Natural Freedom

This post was inspired by the post about getting women to pay.When i'm relating with someone I expect the same type of respect that I would give that person. I know that no one is perfect but I have standards for the people I have in my life. If they don't meet those standards that's fine i'll just choose to spend my time with someone else who does. For example, my birthday was last week and I was celebrating at a restaurant so I needed to know how many people were going to be in my party. So I sent a message to one of my friends who said he was coming when he was going to get there. Looking back on the situation I probably should have just told the waiter that I was expecting one other guest but now I know . Anyway he sent me back a response that said I should have reminded him . I couldn't even imagine saying that to another person.

Now when i'm out with a woman I believe in paying 50/50 but if she pays I don't have a problem with it either. What I have a issue with is when I pay for something and a woman doesn't say thank you. It might sound small but when I don't get that small acknoledgement I take it to mean that they expect me to pay and that i'm being taken for granted. So I take that to be a red flag.

When i'm out with a girl and something like this happens I try to observe several things about the situation, does she look nervous, does she need to be some where soon ect.

Yeah dude I've encountered people like that before. Two good friends of mine are like that and I also know a few girls that do shit like that. I went to a wedding over the summer and sat at a table with a friend who's like that. He told the groom he was gonna bring a date but ended up going alone. They paid for his dates seat and everything and he never notified them that she wasn't coming. He also didn't bring a gift, not even a card lol. I also don't understand how people do that.

Manage those expectations. Observe and treat accordingly.

People are always going to act in their own best interest.

I agree with this. I've set up numerous plans to know that people are always going to flake. If they flake on me though that lets me know that they're not being considerate of my time. If people do stand you up, it's best to call them out on it, especially if you felt disrespected. If you call them out on it, even if you look like a jerk doing so they'll respect you more and will realize that you have standards and boundaries.

Sometimes people do have legitimate reasons for not showing up somewhere though, I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. But if it's clear they're bsing me I won't deal with it. Also there's a lot of spoiled people out there. If someone doesn't thank you or show gratitude it could be for multiple reasons. I still see it as a lack of respect though, if I'm paying for someone and I don't get anything in return I see it as wasting time.

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"Any good pimp is his own best company. His inner-life is so rich with cunning and scheming to out-think his whores." -Iceberg Slim

If you are doing it because you want to and it is something you are going to do anyway, then...

What does it matter if they flake?

You were going to do it anyway..

You will still enjoy it..

They have just plainly told you not to invite them again, wait until they ask..

It is a cheap lesson and one that tells you a lot about them..

If it was for a legitimate reason, they will want to make it up to you..

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

I agree^