Natural Freedom

Saturday I decided to go to a nearby bar, where I recently started hanging out at. I was going to meet up with some friends there, but they ended up not going, so I said whatever. I still ended up going by myself. I just chilled and watched people play pool for a while. I only knew one person there and I quickly made acquaintances with some regulars.

As the night progressed, people began pouring in. Later in the night, the bar almost becomes a club. Lots of people show up and they begin dancing. They had a DJ and everything. I was completely new to an environment like this, so I was a bit intimidated to go to the dance floor. I stayed in the pool area, then asked an acquaintance at the pool area how he would go about catching bitches in this environment, just to hear how he would go about it. He instructs me to just go up and introduce myself and rush towards the number. I told him that I don't want to get a bitch's number if she's not feeling me because it's a waste of my time. And that I'd rather give a girl my number to see if she's serious. We eventually agree to disagree.

After that conversation, I began to start moving around. I left for the dance floor and pretty much stood at a corner just chopping it up with a random dude I met and his crew. We eventually dispersed and I did something I've never done before. I began to dance, at first I was just feeling the music and bobbing my head and then I started naturally dancing. I probably looked like an idiot when I was dancing, but I didn't care because I was having a good time. Eventually some girl began grinding on me while I was dancing behind her. I didn't ask for a number or tried to hook up with her, because I was already having fun with or without her.

Confession to the game:
Before I began dancing at the dance floor and having fun, I REALLY wanted to talk to some females. I went up to one female and tried to strike a conversation with her. I felt like she wasn't feeling me, so I decided to respect her time, mine, and I also decided to respect the game by just excusing myself. While I was at the dance floor I also tried talking to some girl but it was too loud. I asked a girl what her name was and because I couldn't hear her, she spelled her name out in sign language. I thought it was extremely hilarious. Because of the fact that I couldn't hear her or have a proper conversation with her I just left because I wasn't going to deal with that type of condition in the environment.

Basically I know that I was wrong for having the mentality of "catching bitches." I placed way too much focus on catching a bitch. I still find it extremely hard to shake the old mentality that I had of trying to impress women or trying to chase after them. I'm slowly calibrating to the ideology of letting a female choose me. At the bar I was debating whether or not to cold approach women. I felt that it would be counter-intuitive to just pull a female's arm and just spit some fly shit in her ear.

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"Any good pimp is his own best company. His inner-life is so rich with cunning and scheming to out-think his whores." -Iceberg Slim

Why are you finding it extremely hard to shake the old mentality when the opposite of what you use to do is what made the girl come to you

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The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."

You're right. I would say that I have one foot in the door, but I'm not completely in yet. I've always been used to just straight approaching women. I've always had a "predator" mentality when it comes to women as well, so I'm still trying hard to get rid of the old habit of approaching randomly. Maybe I'm just extremely impatient, but I feel like I won't get anywhere just waiting for a girl to show me signals that she likes me.

To sum up what I'm trying to say.. I still feel the need to approach women because I don't just want to hang out with my drink and look around waiting for someone to notice me, when I can easily just go up to a girl that I find attractive.

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"Any good pimp is his own best company. His inner-life is so rich with cunning and scheming to out-think his whores." -Iceberg Slim

^^THIS

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Yet another "you are either chasing women or standing there like a stiff looking around." disease. Come on man, the bullshit in that is self obvious.. And the better alternative is in your own story YOU JUST WROTE.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTXz8xMaJi4

Go out just to have a good time, to enjoy your free time. Do whatever you feel like doing, without associating it with women.

No need for agendas, goals or attachment to certain outcomes.

And, as Flow said, black and white thinking will get you nowhere.

What about neither approaching, nor looking around in order to find a woman, but just observing your environment (not only "potential targets", but also the dynamics between people, their posture, gait, arm swing, clothing etc.).

For most of human history, we have been very good observers because we had to. Observation was crucial for survival. Unfortunately, we are terrible observers today. An interesting article on the subject: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spy ... t-observer.

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The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it's conformity.

Thanks for putting everything into perspective guys. I'm finally starting to calibrate well. I went out last weekend and took everyone's advice of not worrying about women and just doing my own thing. I took some time to just observe the environment and people. I really benefited a lot from all of the responses I've gotten.

I've learned so far not to invest myself so much into women. Because when you invest a lot and you try really hard and you don't get anything back you begin to feel like your game isn't good enough and you start doubting yourself. So from now on I'm not going to try so hard and just see where things lead me.

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"Any good pimp is his own best company. His inner-life is so rich with cunning and scheming to out-think his whores." -Iceberg Slim