininity to me from jump. We chat for 10 minutes or so off and on as other customers are coming in and she's helping them. She's telling me some personal/vulnerable stuff about herself and kinda gushing over me and how calm and carefree I am about the fact I just flew back into town and immediately found out my car wouldn't start. She had been telling me how she had an issue with her car a few days ago and I had just landed, got home, and my car didn't start but wasn't concerned which apparently showed and impressed her even more than she had been already. Fast forward to like 10 minutes in and the cold/aloof girl must have come back from break or something. She walks up as I'm talking to this other girl and just kills the vibe. The other girl kinda went cold around her, as she's the alpha female type/popular girl in high school. I didn't really care so I just let it go and took a seat while I waited for my food. I've actually yet to run into the first really feminine girl again, she told me she had another job so I assume she only hostesses at this restaurant 1 or 2 days per week or something. Standoffish girl probably just assumed I started the conversation and was hitting on the other girl which is the opposite of what actually happened but as she only caught us 10 minutes in she could do nothing more than make assumptions. She was likely waiting for me to start hitting on her like she probably assumed I had done first with the other girl.
Besides this tho, how did I know she was acting cold/aloof/bitchy but was actually still interested? Call it a gut feeling because I didn't know for sure, it was certainly possible that she wasn't interested but given the info I had previously left out on top of the fact that she's the hostess at a restaurant and is paid to be friendly to customers...the fact that she's kinda going out of her way to give me somewhat cold energy is telling. It's like she's trying to get me to make her warm up to me by begging for her attention or flirting with her in an attempt to open her up rather than just showing up already opened up/feminine like the other girl did which is why she got attention from me. She could have just been having a bad day though, the more interactions I've had with her now thought I think she was just acting cold.
My sensi is jujitsu said something that stuck with me the other day.
"We learn 87 throws before black belt. How are you supposed to remember that many? You don't in the end you learn it's one throw"
I've spent year honing my observation skills, and usually the really attractive girls have too good of a poker face for me to read. It's pretty impressive actually, but like lucid said it doesn't matter.
It's also ironic they craft a distant attitude to get attention but smart guys don't pay attention to girls that show no interest. Attention is the currency of girl land especially attention from the right guy, control the supply.
Great post!
Exactly, it really doesn't matter. I took note she was cold to me only in the sense that I wasn't going to show her any real attention til she showed me something new about herself.
Girls want attention from guys really badly and most guys give it out like Halloween candy. Any attention you give a girl should be at the level she has earned, you should never be gawking at and/or fawning over some girl that will barely look at you. Now while the vast majority of girls desperately want attention from Men, they're mostly getting it from boys in adult bodies. Girls don't value free attention for no reason, they take it, add it to their already overflowing ego, and spill it all over the place on almost everyone else in the area. When they run into a REAL MAN though, a man that treats them accordingly and gives them the attention they actually deserve which is many cases is little to none....this will be the guy they actually NEED the attention from and their programming will start going haywire trying to figure out how to get it. It doesn't dawn of some of them for awhile that to get the attention they crave all they have to do is drop the facade and be real, be vulnerable and feminine. And some haven't done it in so long they don't know how to truly be that anymore because they've covered it up with so many layers of social programming, they're only used to being the fake version of it and to be truly feminine is actually emotionally painful for them....so they don't do it anymore despite the fact it's subconsciously what they are always being pulled towards(assuming the environment is safe to do so).