Natural Freedom

Where to start ?

...

There are three new roomates at home, two women (ML and AL) and a man (M).
-ML is a mid-30's 1m80 ish hard working woman (she does gardens, trim trees ...), body well kept (sport + work).
-AL is a 25 yo who intends to become year head (Britain) or dean (U.S.), she comes from britain (north west of france).
-M is a 1m95 105 kg guy who installs windows, comes from north east of france.


Their relations towards the opposite sex :
ML has recently gotten dumped by two bfs (both simultaneously for her, and dumped in a 3 days span)

AL dumped her 9 yo bf before coming living with us (he made her come here for his work, she had to change her career (she wanted to do criminal profiling or thing like that), but they grew apart).

M goes out to clubs as many times as he financially can, ends up wasted, probably has sex with as many women as he can.
He has a "pseudo gf, fuck buddy", apparently dated a 40 something woman.

That was the background.

From jump AL attracts me somewhat (her whole demeanour, physically, ...).

The pattern is when I'm attracted to someone at home, I just wait to get to know them better (see what I like in her, if it's vice-versa, ...).

So fast forward this last couple of days.

As I don't talk much (I'm sure some days I say less than 100 words), if I have to say something, I almost always wait til the opportunity presents itself.

I don't remember the beginning, but at some point I said her nail-polish looked horrible, with my reasons.
Another day, she was without makeup, without glasses, hair fucked up, I still don't remember the beginning, but I basically said "like that you're perfect", to that she replied the basic "I prefer with glasses on, it structures my face, blah blah"

Yesterday morning my sis'bf came to eat with us, and discussing I asked AL to remove her glasses to show them (he said we were both right ).

Something must have gotten to her, because she teases me back with things like
"I pity your wife" (I have no other examples yet there are others)
Also, last night, when it's time to eat, AL starts rambling about what I said to my mother.

It went like this :
AL : What do you think about my nail polish (brown) ?
Mo(ther) : I like it, it's beautiful (earlier that day I said to her she looks like she stuck her fingers somewhere )
AL : Well GB said my nail looks bad, that I wear too much makeup, ...
Immediatly my mother turns (I'm laughing as I remember her look)
Mo: Why did you say something like this, you should be nice, don't insult her blah blah, she doesn't have to please you ...
GB : Why is it an insult, I said she looked more beautiful naturally than with all that ?
They calmed down, agree, (AL and I have strong eye contact every time we talk).
AL : And why don't you have a girlfriend ? We should put you on internet dating ...
Mo : (As the guy comes in) you should invite him, lend him one of your girlfriends ( ).
M : No, usually I go to club alone, or it's on internet ...
Mo to me : What are you gonna do then ?
AL, with strong eye contact : Don't you want a girlfriend ?
GB : It depends (I internally thought "if I was interested in knowing a girl, it would be you").
Listen, I just talked about your makeup and you're talking about my life.
Mo : Private life.
I don't remember the rest, coz I was listening to my internal dialogue :
It depends that I like being single.
I'm not gonna meet someone except on my daily routine
She has to do her part too
...


This morning, had a conversation alone with my mother :
Mo : Didn't it make you mad that AL asked you that ? (I thought, why, it just shows she's interested ...)
GB : No, of course, I tease her, she teases me.
Mo : Coz you blushed when she asked you.
GB : Seriously ? (No way ... I may be hot but blushing, I just learned something )
Mo : Yeah, I thought it was because the emotion got out coz you know that you should have one ... all that, at least for experience in bed ...
GB : What so you would view me more highly if I fucked passed out women at clubs ?
Mo : Of course not ... but ...
GB : Really ? You think because you fuck 50 women you're better in bed ?
Mo : Of course not necessarily, but ...
GB : You loving the guy has nothing to do with it ? like you could have an orgasm on the phone, or viewing your favourite star on tv ?
Mo : Of course ... but ...
GB : So you cum because you like him, you don't like him coz you cum ...
Mo : Of course ... but ...


So, why posting it ?

- The guy, who I would look up to before joining this forum (because he fucks women), now I feel for him.
He is late to paying my mother
He is disliked by every woman at home (because he's messy, he doesn't do the dishes well, other things, he seems needy)
He doesn't seem to have a clue (he enjoys his lifestyle (alcohol and pussy), says that he's young ...)

- Women don't have a clue.

- It clarified my thooughts as I live the scene again.


What I learned about me ?
- They didn't even make me flinch once (except if I really did blush) because I was righteous, congruent, honest.
- I blush like a pussy (if it's true)
- I have 99 % proof she likes me (and I kinda like her) -> Leap of faith, 100 % sure (never second doubt yourself)
- There may be symps moves I do, but looking back, it was a good experience, I don't care either way.
- I'm hungry.

Comments are welcome (if you see something I missed, please be harsh )

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

Just a suggestion but we should do actual names in story posts. Making up fake names would be cool but trying to follow with intials and sometimes just a letter is much more confusing.

_________________
"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

No pb, if anything continues, I'll make up real names (as I can't edit)
Sorry

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

so your mom's with a young messy dude
thought it was only me who got into a loop

_________________
"I'd rather have no bitch than a half a bitch" Iceberg Slim

Actually, she NEVER wanted to do a younger one, it's like fucking her son (her words).

She's with a 2 years older guy (she's 58), but still active.


I probably messed up the writing

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

Here's the following conversations yesterday night :

AL becomes Alore, M becomes Mol.

I was eating with my mom, when Alore came to prepare for herself.

My mom starts complaining about the guy, how he's incorrect, ...
So they both go on their ramblings (letting their emotions do the talking), and comes Mol too who joins Basically I'm dying inside laughing at what they say.
Complains about him, Mol sexually frustrated, Alore too, ...
Dick jokes (Alore ate sausages), they go on to talk about how they would like a good sausage (Alore : at least this kind of sausage I can have ...)... while I'm there listening, smiling.
Alore calls Mol "Monica", and she says "That's true I give good heads" ...

The eye contact is more and more outrageous, teasing ... but she doesn't (Alore more than Mol) articulate it.. so me neither.

Twice I put my hand on Alore's back to get her to move so I can pass through, she looks at me smiling and without moving say knowingly "What do you want ?" ...

Some days ago, I said to Alore that if they are both frustrated, they should do a little lesbian thing with Mol (she said another person told her that already ).

All that to say I'm on the verge of proposing a threesome (that would be a cool first time ), but I don't shit where I eat (this isn't the only neither the main reason though), so I'll just keep doing me and see what comes next ...

I won't be home for at least three days, so their behaviour might go back to before, else it would be an enjoyable winter.

My thoughts are :
- If my read is correct, Alore waits for me to propose something so that she has the power to say no (that would probably not happen, but who knows ...)
- Ego boost is out, because 'the guy' is all up her ass (he drove her to work this morning, they work not far, she said no but he insisted apparently ...)

What it reinforced :
- Women really want dick more than men (at least I) want pussy.
- They are used to having men all up their ass.
- They are retarded when it comes to making the first step.

That's all.
Criticism and comments are still more than welcome.

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

Yep...the moment you make a move, the game is over. The goal is to bait THEM into making the move...because once they commit then it is ON.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

So depending on the circumstances :
- Either front blast directly or indirectly, say things like "if you don't ask you don't get", "You look as if you have something to say" ...
- Or (in this particular case as she's not going anywhere), just WAIT til her emotions eat herself and she tries to rape me (or finds someone else)


Just to add :

I probably got infatuated by the situation and the amount of tension. This is why I (almost) never made contact (with women in general) or even wanted to, because something tells me that these ladies are off - On the contrary to this one, I know that she likes me, so it almost pushed me to make a *move*, as her vibe is screaming it.

I'm too straightforward I think, if I were dating I would be like that probably :

*move* explained (thoughts that appeared when eye contact with her) :
- I want to kiss you / Come kiss me.
- I find you somewhat attractive / There's something to you that attracts me.
- You're the third person I would like to know better.
- If you really want someone to pound you, I'm here.

Reasons why I didn't are pretty easy to guess (at least for the last one )


I have so much more to say (this situation inspired me ), but this is probably just rambling so I'll filter it, condense it and see if it's relevant before posting again.

Thanks

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

oh it's relevant.

_________________
"I'd rather have no bitch than a half a bitch" Iceberg Slim

I just read your thread : http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=2650

I'll write about your post here, because it's related AND because I'll introspect.

I believe the girl asking about your girl (where and how she is) is the same as this one asking why don't I have one.
This is consciously a test on her part (see how you answer, your body language, my reasons), and at the same time either consciously or inconsiously showing interest to see if you take the bait (What about yours ? / She's good but I think I have room for one more ... gotta open my HRD (human resource departement) )
And when you're tired of his whinny ass, call me

Whether I wrote my post, or I read yours, there's a thing that I want to expand on.
These are examples of the games women play (not even malisciously, or even consciously) ( as both your girls are interested, and mine is too).
They probably do this to bunch of guys (in your case more than mine as she's new in town), and just have to WAIT til one of the bunch make a move, so that they don't get rejected ...

So (I'm finishing the second 'listening' of Black Phillip Show), I notice that I become more and more (more likely I'm allowing myself to be what I really am : ) a 'bear' type (though I don't hunt like Patrice, I'm like a bear fisherman).
I like aggressive women (that's why I like 'my' girl, because she's honnest (to a point), don't take shit and all) -> Unlike my mother (very passive aggressive) whom when she pushes me (doesn't listen, say stupid things and when I correct her I'm the bad guy, ...), my tone increases a couple octaves and she's like why you're yelling, ... you're aggressive, can't you be calm blah blah (now I still correct her but remain cold so she can't feed off anything thank you NF and introspection )
We can't win (we can't but we could ... but we can't ... but we could... FOR every man has to open his eyes to the natural order of things).
The only way to win is not to play by her rules (which are society's rules).

That's what annoys me in both our stories.
Because if I have to be completely honnest with myself, I would have to live alone (I will in less than a year), AND let people enter only if they are 'worthy' (not egomaniacal way, let me explain

If I had to be honnest with myself, I would be honnest with others.
That would mean :
- Front blast like the Kidd Examples of what I feel like saying but don't :
- Gosh stop trying to act like you're not interested and say what you gotta say woman.
- Tell me why would I be interested in someone who's only job in life is to wait for the perfect man to come, what do you have to offer ?
- ...
- Shut up mom, do you hear the bullshit you say all day long ( )

I consciously have to shut my opinion because if I really say what I feel, ...
I SHUT MYSELF, not them.
I'm afraid of the consequences ... well no.
I consider the consequences and weight pros and cons, but think I shouldn't, and should just say what I feel (as women do without impunity )

This is calibration between being righteous / congruent, and being socially acceptable.
I focused more on the differences between me and other people so that I think I have nothing to say to them ?
Well the only thing I'm interested to talk is THAT (what we talk about here), and I never made it known that I am on this kind of forum (unlike zogler, props) (well to be fair I said to my sister I was reading Pimp and other Iceberg Slim books, and she reacted like 'what, pimp books ? well you read what you want', with a disproving tone ...(as pimps are OF COURSE beating women, the scum of the world ... )).

If I could tell the similarities, it is male/female relationships and women only that interest everyone.
But I feel (as I don't have experience) that my opinion not only will be discredited, but I PREFER to show people, rather than tell them (so in a way me staying single DID rang a bell as my opinion (even though it can be misinterpreted as LSE, Shyness, Fear of women, Hatred maybe ...))

The point is I am 'afraid' to be completely honnest with people.
This is because I didn't completely believe in myself (YES, past tense).

I will write the list of things that I'm not honnest with and please comment on how you would manage that :
- My father has money problems (I lended him 1.500 € as my sis and bro, but still can't finish the month sometimes).
He spends money on FOOD primarily, probably 70 to 100 € a week for him alone (he doesn't eat THAT much, but he likes 'good' (read expensive) food, no restaurants mind you, but I don't even know)
He is a collectionner too (buys things on secondhand markets, CHEAP but TOO MUCH STUFF)
But he has things of value in his house (he has at least one painting whose value is up to 3000€ (looking on the internet), but don't want to sell it (I said I would do it, he was like "no I'll do it"), but he says that when he will die, we will inherit it and do what we want ... )

Everybody says to him he has too much stuff, it's all junk, ... but does nothing (I said to him 3 years ago that I intended to have a home library, he went on to buy up to 5000 books easily (total money spent probably 1000 € in 2 1/2 years, when I said stop at after the first year (there was too much junk on the books) )
His house is kinda like that :


So yesterday he VERY INDIRECTLY asked me for money ("I have to work hard til the end of the month otherwise I wouldn't be able to pay the bill ...").
I made the decision (after the second time) to say no as he does not know how to keep money (or at least be on the positive side).
But at the same time I don't want to have to manage his finances for him.

If I were completely honnest, I would say this to him :
"You're 57, you're in the red, you're even borrowing money from your children for what ?
Books ? Stamps ? Paintings ?
What do you want to compensate for ?
These things don't care at all if you're struggling to finish the month.
Do something for yourself, stop counting on others."

Why I don't ?
He lives how he wants, I have no say over his life, I'll only say no if he asks me money. <- Many people tell me how I should live, and I don't like it, so I'm not going to say how others have to live.

So more likely, I would say something like :
Live your life how you want, but don't ask me for money coz you don't know how to manage it.

Also, maybe I didn't say no before this coz if his reaction were to be mad at me, it would mean he considered me mainly as a wallet, and I may not want to face that. Who knows ?


- Alore.
She's my type of girl, half french half portuguese, not model pretty but like her (with a prettier face imo)


She seems psychologically damaged (or particularly balanced to be able to handle this kind of things) LIKE ME :
-She likes criminal profiling (like Level 26, Criminal Minds).
-She likes disturbing thrillers (like Piel que Habito).
-She likes horror movies (like Eden Lake).

-She likes dance movies, love movies too (well she's still a woman )

This is relevant to honnesty, because I don't say what I feel BECAUSE as she lives with us, I may be afraid of consequences (whether she rejects me (0% chance), or she tries to use me if I make a move, or having to explain myself for an hour on how I think, why, ...).

But even though I would honestly say what I feel I give her no power, coz I can't help how I feel.
So the problem is that she would think that she has some power over me, so she will act like she's on a pedestal.

That's why when I said she was 'perfect without makeup', she probably thought I was all up her ass but shy, so she tested me later with my mother (to see if I would back off, and see how I would react with other people present)

That's what pisses me off a bit (if it's true, I may ramble for no reason and she's one of the unicorns ), until I remember they don't do it malisciously, and that it's her only weapon (screening) ...

But again I only met three women that I FELT like it's on already (that they wouldn't give me shit, no test and all), whereas Alore I feel like she tests, like she's not sure of herself (because she dumped her bf, admitted to want to lose some weight (like 99% of women), admitted that she couldn't go out without wearing some makeup ...)

The thing that is different with her is that she teases me about this :
"I'll show you how to like shallow women like me"
"Every woman has to have a bit of shallowness, you'll see"

This just shows me she's not shallow, just a little insecure and pushes me to make the first move so she's not rejected ...

This is all 'gut feeling', and to expand on that, I start to see that even though I have a set personality (aggressive, honnest, straightforward ), I don't have a set behaviour (no ABCD as Wygant would say), I'm a responder, I treat people accordingly not on what they say or do, but on what my gut tells me (the feeling response I get when I see them, hear them).

I will finish by saying this :
I almost wanted to not publish this post (coz I still haven't said all that goes through my head yet), but the most important lesson is this :

TRUST YOUR GUT NOT YOUR MIND. (Has it been said before )

Your gut reacts CONGRUENTLY to what you really are. (That's why if I followed my gut I would be completely honnest, but for now there's still a little editing), and is IMMEDIATE REACTOR, no over-thinking (like this post : 2 hours to translate,write what my gut KNOWS instantly).

Thus endeth this long-ass post.

Long live bear fishing.

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

do you believe in yourself?
think about it. (answer only when you really have thought about it. then based on your answer, proceed.

in all honesty though. I think you need to start bringing women home. doing this WILL cement a few things, to you and the girl you want to shag.

in terms of your honesty. you can be honest, but you can do it in a constructive manner. I do admit though, some people need to be shouted at for them to move. you know the people you are around, study them so that you will be able to have better interactions with them.

it is one girl that my post is about it all started. she constantly asks about my girl because she knows she's not here, and to check on my relationship status (as you said, to see how I will answer). we just rarely talk but whenever we come in proximity the sexual vibe is unbelievable, quite embarrassing actually. ( I wrote it because I was thinking about Kidd's sexual barometer reference )

_________________
"I'd rather have no bitch than a half a bitch" Iceberg Slim

Here goes :
This I thought about (hands on experience, to Walk the walk not talk the talk), but the drive to do it is not there.
Why ?
Don't I believe in myself enough ?

I will say this.
This chick you say I want to shag, I want it because I feel she wants it.
But I have NO SEX DRIVE whatsoever (meaning I am turned on whether visually or by touch, smell voice, but nothing makes me act on it, just like I won't hit someone when I'm angry, or kiss everybody when I'm joyful.), I feel the sensation, then it goes back to normal.

So AT NO TIMES on the streets / mall I go 'damn she looks cute, I want to talk to her'.
I might end up talking somewhat, but there is no drive to push things further (I don't care if I don't have her number, if I see her again. I said what I had to say and went on my day).

That's why I say I can't lead things (maybe I understand the concept wrong).
That's why I don't talk much, there is no drive (EVEN though I sure would like to know her better), if I sense that the person is not in talkative mode I shut up, otherwise words flow and conversation forms easily. I Can't initiate it that's all.

If it's not calibration time, then be it.

Story time :
My first and only girlfriend :
I was 2 1/2yo, she was 4yo (at that moment I was considered intelligent as I could speak and write both french and english, so I was already in nursery-school)
I didn't want to go to school, so I grabbed my mother's leg.
The only think that made me go was when this little girl grabbed my hand, kissed me and dragged me to school (true story ).

Twisted moral of the story : I'm meant to be pursued not the other way around


I don't know if you would like to bang my head yet, so I'll continue.

I wouldn't mind meeting any of you guys btw, so if you come at Côte d'Azur in France, pm me

"Do I believe in myself ?"

What can I say, except :

Test me, ask me something to do, or say that if I do it and report it you will believe me. (this could be fun)

That said, I DON'T put my dick nor my mouth in any hole I don't know if it's clean or not .

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler