Natural Freedom

It's like being a virtual tourist on a distant planet you never knew you wanted to visit...with guns that shoot GUNS!

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

So it thought about not writing at all, because it would have seem as a relapse, but it's more of discovering another level, with deeper understanding.. It's very similar to foofatron's thread:
viewtopic.php?f=18&t=2576&start=20
Those feelings won't go away 100% at one time, trying not to care won't get them away...
Problem is that I try to release stuff about the attraction to one girl - I thought it itself is the problem. It seems that the more I try to confront it and let it go, the stronger it gets - As time passes and I share time with her, I get to know her dark and light sides, both, better and better - I hate things about her, but also I like things about her - Some things no girls I've liked had so far.. She'd be useful partner in dealing with people, she can understand them like I do, but has a little diferrent perspective that helps me - And it does to her also.
I had a weird moment with her - she talked, I looked at her and I saw her as, like, somebody else.. I felt it, VERY STRONGLY, that she's somebody different than I've met so far. I cannot tell you how and why. Happened to me for the first time. The moments with her are very memorable, I remember more than with all girls before her combined.

She also seems to make me show lots of insecurities of mine, it's very good testing machine for my inner work progress looking at it..

What I really don't know how to deal with, is the numbers of guys that tries to get her - She's got male attention like all the time, often more than one guy... I don't really know what to do with it, I don't feel like going in there and talk to her at all. I don't really mind the guys going after her, more that they block my way.. But it probably doesn't matter at all, because what seems to work is not ignoring her, but telling her something short - Then give space, I did this, she then iniciated contact on FB two days in a row.
She doesn't mind the attention, she won't send a guy away, only if he's touching her too much.

It's the girl I'm taling about in last threads.. It's weird, we seem to share time together, then get seperate (even hostile) and repeat that.. Each time it gets more interesting. But I have no idea what she wants from me. Her behavior with friends and guys she's attracted to is the most confusing I've seen so far. She's confused as hell herself to me.
I think she probably has to get to the guy she likes herself, with all those guys after her, keeping her busy..

Edit: Thinking about it, what pisses me off about her is what I also have in myself - Not projection, but I attracted somehow accurate mirror...I'm realising it more and more. I realised that I almost can't stand her "using" the guys that give her attention and like her, making them her "friends"... I know now, that I do that also, with females I don't like and I wait for girl I'd like to appear...

Wait what? We're not talking about Borderlands 2 anymore?

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

_________________
~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo

Imma say it before someone beats me to it

Let it go!

_________________
"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

Girls always use guys, for something, get used to it.

_________________
"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

Right on brutha

_________________
The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."

Seems like you over-analyze the simple things way too much brother. Just do what you feel is necessary. If you happen to make a mistake, let that be a lesson learned.

_________________
And what is fear of need but need itself?

That's quite right, I've been doing that a lot

Back to Borderlands

Have you played the first game ? (I got lvl 61 full-orange Brick, I played it coop with a friend)
In the second I'm playing Gunzerker, dual pistol build (epic DPS !!!!), 3 pistols + shotgun-grenadelauncher-awesomness that fires fire dmg to burn lots of humanoids

Me as well.

Just ordered the new Alienware setup. Gonna be sick.

_________________
"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

So I invited girl over, for two nights.. Agrees, comes over, watched movies.. Then I go for the kiss etc, she turns away, then tells me she's sorry, then she's shaking and crying, then she falls asleep.
What the hell. She comes over for a weekend to friendzone me, sleep with me in bed but no touching or anything.
Just wow. This is just endless downfall, I have nothing to say to myself, for year nomaking out, no sex nothing.
I just lost faith

Well...now that you're a complete loser with no job, no outlook and no self confidence to speak of, can't say that I'm surprised. I'm sure your vibe with her was needy as fuck too...and your gut told you that you were fucking up as soon as you started THINKING about inviting her over...but oh noooo...you know so much better than you own gut, myself, and the rest of these fine gentlemen who have wasted their precious free time trying to get you to put down the steak sammiches, don't you smart boy?

Ah well...sounds like a good time to finally GET YOUR LAZY, SELF LOATHING ASS IN THE GYM.

Hopefully while you're at it, you'll LOCATE YOUR FUCKING BALLS.

...and felllas...have NO pity for this hard headed idiot...he has enough pity for HIMSELF already as it is.

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

Fufe.

You bask in your own misery, I'm convinced that deep down some part of you LOVES when this shit happens to you.

You didn't just happen to lose faith because of your most recent fuckup, you didn't have faith to begin with IN YOURSELF.

Until you take that hard and honest look at yourself in the mirror and take accountability, and the above advice to heart, you're fucked.

_________________
"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

Fufe: You friendzoned yourself.

She had nothing to do with it.

You left her with no other option

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Didn't I just say no relapses she had to create space because you were filling it.

_________________
~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo

THIS

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

No offence fufe, but your threads always carryout for months and you still miss the moon which was pointed to in probably the first page.

Start over...destroy and rebuild!

_________________
"I'd rather have no bitch than a half a bitch" Iceberg Slim