So I have been feeling a lot better mindset wise in the last few days. The roomate situation has subsided, so has a lot of other conflicts. Been reading Leigh's book, haven't finished it yet, but I'm gonna post a review of it after I finish. I digress though.
One thing that was in the book so far that has stuck out is the difference between being self amused and geniunely detached but fun at the same time. Self amused is something that a lot of people still do even after getting out of the community, we work on front, clout, improve analysis of situations. Get hobbies
. But it doesn't matter when we still care about what we can get from other people. We might be actually legit getting our life together, and even be the best choice (objectively not as an affirmation).But the initial levels of meeting people, girls or guys is very shallow at the basest level it revolves around two thing give and take. The catch is that everyone wants to take. So if your taking then it doesn't matter what you have to offer after, the interaction never gets that far, because they are attached to outcomes what they can get.
So in summary the key is not to be completely indifferent, your not a robot and people aren't either. We all have emotions, and the more you accept them and allow them to be the less they control you. The key is to show other people what they get over your desires.
The last few days have been kinda interesting I've noticed many things. The first noticeable thing is the amount of female attention just walking around minding my own business. It's kinda fun
.The issue is that I have a set comfort zone, I'm ok with getting flirted and such. The jocking during the day and stuff is fine. But when it's my move I still kinda freeze. I have three examples.
At the grocery store, I'm walking down the aisle. And then this blonde girl with her friend/sister crossed my path and looked sideways but it kinda raised a flag in my brain. But I walked past, then they were in the same area again on the other side of the freezer and she did the same avoid eye contact thing again. And then the final time it was kinda crowded but not super crowded and her brunette friend just froze in my path and locked eyes with me. For what felt like a long time (3seconds) and then dropped her eyes and smiled at me so I smiled back...but then her blonde friend pulled her away.
Another one was at the mall I came out and there was another blonde girl sitting on the bleacher type thing she stopped what she was doing and smiled at me I smiled back but didn't stop to engage her.
And the last example was pretty much the same.
So aside from the fact that I let 3 perfectly good opportunities slip
. How can I move past this.? If it was a nightclub it'd be no problem.
