Natural Freedom

It seems that everything is clear now, so I will extract all those things I've accumulated in my brain, cleansing up a little bit.

Why writing another thread on this subject ? It has been said so many times, rewritten, quoted, reinforced, manipulated that my honnest answer is, FOR MY SAKE

One minute spent really living is better than the time reading all those things, so don't expect anything out of this ^^

The italic parts are my thoughts while writing (I could have posted the thread under the name : Golden Boy, thought naked ^^)


Part 1 : The quest, what gather "boys" around this type of forum (even if this one is wayyyyy better ! )

It seems that certain people come to this kind of forum (for the PUA community is founded on this and some come with the wanting of another teacher) with the demand of ways to "seduce women" (getting them into bed as fast as possible, blah blah blah), they focus all their energy on "how can I make that bitch happy" (referring to Chris Rock) ... so that they can have what they "can't resist....'nana" (Kidd). They are ready to do EVERYTHING to get into their pants (being nice, agreeing on everything, lying, corrupting themselves, paying).

So why do the majority fail ? Doesn't it seem contradictory with the common belief that you HAVE TO be nice to women ... to get them ?

Part 2 : The changing of mentality : It's your life "Rule #2 - YOU are the most important person (in the relationship). David X".
Another way to put it "women want to be taken on an adventure; they don't want to BE the adventure. Zan"
Basically, you must live YOUR life, not following what everyone else wants for you (quotes are also meant to be a joke for this one) -> CREATE YOUR OWN RULES, FOR YOU !

Even if you like the Kidd, Peregrinus, Brent and others, you notice that they are all DIFFERENT, UNIQUE ... in appearance, BUT they all share one thing in common, they have their "OWN" MINDSET, so don't be like them, BE YOURSELF.

Find what makes you unique, what makes you tick, DO EVERYTHING in your power to better your life (to have a life you're PROUD of, content), it's like growing from boy to becoming a MAN.

Everything else comes into place after this.

WHY ? Because it's a double edged sword:
- When you want to achieve something, everything is put on perspective, and you realize that what mattered before may be getting in the way of the things that you really want. -> YOU BECOME ATTRACTIVE (CONFIDENCE + INDIFFERENCE)

- "Their subconcious mind picks up on the content vibe, that you are
not 'looking'. This causes them to react conciously to get your attention, " Kidd
"all we men need is a little patience. Sure, you can get what you want now if you want to work for it, but why not work on yourself, bide your time, then watch broads work on getting with you? " Kidd
-> THEY LOVE IT

Is that all I have to say for the mindset ? ...

Ah, I got it
What I forgot to say is why it is SO IMPORTANT to focus on YOURSELF :

1) BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS DO THIS, but not in a good way ...
"As a man thinks in his heart, so is he" James Allen quoted the Book of Proverbs chapter 23 verse 7.
"A man is what he thinks about all day long." Emerson
"If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." - Henry Ford

oh my god I'm speaking of the Law of Attraction

How does your MIND direct your life ?
A more accurate question would probably be, Why have you let your mind rule you ?
The subconscious is a "meaning making machine", it takes what you PUT YOURSELF into, and DIRECT ALL ITS ENERGY towards that goal. That's why affirmations WILL NEVER WORK !!
You have to go beyond thoughts, to the "REAL YOU".

Basically, you can spend all your day saying "I'm a badass with women, I'll make 10k next month, I have a big ... (bank account ), AND staying in front of your computer, nothing will change, because THE REAL YOU is : IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER SAYING AFFIRMATIONS !!! That's what gonna attract things to you.

From this, two roads :
-Instead of affirmations, A WHOLE EXPERIENCE (Visualizing, Smelling, Feeling, Hearing) -> LIVING as if it was ALREADY THERE ... (the brain cannot say the difference between reality and this "daydream")
-Instead of affirmations, REALLY LIVING, focusing on other things, LETTING GO OF THE WANTING.

That closes my view of the mind.

I understand Kidd and Grinus when they say they have a hard time putting their thoughts, knowledge into words ...

2) BECAUSE WOMEN RULE THE WORLD (so THEY decide their mate) !!!!!! (Some will choke on this red pill)

YOU CAN'T MAKE A GIRL ATTRACTED TO YOU! Period (OF COURSE she can still be attracted to your money, cinema, drinks, restaurant ... as long as you keep offering it)

From this, only one intelligent thing to do -> CHOOSE THE BEST ONE WHO CHOSE YOU !!!

One quote to remember : "Once you are sexually attracted to someone, it NEVER goes away, no matter what they say." Kidd

The important question here isn't "How can I make this girl like me ?" BUT "How can I be sure which girls like me ?"

One path to follow : BE A DETECTIVE -> Observe, analyse, gather evidence, make her confess !
Or even : BE SUBTLE LIKE THEM (When you think she knows not much about you from what you said, BE SURE that she has noticed your watch, your smile, your smoking, your handcase, your "behaviour", anything to put a "PRICE" on you)

Kidd's Covert Tactics is all you need for that (once you have the mindset)

Apparté :
This goes for everything.
What can you take away from it for "growth" in a field (exploring everything you don't know, putting yourself into situations you know trigger you) : The "fifth stage : conscious competence of unconscious competence".

The goal (obviously) is achieving Unconscious competence.
It can take decades, years, months ... depending on your will, your efforts and dedication.

Part 3 : The reap
"Remember, everything happens for a reason" Kidd
Once she's attracted to YOU she will "put herself in position" (being in sight, starting conversation, "accidently" bumping into you, rubbing herself ...) do what you want with it/her.
THIS is the advantage, she's REALLY attracted to you, not some "representative" you show, and maybe she doesn't even know it ... or at least wouldn't suspect that you know.
Now that you've sown the seeds of your "new life", it seems that women can be qualified as "weeds" on your garden (read : they appear by themselves in your garden which they like) and whether you decide to keep it or not is your choice. (Some weeds are amazingly good for YOUR health, others less)

Here ends the "organized part" which is MY INTERPRETATION of the teachings of The Kidd and others

Now, "pot pourri" of ideas and concepts :

The concept of Space :
What is the first thing that pops in my head when I hear space ?
The "void", the "blackness" of the night without moon.

How to relate to this ?
Reduce your amount of thoughts (I was gonna say "try to" but there is no try, only doing), speak less, spend time alone.
Sloggan here : LESS IS MORE.
Always follow the KISS principle : Keep It SSimple (I'm not calling you Stupid unlike someone )

How does it help you : Calmness, more energy (less spent), more focused (In my opinion only, I didn't do any scientific research on it ).
BYPRODUCT : The less on your part, the more "they" will "have to" fill on their own (which they love).


ABC of MINDSET :
A = The knowledge : Pimposophy + Covert tactics
B = Becoming a man : Bettering yourself, taking responsibility for your thoughts and actions : CONFIDENCE + INDIFFERENCE
C = The results: You can act accordingly to your set of values and preferences for women who YOU KNOW want you, and letting her do all the work (easier and easier when years pass thanks to Marquee Value)



Some random thoughts :

What is the most important element of all those teachings: the Mindset.
Which questions has driven man crazy since the development of the mind : "What is the meaning of life ?" "How to be happy ?" "Who am I ?"
Can these questions be answered ? YES & NO
Why ? Because the only tool which can be used to answer is THE VERY ONE that asked the question, so the only way to answer is only by killing the question, to really experience the answer.
Is knowledge good or bad ?
It seems that for material goals, knowledge ease up the process of having what you want (what kind of car do you want ? Learning a new language ...). Knowing what to look for, gathering everything you can will sure help you having it faster.
On the other end, for "spiritual" goals (How can I be a better man ? How can I be happy ? ...) it would be the opposite, really just "do nothing", letting your core express itself instead of covering it for the intent of discovering it. Then knowledge comes with the wanting of yourself.

Exemple : When you try to learn a language, you already know the process of it , you start learning the basics, then grammar, vocabulary, ...
When it involves you, you don't really know what to look for, so you will see some gurus / teachers to know what to do. This is a dead-end for many because money comes into play and some people just love it ... So you will end up sniffing through one nostril after another, repeating mantras all day, anything. Of course some people will tell you the "truth", YOUR QUEST IS THE THING THAT STOP YOU FROM BEING WHAT YOU ARE (WHICH IS WHAT YOU WANT) -> zen meditation, letting go (Buddha achieved his state under a tree, not when he was in the cave starving ...)


The liaison of the mind and the body :
Train The Body - The Mind Will Follow <-> Exercise your mind and the body will follow.
Did you ever wonder why you're calm after a long day / physical exercice ? Because of this.
Why is there a meditation to look every inch of your body and relax that part ? Because it calms the mind too.
I wouldn't go as far as saying that every "chronic disease" (read, not "born from an external stimulus" like a bruise, burn ...) is in the mind or the contrary, but it sure is linked on a level.
What can one take away from this : If the body is relaxed, the mind is too, letting go of tensions in your body help your mind.
Simple exercice for the sceptic : Focus your attention on your body and relax it, you'll see the effects on your mind (and that's when you will say : nothing changed and I say you did wrong )


Is society crazy ?

I would say it depends on many factors :
1) What is crazy ?
The fact that the "poor / weak" women can do what she wants ?
"In the world there is nothing more submissive and weak than water (read women). Yet for attacking that which is hard and strong nothing can surpass it." Lao-Tzu
That some directors earn $$$ when they kick out employees to earn more ?
That we throw our food / water when other starve to death ? (and often we exploit the same countries for our good)

2) What is society ?
For me, it's just a big fat giant community of people.
If it's a community of people, maybe the problem sits IN people, not in society
What to take away from this : You can't chagne people, you can only change your behaviour.

3)Even if it is, why living by the rules of society ?
When you know the rules and consider it "bad", you can learn how to break them.
Or even to live by your own rules, freeing yourself of these rules (of course you still part of it).


What is the only way to live a fulfilling life ? Nature / Nurture
From nature you received your genes, your body : Yourself as a baby, the REAL YOU (your natural state).
Nurture either reinforce your "nature" which leads to having a healthy life, or the opposite.
How ? Your genes are constantly repairing, rebuilding themselves from your environment, what you learn through life ...

What to remember ? We are all good at something, we all have our "personal legend" to live.
"We cannot command nature except by obeying her" Francis Bacon
Personal translation : "We cannot change our nature, so we have to accept to be what we ARE"


Basic dichotomies :
From the moment you start to separate the one (read : when your mind starts), there is always good or bad, tall and small, rich and poor.
You can see the stupidness of these with your mind :
- Is a spider bad for catching a butterfly on her web ? (if you say yes, consider that the butterfly have lived freely all its life before being catched whereas the spider just waits and waits possibly starving if nothing comes to its web)
- "my '92 Honda Accord on 16" chromies is all the rage in Tucson, AZ, but it ain't SQUAT here in Las Vegas, NV. " Kidd
But you can't intellectually get rid of these, because they are defined/linked on/with their "contrary".
You can't speak of rich people if there is no poor people, get it ? When do you draw the line between rich and poor ?


Freedom of choice
I choose not to speak of it
Joke appart, I think that there is no such thing as freedom of choice.
What you think today WILL BE your tomorrow, so everything you do today as been thought of before, but as for you don't listen to your thoughts, you're not aware of this ...
When you "are aware", however, you are also aware of your "path", so even if it's you can "jump this building", "stay in your bed", you KNOW that it's not the best thing to do for you, so it's the same, you have the freedom but won't use it, for the better ...
Why would you want freedom of choice when you know all of your choices lead you to what you want ?

Now ends my "endless" post for now (I may add a few things later on when I something pop in my head ... it's kinda like my journal)

Again, I post this for putting my thoughts down, to clear things, to get rid of these thoughts in my head so it's calmer than ever up here.
I don't think it has value at all for others, except if you want to know how my mind works (which I doubt ...)

PS : I didn't reread it entirely so it may be "impossible" to read ...

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

That was a lot of stuff buzzing around in your head. But let me ask you something. Don't take this the wrong way, but how much of that stuff can you 100% say is the truth for you at the moment? I only ask because I used to have similar revelations in the past, writing it down and thinking that I knew the answers. As I've grown I've discovered that mindset is hard to put into words because it is something that you are, not something you do.

You can make a female attracted to you. It's why we call it Value theory. The important part to know is that there are two ways, active and passive. Your money, clothes, image, and persona are passive traits. This is were active attraction begins. My uncle was lecturing my cousin about females and he said, "The difference between me and you (to my cousin) is that I tell bitches what I want them to hear, and you tell bitches what you think they want to hear." Both of them get females, and both ways work. However, this is where players run into problems. They aren't genuine and bitches smell the change on the menu.

That is why in active attraction (speaking) you have values, set boundaries, work off principles, and basically pimp. She either likes your menu, or she doesn't like your menu; however, the presentation of the menu is very important. I could tell two women that I'll fuck them once a week. In the first case I say, "I'm gonna hit once a week." In the second case I say,"Once a week we'll convene at jump off so we can get this tryst started." Which case is going to be more widely accepted (By the way I hate rhetorical questions)? Presentation is power.

My whole point is demonstrated by the Kidd's quote. As long as you don't change your actions and principles from when you first met the female, without out chasing her, she will continue to like you. This is the foundation of showing off that menu, the foundation and what allows active attraction. If money, wealth, and status were the only factors then you would never be able to have bitch because they would forget about you the moment you're out of their site. That's the important passive half.

I would amend your point on attraction to be that you can never convince a female who doesn't already see potential or like you into being attracted to you.

Here's a good phrase to sum it up. Passive keeps Active Greets. There is a caveat that I think about passive attraction. I have yet to prove it to myself, but there are extra passive traits/issues that keep women besides money and status. I listed persona because that's perceived when you're in groups/with a person. It's different from personality. Vibe would be a good word.

Damn you, you made me reread my post ^^

There are two different things :
How much I think is true ? I didn't write it to say things I don't consider true ... so 100 %
How much I live ? probably 0-1 %. Why, because the amount of thoughts when I live is very reduced, and I usually don't think of something that isn't related to my immediate environment or my "work / occupation at the moment".

Also, my / your interpretation of the truth is never the truth.
For exemple : You smile at a girl, she doesn't smile back, and go.
Two usual ways to interpret : "I'm not good enough, I'm useles ..."
"She has a boyfriend, she lost her grandmother or whatever"
Or even "I'm simply not her type"

What is the truth ? How can you know it ?
Better choose the last option, because even if it's not the truth (and it possibly is too), it's the better one for you, allowing you to focus on something else ...

I don't know if that answers your question ...

The truth you speak can never be the REAL truth, the LIVING truth, that's why I said it has no value for others.
Also, even if these are thoughts, I can only say these are my thoughts at the moment because they were flowing in my head when I post it, but thoughts come and go ... some replace others.


rkd1990,
First of all, were you also born in 1990 ?

I put the "guenine part" on the "B = Becoming a man : Bettering yourself, taking responsibility for your thoughts and actions : CONFIDENCE + INDIFFERENCE" and didn't talk about the other (player part) cauz it's not something to look forward to ...
I would say the second, but how would you translate it in comprehensible english ? "Once a week we'll have sex to see if we can start/continue our relation" ?
(Sorry for answering a rhetorical question)

Here's some definitions of what I wasn't sure : Having enough value to attract women is not a goal to have.
You have value because that's what you want (money, confidence, status) ... and some women are attracted, but you're NOT active in that part (that's why you call it passive attraction).
So you're not making women attracted to you by your value, your value attract women to you ...
That's how i see it

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

You focus on definitions too much, but since you want to focus on definitions then look up the definition of possession versus ownership. When you understand the difference between these two words you'll understand how you really passively attract females.

All I'm going to say is that your possessions don't attract females. Your ownership of possessions attract females. Possession of materials alone will never get you females; ownership matters.

Edit: I'm going to give you another hint. You are mistaking creation of attraction with the act of attracting. Think physics everything already attracts it's just a matter of how strong.

I focus on definitions because I'm not a native english, so to really understand what you say, I have to understand the basic meaning of the words ... (never read the word tryst before ... for exemple)
How to relate to this : You can rent a big house, it wouldn't be as good as owning a smaller house ?

When I posted the first post, I wanted to clear things, now you're adding more concepts, more thinking for me to do ... I don't know if I want to thank you or not
I may have done so, care to explain ?
The creation of attraction is simply a matter of how much value a woman see in you (passive attraction) whereas the "act of attraction" is your "active attraction", the knowing of your boundaries, principles ??
So I have to put on weight so I can attract more (sorry couldn't help )

Thanks for your concern by the way, nonetheless, I posted all this for a reason : less thinking, more living ....
It's time for me to put my thoughts into life, to make my experiences (whatever some may say, the best teacher is nature/experience)

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

I don't know where you got your definitions from about possession and ownership.

Ownership is your relation to the possession. You either value it highly, lowly, covet, etc.

Possession is just having it.

Ownership is the difference between two multimillionaires who have the same status but have different results in keeping females.

I'm not adding more concepts. I'm just breaking them down into their smallest pieces so you can look from the ground up. It's like showing you different species of trees so you can understand the forest ecosystem.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Attraction

Creation of attraction has nothing to do with the value a woman see's in you. Stop thinking about women and focus on yourself.

Attraction already exists with every person in the world. There is no creation. That's why I was saying you're confusing how attraction works. A bitch doesn't see you, have a feeling well up inside her, and then like you.

All acts are passive or active and can amplify or diminish attraction.

This is as basic as it gets. You attract women by amplifying their innate attraction. With some women you can amplify attraction and some you can't. Since attraction already exists you cannot create it.

The best way to think about this is a question, "If you were alone in a room with a 300 pound fat girl with a plastic prosthetic leg and an ugly face, smelling sweaty and stinky, would you fuck her?"

If your answer is no then you're lying to yourself, and you have much more to work on besides finding out about women.

I liked your post ... thanks for the heads up
JUST TO BE SURE : Of course ownership means to be detached from our possessions ?

I don't know if I would have fucked her, I have to have more infos (alone on earth, or if I leave the room I have a 6" blond nice looking swedish girl waiting ? ) but thanks for the clarifications ...

Point taken

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

NOPE!

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Ah at least ^^ he freaked me out when he said I would lie to myself

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

That's what Cameron explained about the 'dating Gurus' and their success, it's not just technicks and it's not affirmations. They all have an edge in something:

http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=961

_________________
"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

@ Kidd: LOL

Ownership doesn't mean to be detached from that shit. Lol, we aren't monks.

Ownership means to own that shit and make it your own. The distinction is just to not get too wrapped up in your position.

If you own a lambo and your life would be wrecked if you lost it, got it stolen, or destroyed it you shouldn't have it or drive it around everyday. You definitely shouldn't roll up in that lambo in front of a bitch because she'll probably see that it means too much to you.

However, if losing the lambo doesn't destroy your life then you demonstrated great qualities. You'll make people respect your sense of culture and taste in vehicles. You'll be vibing on shit that everyone will can and want to get down on.

Its like rocking classic Jordans and playing basketball in them when most people won't. You're badass for having them, and you're showing you're down to earth by using them for what they're meant for.

And replace the pua ebooks with actual psychology. Like getting wholesome food instead of candy.

_________________
"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

That's what I meant when I said detached. (That you can live with or without YOUUUU - sorry ... them)
Don't you like the version King Warrior Magician Lover of Dr Paul ?

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

New salvo of thoughts :
I was just reading this (it's from the guy from the attraction flowchart) : Now it resonates with Kidd (male is logic / female is emotions) but what doesn't resonates right is the "I use everything I've learned ... to have control", like you have to control everything for you to have perfect relashionships ... as I read in another post : "TOO MUCH WORK" !!

Of course with the premise that "Knowledge is power", the more you know, the more easy your life become, but is it really ?

What is there to know really (in this field) ? Social dynamics are called dynamics because it's alive, it's always changing ...
And you can't capture life itself and containing it and explaining it.
It's the reflection of the truth through you're conditionning (nature vs nurture ?), everything you get out of your knowledge is not the truth.
It may work for "material" things, like repairing a computer, a car or knowledge driven by action.
But you can't assume that because you learn how women work, how they react, how they test you ... you'll have the upper-hand.

It's like the "real learning" is only to trust your gut (in this field).
"You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want. ~Margaret Young"

If you really don't give a fuck, why spending time reading psychology books (or pua books), videos, ... speaking of your exploits and stories with others ?

STOP, other ramblings ...
My mind is still stuck in this "Who am I ?" "There is nothing to understand"
It's a struggle inside, there's a battle between life / me / reality, and thought / mind / ego which become weaker and weaker each day and negating everything that is trying to implant in my mind, like everything is meaningless, the quest itself (of finding the truth) is meaningless.

So when I am in "that state", even writing this seems futile, but it kinda like type the words by itself, just the moaning of my internal struggle, the words appear out of nowhere and bam it's written on the screen in front of me.
I could spend the day sitting here, doing nothing except looking at the floater in my left eye when I move it.

But when thoughts occur, there's a quest, to have the kind of life I always wanted (to live a peaceful life in the mountains), to learn everything that triggers and interest in me (men women relashionships have been a big one lately, with "the quest of the truth, reaching enlightenment") but even with knowledge it seems futile :
Enlightenment is JUST accepting the truth, seeing that you're not you're body, your thoughts, you're just life itself and everything born out of thought is a DREAM created by your knowledge (but again this phrase is as meaningless as saying that I have a black laptop in front of me).
Male female relashionship is JUST accepting that men and women are born complementary, but the upbringing of anybody condition his/her natural tendencies to behave like a sheep, following what others said (your mama tells you to not speak to a boy if he doesn't offer you a cookie ... even if you want to) while she grow apart of her natural tendencies.

For the courageous people who are willing to read this shit, I still type this to flush it out of my system COMPLETELY, because it seems to work nice that way based on the first time


Back to what I was saying, to clarify things a little in what concerns this forum :
In the field of men and women relashionships, I say it is meaningless because :
The knowledge that women are the one who choose their mate isn't going to help you find a mate.
It's just KILLING :
- Your wanting of copulating with as many women as (you think) you want based on your attraction to them only.
And ENABLING you :
- To focus more on yourself (WHICH you should have been doing the whole time) to be a man women want to be with instead of the contrary.
- To see that the tests a woman gives is just her way of showing interest in you and to gauje if you're really the type of man that she wanted when she "saw" you.

The knowledge that men have it good in the end (Marquee Value) isn't going to help you find a mate.
It's just KILLING :
- Your wanting to stay in a creepy relashionship because you know the more you grow (not spiritually, but financially and healthily) the more buses of women will come honking at you.
And ENABLING you to see that when women come gently and hoping to get at you years after she dumped you or smiled at you like you were nothing to her, it's only because her clock is ticking.

The concept of space isn't going to help you find a mate.
It's just KILLING :
- Your desire / wanting of DOING HER part of the work (thinking about you, getting more involved than you)
And ENABLING you to do other (more important ?) things , and ENABLING her feelings to "run wild" which could / should be a good sign for you.

Well I'm not gonna do them all, it's just to say nothing help you find a mate, because it's not on your side (well if you intend to do a lot of work and probably ending it later with one of you broke, yes you can chase ...) ... it's just helping you to see which ones like you and choosing from them the one or plus who you accept in your life, on your terms (well it is your life after all).

I went eating meanwhile so I may rewrite some things differently (which is the only thing one can do btw ...)

Well now speaking about me :
I'm 21, I entend to be a farmer and live a quiet life in a small village.
Physically, I'm 1.69 m (5"6' or 5"7'), for 48 kilos (skinny type), but muscular (cause of work and some exercise probably).
I have a "big nose", Sarkozy type, which people usually pointed out when they mocked me ( ), it used to make me kinda insecure kinda angry when people said "you've got a really big nose" (not quoting The Life of Brian ^^), now I don't mind (even if I don't know if I should say "thank you" "wow you're quite an observant person" or anything), it's just there and I don't intend to change it so be it ...
I also had problem with my height / weight (I skipped a class when I was little, so I was always with people one year older (or more ...)) coz you know, "you're not well fed" "maybe you have the tenia" or many quite laughing made-up jokes.
I could change my weight (I believe like Kidd did, and many others) but it would surely involve creatine, eating 6 times a day and other things I don't want (I may have inherited my grand father genes, he was skinny like me even though he ate more than any other ... so I decided to not do a thing except eating when I am hungry (every three hours), until my body says stop (not puking, just the feeling that it's enough) and that's all).

I don't talk much, except when asked a question or saying "hi how was your day ?" "How are you ?" ... (I talked about it when I joined this forum, it hasn't changed) because I still believe that communication is for the purpose of exchanging vital pieces of information, not indulging in small talk (even if I do with the people I really want to know ... but usually after they have a talk with my mother (I will move out in april on my land) I have already discerned which type of person he/she is and decide whether or not to indulge in communication).

My mother say I'm an introvert (like it's a bad thing), asocial, other heartwarming words (I'm in really good terms with her, it's just she speak all the time so she throws some words which can hurt some without thinking it (she is probably the most extrovert person I know, she speaks to think ^^) but when people talk to me they say "you're the only normal person in this family"

Enough of me.

I had another point to discuss today : CONfirmation vs AFFirmation.
I may use bad AFFirmations sometimes (I sucked, I'm stupid) when I do unnecessary work (like trying to find the result of an equation when it was in front of me (my neighbour's children come from time to time to help them in mathematics, and other. So I noticed I say that because once I said I was stupid and he burst into laughter ^^)
BUT I know it doesn't change a thing, it isn't even band aid, at best it is denial, at worst it is "domestic violence
For CONfirmation, the problem I think is that you give credit to people when they say good things to you "You're the most awesome dude I met", "You're wonderful", when you know very well they're "full of shit". In my view, if you deny the contempt of some phrases one say, you have to deny the person that said them.

Like I could say anything about how awesome you are, ... and I say that I believe I saw UFOs, the grinch ... by what standards can you say that the phrases regarding you were true but the others were wrong ? (by yours, so if you really believe you're awesome, you DON'T EVEN NEED confirmation) not to say it's not good when it's said, but you still know that behind the phrase there's an intention (getting back at you, wanting you to identify with him/her ...).

So why do I say all this ?
For you to say : "It's a smart dude ...", "He didn't understand a thing we said on this forum", "He should be interned" ? I would say no.
We haven't met in real life yet I feel I am closer to you (all of you) than even my relatives or close friends (why ? because I don't communicate with them, dummy ! No just kidding, because you seem more "alive" than these sheeps).
Even though we are bound to disagree on some things, we know jolly good that nobody can tell you what to think, how to live, what is true (for each has his own reality) ... that's what make us unique, not trying to fit into the mold of society which wants anyone to fit into the "model created".

That's all for now.

Again, I didn't reread this post, so excuse for : faults, repetitiveness.
What I do not excuse : Thoughts explained on the thread, the tone ("I don't mean to sound cold or cruel or vicious, but I am, so that's just the way it comes out" -- Bill Hicks).

Boy I look forward of reading this in ten years !

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

I started looking again at this thread and I realize I have never written/talked so much ... and that I couldn't even go through what I wrote, I feel like this is useless for others, and for me too (because once I wrote, I let it go) so I shouldn't have posted it.

However, I will now TRY to finish the work I began in this thread (being completely honest, without doubts) just to FINISH HOW I STARTED THIS THREAD

I say try because everytime I wrote something (on Zenwriter, nice idea Dali), I delete everything, because it either clarified the things I wanted to talk or I realised it didn't matter (so that it was useless to spam this board).

Now where was I ?

This will probably be my hardest thing to write (well not exactly, it writes itself) because I don't see the utility of writing (just thinking of those who will read it hoping to get 'something' out of it, or those thinking I have issues with what is written ...), so that there's a constant flow guiding me to the red cross to close internet, but I would just sit where I am, facing my library waiting my stomach to put me to cook something.

I will categorise things in an attempt of clarity (and if questions occur I will put them at the end) :

My stituation :
I'm 21, close to being a farmer (just have to wait the bureaucracy) so that my clout will be well established (MY clout, I would rather be farming alone than being at wall street (even if I would earn millions), doing something I despise, with all the ungrateful Bit***s that would jock my money), I will soon move in my land (for starter, in a garden house of 16 or 19 m², but within two or three years, if I'm good, I'm allowed to build up to 250 m².

I'm still a virgin, and the thought of spending all my life alone doesn't phase me at all.
I have no sexual drive whatsoever (I do get slightly turned on when I hear a beautiful voice on the phone, a graceful movement, ...) and no wanting to be with a woman (well if a beautiful woman knock at my door, and come to rape me I don't know how I would react, but the drive to GET a woman is inexistant).
Adding to that that I don't have a drive to do ANYTHING (except eating, drinking, taking a piss ...), I just stay home, doing some sport, watching movies ...
I WAIT FOR MY LIFE TO HAPPEN

Edit: I just went checking the mail and I received the paper to create my enterprise ... Soon, baby, soon

On a side note :
I start to watch people speak, instead of hearing people speak (body language, tone of voice > words)
I like being close to people, just with their energy, but words seem meaningless to me, I just look people right through their eyes, sometimes playfully with my sister who is the only one who 'stares' back for tens of seconds, even minutes (other people tend not to like prolonged eye contact with me)

My future :
The land I bought is at a 800m altitude small village, 800 habitants, mostly old people apparently.
When my farming's good, I'll do WWOOF (exchanging home and food for some hours of work on the farm), maybe meeting my x-factor that way, or at least meeting friends, people who share the same interests.

Looking back on my first post and why I came on this forum :
I failed to give you headaches (sorry Grinus ), 'cause I lost mine in the process ...
There has been physical changes (heaviness of the body, awareness of my pulse, senses at their peak (I can hear other people whispering at the opposite of the house, I have a panoramic view), constant relaxation of the body (it's not tense))
Yesterday when I took a shower it was like my first time, I felt each flow running through my body, and I could take a cold shower for longer than usual (I used to have very low intolerance of cold water), I will try again today to confirm this ...
The pattern of thought changed, even though I don't remember how I used to think, it surely wasn't what is experienced now.
I re-read (it was probably the 8th time) Pimposophies and Covert Tactics, and all I could do was nodding (of course it's THAT simple).

Testimonial :
I don't know what changed, therefore I don't know what was the cause (and if there was any, or if it's luck, or if there's nothing there at all and I'm delusional).
What is sure is that this forum allows you to communicate with REAL people, who are not after your money.
The problem is that some people are not willing to listen to them with an open mind ... because it will be the end of them as they know themselves.

I'm done.

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

this was a great story GoldenBoy,

your whole post was great but I have a question regarding the above ^^
How do you have no sex drive at 21?

I think it's good (to some degree) because it means that you won't spend too much money and effort to chase the Pussy and can just focus on living your life and be the best man you can be-
which will attract women to you in the long run.

but how did you do it?
were you just born this way or did you do anything?

_________________
"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

I'm also curious about this I'm 25 and my sex drive is stronger than before even with the truth of how they are trying to manipulate men because of this very thing.

_________________
~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo

Honestly, I don't know.

Damn the more I write, the less I think I answer ... (all in quote was three attempts of responding, that I keep for entertaining purpose )

Why don't I have a sexual drive ?

Two different things :
1. Being sexually turned on
2. Acting on those sexual impulses

1.
I am isolated from sexual stimulus the major part of time because I'm home all the time now (and before I worked only with guys)
My tool functions (I test it regularly ), I do get turned-on when I see something attractive (sometimes when looking at porn, or a beautiful voice, a gracious movement).

2.
Before, I didn't acted because I didn't consider myself worthy of being loved.
Adding that if sex didn't lead to procreation, it was as useless (in my opinion) as to flush the toilet after a one hand-show (I still think that, apart from connected sex).
I would add now that when I don't look at something attractive, I have no sexual thoughts, or at least not as much as to give me the will to handle the problem.

The questions you may ask yourselves are :
What fuels your sexual drive ? (don't say women )
What gives it its strength ?

To put it differently, maybe I am a low sex drive kind of guy (from 17 to 20 I masturbated between once a week and twice a day, with an average of once every 2-3 days.
When I heard (in a Jimmy carr dvd) that some young people masturbate up to 5 times a day I was stumped ...

Hopefully I answered this.

_________________
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler

thanks Goldenboy,

actually I learned how to control my sex drive but it took me a long time and a lot of thinking until I came out with my method- which I won't share here...
I just thought you might have had an easier strategy than mine ...

_________________
"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"