Natural Freedom

So I have been feeling a lot better mindset wise in the last few days. The roomate situation has subsided, so has a lot of other conflicts. Been reading Leigh's book, haven't finished it yet, but I'm gonna post a review of it after I finish. I digress though.

One thing that was in the book so far that has stuck out is the difference between being self amused and geniunely detached but fun at the same time. Self amused is something that a lot of people still do even after getting out of the community, we work on front, clout, improve analysis of situations. Get hobbies . But it doesn't matter when we still care about what we can get from other people. We might be actually legit getting our life together, and even be the best choice (objectively not as an affirmation).

But the initial levels of meeting people, girls or guys is very shallow at the basest level it revolves around two thing give and take. The catch is that everyone wants to take. So if your taking then it doesn't matter what you have to offer after, the interaction never gets that far, because they are attached to outcomes what they can get.

So in summary the key is not to be completely indifferent, your not a robot and people aren't either. We all have emotions, and the more you accept them and allow them to be the less they control you. The key is to show other people what they get over your desires.

The last few days have been kinda interesting I've noticed many things. The first noticeable thing is the amount of female attention just walking around minding my own business. It's kinda fun .

The issue is that I have a set comfort zone, I'm ok with getting flirted and such. The jocking during the day and stuff is fine. But when it's my move I still kinda freeze. I have three examples.

At the grocery store, I'm walking down the aisle. And then this blonde girl with her friend/sister crossed my path and looked sideways but it kinda raised a flag in my brain. But I walked past, then they were in the same area again on the other side of the freezer and she did the same avoid eye contact thing again. And then the final time it was kinda crowded but not super crowded and her brunette friend just froze in my path and locked eyes with me. For what felt like a long time (3seconds) and then dropped her eyes and smiled at me so I smiled back...but then her blonde friend pulled her away.

Another one was at the mall I came out and there was another blonde girl sitting on the bleacher type thing she stopped what she was doing and smiled at me I smiled back but didn't stop to engage her.

And the last example was pretty much the same.

So aside from the fact that I let 3 perfectly good opportunities slip . How can I move past this.?

If it was a nightclub it'd be no problem.

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

Simple, it's just not in your reality yet.

You're comfortable talking to girls in clubs because you've experienced it a lot so you're desensitized to it, but there was a time once where you WEREN'T comfortable with it, just like you are now with the grocery store bitches.

Just start making small talk with some of these girls that are jock'n you...after the first one you'll feel more comfortable, then the more you do it the more comfortable you'll be, the more desensitized you'll be and you'll be creating a new reality and it will eventually become "normal" for you. Desensitization and having it be in your reality is what you seek my friend.

**Not giving a fuck what they think of you cause you know they're just dumb bitches soothes anxiety too.

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The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."

Valid point, the first bit talking to people in nightclubs was filled with a lot of anxiety. Guess I'll just have to bite the bullet.

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

Yup, I remember about 6 years ago when I first started talking to girls on the phone (Just got out of a 4 year relationship), I was nervous as fuck and was a little awkward...after a little while I could have a girl talking about how she likes to get fucked within 10 minutes. Just do it and eventually you'll be comfortable with it, and it won't take long, trust me, like a week if you do it daily...

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The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."

Yeah lol.

I remember when I was back in the community. I had so much social anxiety about talking to strangers, it took me over a year to psyche myself up enough to do it.

Funny thing is that nothing that I couldn't handle has EVER come up. If they're not interested, they don't put anything into they'll just cold shoulder you. And if they try to make you feel uncomfortable it means they dig you and they are testing you.

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

I still think you are confusing indifference with apathy.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

This is what I think the forum has been advocating. Being content with your life. I think Leigh is indifferent and is teaching that. Don't get caught up in what happens just be in the moment and have fun. I struggle with that a lot, but at least I think I'm getting it.
Being self amused, but not indifferent doesn't get you far. Reminds me of something somebody said.
I do not have that much experience, but I think I am learning and I think what I'm saying is correct.

But they're synonyms, thats probably why they are so confusing.

I don't think thats what's holding me back it's just out of my comfort zone

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

I think indifference is when you go into an interaction with no goals. No agenda. I struggle to think of times when I was completely indifferent, but I remember times when I was having fun. I had thoughts of wanting the girl and in some situations for the girl to be my girlfriend, but I just had fun. I remember feeling happy. Afterwards I got really clinging after having a good time. Indifference I think is just being happy in the moment not really focusing ahead on the future. Like I'm going to try to make this girl my girlfriend. You may want that, but don't need that.

Another situation I'm in the girl likes me and is pursuing me. She's pretty, but shes not really my type. I don't care what she does and I don't really want her. I often shut her down or play games with her, but I don't want her or care. Perhaps indifference is wanting, but not needs and apathy is not wanting or needing.

Thats my view anyways.

in many ways we are like robots,and it's amazing how robots can create a fake dream based on emotions and beliefs so vivid and real, like time for example. you take all concepts away and what is left is nothing, just another animal species.

They´re not synonyms.

Apathy is a state of powerlessness, power people give away
by mistakenly attributing power to items and people they lose or get.
That results in frustration, anger, apathy,; basically anything negative;
(that´s when you´re trying to get your power back and you lack the
means to do it.)

In indifference (non-attachment) you don´t mistakenly attribute power
to anything out there, so you are never away from your power.

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Thank you, Jared...always nice to have a different perspective.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!