As of late, I've started to see some real results in how girls are reacting to me. They are approaching me, subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) jocking me and pretty much just treating me accordingly. My front and clout have come so far since I first posted a few months ago; however, I still have some real problems that I need to deal with.
My main problem is adjusting to this increased attention from girls. Sometimes when sexual tension gets high and I know the girl wants me, my vibe will just switch on me. It's almost like the pressure to make a move starts to weigh in on me and I can sense a conscious shift in vibe. If I realize it, then the girl most certainly can feel it to. Though the vibe shift is very subtle and most times I will shift back to my normal, relaxed self. The shift in vibe doesn't really hurt me as much as the inaction caused by this shift in vibe. I talk to girls a lot at parties, so when I don't act within a certain window of opportunity they'll just go off and find someone else to talk to/flirt with. This doesn't really affect me that much in the moment, as I'd rather just enjoy myself at the party than worry about copping some chick (they don't really offer intriguing conversation anyways), but after the fact, I have realized that this has happened to me numerous times and I wouldn't mind indulging in some of the pussy that is being offered to me fairly regularly.
I believe an explanation for this vibe shift is a fear of success. This is a demon that I have to confront and further understand because come to think of it, this fear of success has held me back in more aspects in life than just women.
In the moment, some of the excuses i make for myself for my inaction are: "she's not pretty enough for me" "here is not a good place" "She just wants me for ego validation" "Do i want to deal with the after effects of doing this? (heightened expectations, boyfriend drama)"
In summary, my problem that I'm currently dealing with is executing once the girl is attracted to me. And I already know the answer...trust my gut. It's just something that I'll have to work through.
And then for the second part of my post, I have a text conversation that you guys are free to analyze and critique. This was with a girl that i used to really like who i lost my virginity to my freshman year of high school. After we screwed, I got really, really invested emotionally and i basically did everything wrong that you can do. I mean, I ROYALLY screwed this one up. But hey, you live and you learn and it was that failure which spurred me to find the PUA forum and later this forum. This girl is highly intellectual and she seems really savvy to game and sensing which guys are legit and which are messing with that atari. I even remember a conversation my friend showed me where he asked her why she wasn't down for me anymore after we fucked and she said "he wasn't who i thought he was...logically he's right for me but I just don't feel for him that way anymore".
Anyways, we didn't talk much at all really for the past 2 years but as of late we have been talking and sort of rekindling the chemistry we once had. We have a lot in common and have known each other for like 6 years so conversation comes pretty natural as long as my vibe is right. She knows me pretty damn well, probably moreso than many of my guy friends, and probably a lot more than I'd like but oh well.
She's got a boyfriend and she has a track record of 100% faithfulness to past boyfriends as far as i know (she may be extremely discrete and i know she appreciates her privacy...one thing I did wrong was i told a few too many of my friends that we boned and she found out and got pissed...Damn ego
). Though she's faithful, she jocks hard on me and other dudes. Pretty much she's a flirt; she gets what she wants and what she's probably looking for is ego validation. Without further ado, here it is.
Me: Hey K what's up
Her: yoo nothin what r u doing
Me: watching a movie at my house. Do you have E's copy of the Paper that's due
Her: No sorry. But i think its just a hw paper
Me: i know but im not trying to write 10 pages. Are u sure u dont have it she said she gave it to u
Her: Nope she didn't. It's 5-10 pages
Me: meh alright then (anticipating end of conversation here)
Her: It won't take that long
Me: I know biotch i just don't want to do it. I got better things to do like smoke weed and such (jokes)
Here we start incorporating emoticons into the convo so whatever is in brackets is my translation of the emoticons into words
Her: Talk to the [hand]
Me: Why don't you talk to the floor ya short twat (she's like a 5'2" asian chick, i always make fun of her for it haha)
Her: stop being a [baby]
Me: I'm only 17 im allowed to be. Why don't you stop being a boring [faceless emoticon] bleeeeeeeeh
Her: I am not boring!!!!
Me: My point exactly. all you ever do is [whine] and [complain]. Why don't you get off your ass and formulate some form of personality or else you'll never get a [ring] (I'm pretty notorious for being extremely open/blunt about myself and others)
Her: you're annoying me
Me: Good. Now you can stop texting me
End of convo. kind of just shooting the shit. My intent was to get that paper from her and end the conversation but it lingered for a bit and i wanted to test my responsiveness on a chick that used to have me wrapped around her finger.
Oh one more thing, i suspect this chick fronts HARD to try to weed out the symps from the pimps (subconsciously of course) because i have noticed similar fronting behavior from her in the past but I'm not certain. Let me know what you guys think, thanks for reading!
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