Natural Freedom

Gentlemen. Having spent the last three days trawling through a multitude of threads on this forum, I have gleaned a confirmation of what I already knew. The bottomless pit of hell that is our society and the inhabitants of. I have laughed, and I have cried. And so, I'd like to share something with you, and see if you can guess where this is going.

I'm going to give a very brief Cliff Notes version of this;

6 months ago I started some casual thing with a young lady. It began 2 months prior, to be exact, over a frank dinner table discussion about the female orgasm, and the truth behind the 'G-spot'. But it was 6 months ago when I shot her the innocuous text- 'How's your G-spot btw?'. The following evening she was in my room, taking her clothes off. No instructions were necessary. Indifference to the outcome made it easy. Infact, I even remember wondering what excuse I could use to get out of it.

Thus ensued a 6 month affair. I made it known that I wasn't offering anything but my cock and mutual respect. It turns out she's great company, but I hold firm and define the boundaries early on. She accepts, yet tries testing me by telling me about her other option. I tell her I'm not an option. That dinner-dating, poon worshipping symp stands no chance at this point.

We go on, and with every week she's trying to gain a little bit more leverage. Wants to know where she stands. I adore the little thing, but am beginning to feel cornered. 'I want to take some time apart, man's got business to take care of'. She flips. Red herring no.1. Ok, she doesn't want a break. In a way I dig how she does this. She knows what she wants. This ends with her breaking it off. I accept her resignation. A few days later she's yapping to me about us being friends. Something hits me, and I tell her that this is not how I roll. I'm a package, my cock is included. 'I want your package', she replies. Done.

The next few months are not without it's issues. There are great times, and frustrating times. She up in my grill, so to speak, and I am not down with my position in life. Self-esteem hits a low. She understands though- love etc. Tells me she wants us to live together, to which I give an empathic no. We go on.

The final part of the relationship goes like this- She get's a new job out of town and we only see eachother weekends. She goes to a wedding in Europe, time spent together reaching all time low. My paranoia seeps in. I'm not representing my fine self so well anymore. Comes to a head when I ask her if she's happy doing this shit- she ends it. Why? There was a loss of value on my part, and also she says she wants kids(she's under 25). NOW, we all have patterns and here's mine; Whenever I break up with a girl I like, I always try and get them back. Real symp behaviour. Been doing it since I was 16. It's like I'm halfway between symp and pimp. I never kiss ass, but I do this shit instead. So what do I do? I try and persuade her that we should stay together, bullsh*tting about how I want to move in, maybe have kids etc. Stems back to my fear of being abandoned by my Mother. That's IT. Nothing to do with how highly I value the broad. My behaviour, while not extreme, was emasculating. I quickly catch myself and let her go. 3 days later, she sends me some random text about some stupid shit. I give a one word answer out of courtesy. I agree that we should remain friends though.

Now, after two weeks of not even considering contact, after letting her go and finding indifference as to whether I even speak to her again, she calls. SIX times in two days. I send a message joking that I don't recognise the number can you please stop calling etc. I'm at a point where i'm not interested in speaking. But I throw a little rope her way after she asks how I am. Yeah, I'm cool....that's it. Now she won't stop calling;

Women, predictable eh? Not that it's a foregone conclusion that she's back for cock, but I don't mind admitting that sex was a big thing for us. I really gave that thing to her. I was on the top floor in this respect, to the point where I was the one left sexually frustrated at the end. Of course, She could just literally want to know how I am in friendly way, right? I'm open to possibilities here, and i'm just going to see how this plays. I'll be interested to ascertain the motive here, for the sake of observation

_________________
All is more simple than you make it.

I like this guy.

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Now we're up to 8 times in two days. I need to make a bet as to when this will end!

Observing the routines of a female, a mandatory exercise for the pimp in training

Time to throw another inch of rope her way...

_________________
All is more simple than you make it.

Hmmm. I've discovered a new rule for myself- Never try to work out what a woman wants.

Overall she called 15 times in 3 days. We had a text message exchange, during which I told her I was cool, played with her a bit, but refused to answer her calls purely because I did not feel like speaking to her.

She finally got through to me a day later. I answered, and she proceeded to send an emo-dump my way, taking out her frustrations. She says she wish she didn't listen to this medium she went to see(who told her I would never commit), because it made her think too much. I basically hung up because I couldn't listen to it.

She called me a couple of days later, after we had exchanged some sexually laced emails and texts. I basically sent her a transcript from a film which I found which was up her street(It was pretty hot). We spoke later that night, having a great interaction. She told me that it was strange how she left me before it had really ended, and also pondered about leaving something so sweet. She said she was finding it hard letting me go, and missed her friend.

About the text messages- I know exactly how to work her, sexually. It's in the words I use or the looks I give to her. The messages were not explicit, but playfully sexual and faux-innocent. She said

'Stop it, I know what you're doing even if you don't'.
'What am I doing? Tell me, I'd like to know'.
'The script you sent, the messages etc. Out of anyone in the world you know how to push my buttons the most. I need to get off that machine for the moment. It needs a rest'.

I flipped it round and she admitted she was projecting. She wasn't of course, because I was fishing for it. But I let her think otherwise. Still not sure what she's going to do next, but the last two days have been a struggle for me. I've not symped out, but my previous indifference and letting her go have bit me on the ass. I have missed and yearned for her. Nothing wrong with that imo, but even though I adore the broad, I can't allow anyone to get in my way.

Not sure what to do, if anything.

_________________
All is more simple than you make it.

Doesn't matter what they want, we know what they need.

_________________
The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."

Heh, indeed Star.

Although, I no longer care about what she needs. What I needed was for her to be cut from my life, which I just did. I felt she deserved excommunication to be honest. I only would have had her stuck in up my head otherwise. So I'll let her continue doing all the things she said she wouldn't, living the same ole' life she was living before, and maybe see where she ends up

_________________
All is more simple than you make it.

Rolan, you are a choice cut of meat, my friend.



Excellent work, man. Keep it up.

_________________
“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. . . ."

-Thoreau's Walden

Ah! Brilliant post.

I will also add that it doesn't matter what they can and cannot do.

Rolan, stay consistent in what you do, don't drop the ball.

_________________
Sparkling All Over

Yes, Scarf, absolutely. My issue has always been consistency. I tend not to 'finish how I start', and that quote rings so true.

I find that it's a struggle for me to not cave in and give them the truth of how I feel, even though this will, and always has, push them away. I did want a relationship with this girl, exclusively. However, even though she regrets it, she is so emotionally needy and all over the place that I had to cut the cord, even with a small chance that we could have gone on together(I believe in monogamy, not as an absolute, but it's possible). Done!

It's just consistency and a perennial awareness that allows us to hold the power in this fucked up society, with it's fucked up interactions

Thanks..

_________________
All is more simple than you make it.