Natural Freedom

I think I'm ready to talk about the biggest conflicts I have with this forum's philosophy.
First - It has many positives, I don't want this to sound like mocking or anything.

As I'm thinking about relationships practically all the time, I'm trying to figure out how to solve my problem - That led me here. I've read here that I can't care, or I can care only a little (less than the girl). But I tried not to care, it was too cold so the girl just gave up, rest I cared too much, was sympy, etc. I can't tell what's too much what's too little, because I can't be myself not caring.

What really got me doubting was conflicting experience I didn't talk about here yet. I thought a girl liked me, so I gave space, only talked to her a little IRL. I got her on facebook, but never texted her. She didn't do anything, half year later a friend of hers told me, "She was just afraid to text you, you didn't talk to her so she thought you weren't interested and gave up."

I have problems of being myself and living Kidd's pimposophy - it seems very emotions-hiding. I can understand not acting on them but I can't hide my emotions, even when I do everybody (especially females) still see how I feel. I'm the opposite of Golgo 13
I actually think I can use my feeling capabilities to my advantage here, I'd just be probably first around here.. As I am people oriented, I could direct the empathy and people-helping-skills to other people, that would be as much as somebody "walking their path", "living their adventure", "life purpose", etc. If that doesn't work, I don't know what will.

Also, I can't grasp how to lead and provide space at the same time. It seems contradictory to me. Peregrinus told me about a situation it was messed up - It was, because I didn't know any better and probably don't know now.

I also don't know about the gut feeling. I can't diferenciate it from any other.

Those are the biggest non-understandings I have..

Everyone is their own person, and I don't expect anyone to be a cookie cut of me. You are going to have to figure out your own method and style to doing this. As long as you stick to the basic guidelines that I have outlined, shit will be copastetic.

I tried not to care, it was too cold so the girl just gave up, rest I cared too much, was sympy, etc. I can't tell what's too much what's too little, because I can't be myself not caring.

I have problems of being myself and living Kidd's pimposophy - it seems very emotions-hiding. I can understand not acting on them but I can't hide my emotions, even when I do everybody (especially females) still see how I feel. I'm the opposite of Golgo 13

Everyone is their own person, and I don't expect anyone to be a cookie cut of me. You are going to have to figure out your own method and style to doing this. As long as you stick to the basic guidelines that I have outlined, shit will be copastetic.
_ The KiDD

Also, I can't grasp how to lead and provide space at the same time. It seems contradictory to me. Peregrinus told me about a situation it was messed up - It was, because I didn't know any better and probably don't know now.

I also don't know about the gut feeling. I can't diferenciate it from any other.

But I tried not to care

There's your problem. Trying not to care, trying to act indifferent so you would get the girl(s).

I don't know if this is it, maybe just part of the problem.. What do I do with this ?

'All an X-Factor is...is your average chick who, because your front and clout are damn near exactly what she is looking for subconciously and consciously (in addition to intangibles like your moral/value set), almost instantly submits and lets you lead with little to no resistance.

Fufe here is your answer on leading Here is a link to the whole thread about this particular topic:

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=1346

The rest is confused history I wrote about in my last thread - It's just as if she couldn't make up her mind really. She seems to have conflict about what she's attracted to and what she wants.

A pimp tight individual is someone who is very observant, extremely patient and acutely aware of what is going on around him at all times. Now, not many of us are actually gonna have women out there hoein' for us, therefore we fall into the 'pimp tight' category. In my book, as long as you are getting the drawlz without coming out the pocket or chasing them hoes down, you are getting over. If you can get some money and favors on top of that, that's even better. Ideally, you want the broad to spend some loot on you before you break her off.

This is called classic conditioning.

Heard of Pavlov's dogs? Well, this Pavlov dude had these dogs trained to salivate when they heard a bell ring, because they had been conditioned to think that they were about to recieve a treat. Same thing with these hoes. You kick back and wait till they do something nice for you, then you stabb 'em up real good. This programs the back of their head (subconcious mind) to think that when they do something good for you, you will, in turn, sex them good. Solid in theory, trying in execution, because most of us men lack the two main keys to being a successful pimp.
PATIENCE. Remember dealing with that one girl who held out and held out and when she finally let you hit the skinz, you swore that was the best you ever had? If you are aware that a girl is jocking you tough, you can use this formula against HER. Now, this can be tricky because you don't want to hold off too long where she loses interest. And if she says she's losing interest, it's only a front, kinda like if you tell a broad that if she doesn't come off the drawlz soon, you will be out, when you know damn well that the moment she puts the stuff in your face, you'll be right there to 'beat it up'. IT'S A BLUFF.

Once you are sexually attracted to someone, it NEVER goes away, no matter what they say. Different circumstances and situations might prevent the sex act from happening, but this doesn't mean that she still wouldn't give it up if conditions were perfect. Remember that. This is where the second main key comes into play.

OBSERVATION. Actually, this comes before patience, as once a situation has been properly observed then analyzed (which we will get into later), this makes being patient a whole lot easier as you will be able so see things developing. I cannot stress enough how important being able to correctly observe a situation really is.

"Chase a whore, you get a chump's weak cop,
Stalk a whore, you get a pimp's strong cop."

-Iceberg Slim, PIMP

Btw I'm also almost sure that a cashier at supermarket I bought stuff today liked me - She gave me looks when I stood in the line and her voice was shaking when she gave me change.

Once you are sexually attracted to someone, it NEVER goes away, no matter what they say.

It's kinda like picking fruit. Let's say that you have a garden just full with all kinds of fruit trees, plants, whatever. You may like different kinds of fruit, but you know which one is your favorite, so you naturally go to get that particular type first (let's say it's a mango). Well, apparently the mangos aren't ripe yet, so now what? You'll eat some grapes, an apple, an orange, though all the time you are slowly waiting for the mangos to ripen. The moment they are ready to eat, you are right there to eat them. Now, you are probably thinking how the hell does this relate to pimpin'? Allow me to explain.

This is a simple explanation of natural selection. Natural selection is strongly influenced by front and clout. In this example, just being a mango is the front. Whether it is ready to eat or not is the clout. Generally speaking, a woman knows what kind of man she is
looking for. She has known since she was a little girl. When she finds that man, the actions she takes will depend on the clout of that particular guy. This doesn't mean she just sits and waits, 'cause hoes gotta eat too. Substitute the eating of other friuts to dating other
people. This girl, though she will be seeing other people, will 'check in' periodically to see how your clout is 'shaping up'. The moment your clout reaches critical mass, is the moment she finally decides to reveal these 'feelings' she's had for you over the last 9 years. What you decide to do with this 'prodigal' broad is up to you, but I would make that bitch post bail, i.e. 'prove her love to me' before I reciprocate.

I suspect this be the case. Her sudden change of interest in poker when I told everybody I'm going to be a poker dealer and asking me to tell her how it went seems like a piece of evidence. And somehow the rest seems so too.
It doesn't change anything in the end. I have to go forward.

Wow.. I'm where I was, I didn't do it properly or it didn't work. I still feel like shit without a girl Regrets again about everything I fucked up in the past.
I tried to watch the stream of thoughts (As Pregerinus suggested in a thread) but it doesn't really help anything, I'm good for a while and then I'm back at feeling like shit because of this.
It's always: a problem -> trying to solve the problem -> I can't solve the problem -> It's bothering me and I feel like shit

What boggles me is that when I read your early posts, you were doing JUST FINE, but now you seem to have taken on a 'downward spiral' ... Why ?

I will take a wild guess :
You don't see the real problem.
You trying to solve a problem is a problem in itself.
You don't solve the problems because you like complaining about them.
You like to feel like shit because you don't want to put the efforts to 'change' (although you KNOW the way, you have WALKED the walk ...).

Maybe there was something from two years ago that you didn't like (although some other parts were going great for you), and instead of changing that, you have completely turned yourself from your self ...

All that is just what came out, no offense, and if of no relevance, forget it ...

On a side note :
The past is finished, you can do nothing about it, except either making the same mistakes or LEARNING from them.
Don't try to watch the stream of thoughts if it doesn't work for you, read this : Inner work preferences

Let's face it, fufe...you might not be built for this...no shame in that.

I'm very much aware of this, from the beginning since I came here...

I just can't stand that I'm destined to end like my father and his father, symping up a woman into marriage when the woman didn't like them and then end up without any woman lol
I just hoped I can adapt as much as I can from this forum so I can be different than them in this.. Otherwise I respect my father