Today I would like to share an experience that illustrates a change in external behavior due to an internal shift.
The first example is me conversing with a girl about a year ago.
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=3314
This is a girl who I had been **TRYING to get with for a long time. I've known her for a long time. She was the first person I had sex with, fucked her once, haven't fucked her since. I had a very peculiar relationship with this girl. I think I projected emotions related to my relationship with my mother onto her. You'll see in the second conversation she talks about how I used to bully her. That is something I am not proud of, especially because I recognize the source of it. I'm not too hard on myself about it though, I mean I was only like 14 at the time. Plus I've mended that with her, as best as I can.
I was not able to restore our friendship until I came to grips with the source of my behavior.
Here is a conversation I had with her earlier today...
Her: What r you up to for Spring break
Me: Going to Havasu next week. Hbu
Her: I'm going to palmsprings for a few days and going home.
Her: When will you be home? I just explained the way you bullied me in 8th grade to my friends and they were like holy shit hahaha
Me: Satuirday-> Tuesday. Your friends probably think I'm evil
Her: Okay same! Yaaay let's hangout.
Her: They do
Me: Well they don't really know me. Question is, do you think I'm evil
Her: Haha no i think you are just mean sometimes. But I forgive you.
Me: Being mean is one thing but bullying a friend is another. I am glad you forgive me and that's in the past. See you next week
Her: Lol Jdogg love yaaa. Can't wait yaaaaayyyyyy
I haven't seen this side to her in a long time. Looks like the sexual attraction is there and the circumstances seems like they could be favorable to her.
She seems to be testing the stability of the branch. I am very curious to see where this goes.