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Well, so that sucks...
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Author:  StephenP [ Tue Jul 17, 2012 5:43 am ]
Post subject:  Well, so that sucks...
A girl I've been seeing for over a year who was absolutely amazing, what I thought was my x-factor. Everything on paper was almost too good to be true. We became exclusive, I dropped all other girls, over the past two months. Within these two months things changed drastically, granted I was not perfect. We would have fights and i would go out and get numbers (probably to feed my still slightly lingering need for validation) and then make up.

But funny how once I agreed to be committed things changed so quickly and the demands for more lovey-dovey stuff started coming, demands for marriage, and wanting a kid before she got too old came like an avalanche.

I have now lost a lot of faith in humanity and especially the opposite sex. I even tried to bend on some of her demands and things got worse. We've fought for the last week straight, i fully called her out and stormed out and now we just ended it.

So true that you HAVE to be your own best friend. Everyone is in it for themselves :(

Sorry about this bitch post but have to get it off my chest.
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Tue Jul 17, 2012 6:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
Best part is now she's gonna begging back...it is the way of things. :geek:
Author:  Star_Above [ Tue Jul 17, 2012 6:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
To elaborate on what shitgator said, Listen to the lyrics of this song very carefully and follow suit...then you can have the last laugh when she starts blowing your phone up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFzHvOv6oGo

When you became "exclusive" you ceased to become a challenge and you went from being a Louis Vuiton handbag to a K-Mart purse in her eyes, women are always looking for the bigger better thing,...which is why I'm so down on relationships, if you never give her all of you then you're always going to be that bigger better thing.
Author:  StephenP [ Tue Jul 17, 2012 4:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
Thanks, and yes this is what my gut tells me, still isn't easy though
The Kidd!! wrote:
Best part is now she's gonna begging back...it is the way of things. :geek:
Author:  StephenP [ Tue Jul 17, 2012 4:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
Appreciate it, those lyrics are epic!

And ya almost comical, yet the reality is disappointing how quickly and abruptly things changed once we went "exclusive"
Star_Above wrote:
To elaborate on what shitgator said, Listen to the lyrics of this song very carefully and follow suit...then you can have the last laugh when she starts blowing your phone up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFzHvOv6oGo

When you became "exclusive" you ceased to become a challenge and you went from being a Louis Vuiton handbag to a K-Mart purse in her eyes, women are always looking for the bigger better thing,...which is why I'm so down on relationships, if you never give her all of you then you're always going to be that bigger better thing.
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Tue Jul 17, 2012 4:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
When she comes back, make sure that you are ready to be the man you NEED to be and not the man she WANTS you to be.

...and I also hope she doesn't come back pregnant like my retarded ex-keeper did...UGH! :?
Author:  Star_Above [ Tue Jul 17, 2012 8:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
The Kidd!! wrote:
When she comes back, make sure that you are ready to be the man you NEED to be and not the man she WANTS you to be.
Indeed!
The Kidd!! wrote:
...and I also hope she doesn't come back pregnant like my retarded ex-gf did...UGH! :?
Fixed ;)
Author:  Sniper [ Tue Jul 17, 2012 9:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
thanks for sharing StephenP,

something I don't understand in this story,

you said:
Quote:
But funny how once I agreed to be committed things changed so quickly and the demands for more lovey-dovey stuff started coming, demands for marriage, and wanting a kid before she got too old came like an avalanche.
a girl's biological clock is ticking and it's normal she wants to have a kid before she is too old.

The Kidd's ex-keeper is still very young and still in school so what she did was stupid...

but how old is your chick?
Author:  peregrinus [ Tue Jul 17, 2012 10:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
There is a moral in this story:

Finish how you start!
Author:  peregrinus [ Tue Jul 17, 2012 10:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
Sniper wrote:
but how old is your chick?
Irrelevant question Sniper..

{edit}
Was asked the following question: I noticed (and you probably noticed too) that women close to 30 or above 30 tend to be more I want to get married and have kids now.. as opposed to a 22-23 year old girl. why is it irrelevant?

Will expand a bit on my comment....

Yes, women in their 30's/40's tend to be more 'I want kids now' as their biological clock is ticking and at some point it will go off. It will start ticking so loud you can hear it down the street, blocks away. Their time is running out and their body knows it.

However

Women who are younger will experience the same thing if the conditions are right, not in their head, in their gut, if the stars align and the signs are right, their clock will go off.

Given what StephenP said in his post, relating his actions and mindset, to her the stars were aligning and the conditions were right, hence her clock started ticking.

Given that, her age is irrelevant.

If you read his post slowly and carefully and look for it, the signs are there.
Author:  StephenP [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 1:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
peregrinus wrote:
There is a moral in this story:

Finish how you start!

This is true, I can look back and see subtle ways that I basically became her bitch. However was it wrong for me to go exclusive after starting with no commitment. I'm thinking going exclusive is ok just with that there were ways I gave my power away??

I have a feeling that me walking and not begging to get her back will start to rattle her, but time will tell.

She's about to turn 27 Sniper FWIW
Author:  StephenP [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 2:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
The Kidd!! wrote:
When she comes back, make sure that you are ready to be the man you NEED to be and not the man she WANTS you to be.

...and I also hope she doesn't come back pregnant like my retarded ex-keeper did...UGH! :?
Good advice, I've been reflecting a lot on where I went wrong. A lot of subtle, some not so subtle ways of compromising myself and letting her manipulate me.

At least if she comes back pregnant, i'm 99.9% sure it's not mine. I've been 100% on the precautions, as I've aged no longer want to play that type of roulette whatsoever.
Author:  StephenP [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 2:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
Nice follow up peregrinus!

Amazing the insights you can gather - I went back over my own post and can see the clues you caught onto.
Author:  Sniper [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 3:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
thank you Grinus,

now I undersatand
Author:  Flow83 [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 3:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
Quote:
So true that you HAVE to be your own best friend. Everyone is in it for themselves
Including ourselves! The more I see it in myself the more I accept this is the way it is, and it becomes more about dealing, rather than spiraling into anger or blame (either them or yourself) about it, FWIW.
Author:  StephenP [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 4:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
Flow83 wrote:
Quote:
So true that you HAVE to be your own best friend. Everyone is in it for themselves
Including ourselves! The more I see it in myself the more I accept this is the way it is, and it becomes more about dealing, rather than spiraling into anger or blame (either them or yourself) about it, FWIW.
So so true, I've been seeing this a lot in myself as well. It all started one day when i gave this super friendly bum a couple dollars. And exactly, the more I see it in myself, the more I accept it.

It really is a good feeling when you get over the butthurt of seeing reality for what it is and come to accept truths that most people won't dare look at.
Author:  StephenP [ Sun Jul 22, 2012 4:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
So I woke up to 7 missed calls from around 2:30am last night :roll:
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Sun Jul 22, 2012 4:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
StephenP wrote:
So I woke up to 7 missed calls from around 2:30am last night :roll:
[ img ]
Author:  peregrinus [ Sun Jul 22, 2012 5:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
StephenP wrote:
So I woke up to 7 missed calls from around 2:30am last night :roll:
Bravo on not letting your phone interrupt your sleep time.
Author:  StephenP [ Sun Jul 22, 2012 5:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Well, so that sucks...
peregrinus wrote:
StephenP wrote:
So I woke up to 7 missed calls from around 2:30am last night :roll:
Bravo on not letting your phone interrupt your sleep time.
Ha, always turn on alarm only. Sleep = Imperative
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