Natural Freedom

^^ THIS!!

Think on this.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Hmmm.. I'm not really a symp, I was on the edge of apathy for some time not knowing it.. Now I'm more balanced and relaxed in the actual sitations. I understand reciprocation now, finally.. Thanks to Prodigy and Resonance I understand that I don't have to force myself into not taking iniciative, when I feel I should..

If I could handle the waiting, I'm pretty sure I'd handle this in some way, providing new perspective on everything here, since I'm very differently build than most of you guys..

@Peregrinus
I know that because I was busy I was ok, the shit came up when my experiences stopped.
Are you suggesting I should busy my mind with stuff, so my selfsabotaging mind will stop making shit up
Or I should give up any hopes and feel bad - That leads me to figuring out why I want a girl so bad and feel bad without one, which I'm figuring out now

Even with these negative states, I'm very determined to find my way through this - And to find a way for ENFJ and other feeling types to apply Pimposophy without denying themselves and their nature and then write about it.
Also, to discover what my father did not, could not...
It just may take up a few years

You just gotta find the middle path Like Buddha

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

I dug deeper and found out stuff:

I'm practically afraid and confused about my emotions - It seems to because I've been somehow hurt as a kid (bullied in school for being emotional, by father told me I'm a girl and other negative things..) and I was afraid to show emotions - I was very cold during my childhood, unaturally - But even before school as a small kid, I didn't like anybody to touch me, even from family. I don't know why tho.
But it explains why I'm so confused about everything - I'm trained for years to suppres everything and I can't come up as being myself this way. I understand that you don't act solely on your emotions but combine it with logic, but this is different - I could use logic, but my I'm not in touch with my emotions as I should because of this confusion ( You probably noticed, how much "I'm confused" appears in my posts...)

It seems to link with "I want to have a longterm relationship ASAP", because I've been deprived of "love" and "affection" when I was a kid and now I'm paying for it, so I'm searching for it from girls

How do I let go of this, or what shall I do next ? I need guidance, I don't know if anything of this is of any use or counterproductive...

Edit:
I just had a sudden revelation: The question is not "Why ?" but "Why not ?".. Especially when it comes to unattachment.. This just flashed my mind, as Kidd mentioned this in a topic, and sounds true
I've been sent a song and the lyrics just flagged a red light in my head, following parts: I feel somehow unattached, I don't understand it. A sentence "My heart is weirdly clear" popped up and I really feel like that. I don't understand this, what happened, am I losing my mind ? It feels weir but right

I can relate with you on this with so many levels. I'm an INFJ but there's only <5% on the I/E preference. With the same father not being the best thing.

I put my own spin on things, I feel to a large degree you are not being true to yourself. Your very capable of designing your own morality but instead you give that power to society.

You think if you do this and that that it will lead to a favorable outcome. Your very attached to outcomes still.

I'm kind by default, and if someone wants to fuck around I won't get mad about it..I'll just let them have enough rope to hang themselves. That's how you deal with being nice. Be nice until you have a reason not too.

I'm telling you this a friend (and someone who flips back and forth between emotion and logic). Being NFJ is no excuse for weakness. Man up.

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

Guys - I've just been pretty much replaced in work by a model-looking female... I don't know what now, I have to find a new job

Could you give us even Less details please ?

I hope your was honest ...

Were you on formation period ?
You didn't sign any contract yet ?

Do you plan on going there as a customer ?

Positive side :
You can find a job that suits you for now, invent one, go back to studying, ...
You are freer now to do what you want !

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"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

It was honest..
Last night floorman made jokes that were mainly to laugh at me with other staff, it was clearly about what I said or did.. And he told dealer guys that the girl that has been there to look how things work in this casino, is getting a dealer course now - I mean, they even pay for it, he didn't tell me anything like that is possible, if it would I would do it too, happily...
I had no more motivation to work, I made mistakes as ever - I didn't feel bad as much tho, because when your supervisor is disrespecting you on purpose, you are not very motivated.
I got my money, I asked if I should come the next tournament, he said he will call me. I understood that I won't probably hear from him. I resisted the urge to tell hime something like "Sir if you think I'm and idiot tell it looking into my face and directly.". He didn't make any eye contact when I was leaving.
I actually hold no grudge against the woman that's beeing recruited - She looks friendly and I'm sure she'll learn how to deal. And it's cool to have good looking dealer, attracts customers etc.. What I didn't like were disrespeting words from my coworkers, only one that was at least a little friendly was one dealer, but he soon got on other side.. You see those guys know each other for two years proffesionally at least, I was a complete and soon disliked stranger.. It felt like going into the battlefield against them, not work.
Surpisignly, even the players were friendlier than them often..

What's formation period ? I was not on any contract...
Going there as a customer is very playful idea, but I don't have that money, I have to eat

I worry about taxes tho, I won't be able to pay them so I have to work something out

Btw, the biggest benefit of this job was that I repeatedley challenged my fear, NOBODY can take that from me.

Formation period (or 'essay period' in France) means that you are not sure whether your contracts hold strong or not (the manager can break the contract easily, usually for a period between two days to one month).

Thanks for precisions, it appears to have been a good learning experience for you.

Good luck on finding a new job.

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"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

fufe, sucks you lost your job but there is a reason for everything that will soon become clear.

Aside from that, I really see no reason for all this bitching and moaning. You obviously have girls that are into you, there’s just one small detail that you are misunderstanding from what I gather.

You are being completely aloof as opposed to indifferent. Being your best friend would be a different way of phrasing indifferent but still getting to the same means.

Kidd said it somewhere on here, but when a girl is clearly attracted and giving you tons of jocking, you have to reciprocate but just keep it a little less than what she is giving you. You were just being distant and not giving them anything, so it’s understandable the girls would think you’re not interested.

You gotta plant some seeds and give her a little too. Touch her softly on the shoulder or arm when you are talking, let a gaze linger on her just a little bit longer than usual. Say you like that in women when she mentions a positive trait about herself. Whatever, do some of the same things girls that are jocking do to you, just give her a little to go off of so she doesn’t think you flat out don’t like her.

Again, aside from the recent job situation, I just see excuses, self-sabotage, and an unwillingness to let go of that victim mentality.

That's true. I seem to fall into this negative self-defeating state when I'm:
Primarily: Too bored for longs periods of time
Secondarily: Alone for too long (few days are too long)

Actually now I don't feel that bad as you guys might think I do... I understand my situation, but somehow I feel empowered by handling this, that I stood against my fears, etc.. I feel more confident even when I failed that

Thanks for pointing out the reciprocation. I read Scarf's post in this topic:
http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... 3052#p3052
And I saw myself in it so much it's unreal
Yesterday before job I met a female friend for a while, we needed to make copies of keys to the flat I slept in (It's in different city that one I live in, one and half hour bus ride). She was attracted to me in the past, but I wasn't interested (not my type, at all) she eventually found out a boyfriend, who's very good match for her, I know him and he's great guy.
She was devastated emotionally, her grandparents are terribly ill, her father cheats on her mother and only the girl know it, school stress etc. She told me all of it, we discused relationships etc.. When we were standing she stood pretty much in my intimate zone, not even a few inches, the closest to me without obviously touching. It surprises me how girls feel safe and comfortable in my presence (especially when I feel confident). I feel like a father figure in situations like this In her case I didn't mind being her emotional support, I don't mind being a friend only obivously.. I like being "emotional protector" of people actually, ENFJ trait I guess

BTw, I'm thinking about going out by myself today, I crave a burger and I'd like to sit with my notebook in a pub a write some stuff

And you wonder why they feel safe around you?

Really?

Ponder that just for a microsecond or so....

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Well yes that's true it's even funny
I'm just pondering about how much is this only "friendzoned emotional tampon support" and how much this could lead to a girl being attracted.. I had one girl attacted and literally come to me physically solely on her feeling safe with me.. Can you tell me more about this ? pls

Elektra complex?

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

Nobody's saying it...so I'm going to say it.

Fufe, I know all of the fellas mean well...but all we are doing is coddling you and playing into your chronic low self esteem. Mark my words...this is going to be nothing but an endless loop...a never ending pity party where fufe just sits on the ground crying and complaining while we crowd around him, pat him on the shoulder and keep saying, 'There there poor little fufe...you're going to be alright'.

FUCK. THAT.

Bottom line is, he needs to help his fucking self already...all we are doing in this thread is enabling this god awful drivel. If any of you really want to give this kid a chance of making some real fucking progress, it's time to take the training wheels off. Throw him into the pool. Make him walk home from school.

He is playing us right now...to satisfy his need for constant attention...and ANY damn attention will do. He cannot progress as long as this continues...so recognize game, use your good sense and stop feeding the god damned attention starved animals.

That is all.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Always saying what needs to be said ShitAntelope!

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The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."

Wow. I just realised that If I'd just go and take her, everything would've been easier. Yes or No, no bullshit. I fucked it up because I thought I can't do anything, I'm not supposed to take iniciative. WRONG AS FUCK. Fucked multiple chances because of it.
I have the sharingan now, I'm starting see things I havn't seen - Regarding others' relationships and mine.

Don't respond to this, just read it. Don't give me the attention, if I'm not supposed to get it then.

After few days of dealing with inner shit with EFT, giving myself space,getting unnusualy friendly eye contacts and reactions from strangers and playing Borderlands 2, I decided to read this thread, look at what I wrote...

I just understand it now - Not intellectually, but thanks to experience - That letting go, Releasing, is the answer

I had releases when I cried, very emotionally, mild anger releases... Also energy changes, getting motivated to dance, sing, draw, help everybody.. Even getting stronlgy aroused without reason ... This stuff is the shit, now I don't have to believe it, I finally KNOW it.

I don't know if I changed and people changed how they react to me, or I just don't project my inner shit on them and see them as they are, or both...But man I've got looks from girls, and from guys also - but not really unfriendly, to my amazement - I don't really judge them, I just look in the eyes.
I have state I'd call mild happines most of the time - Nothing like "enlightenment joy", but it feels very real.

I'm not 100% indifferent, I know that, but it is progress. My thinking patterns changed - When I visualize situations, I'm indifferent in them, not acting to be but being - I know affirmations don't work, and this also is attachment in sort, but better than visualizing negative scenarios and self-defeating scenarios

I have no idea what lies ahead.. But I feel good about myself

About damn time no relapses please

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~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo

I Strongly endorse this part of your post.

Very enjoyable game.

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.